I need to learn how to cope with anger

[stewiefan17]

I'm angry at my gf and like I have nothing to do except just sit and stew in my own anger. I don't even si when I'm angry. Which is a good thing, but like I just turn violent. Like I want to punch somebody in the face or worse. Depends on the degree of anger I have. I don't like being angry first of all, and I'm not a violent person. So I need some tips on how to deal with anger in a healthy way. So far all the ways I've tried aren't so healthy. Any advice would be helpful thanks.

-DJ

[onlypurples]

Keep your hands busy. I tend to take out anger on myself USING my hands, so I have found that if I can keep my hands busy doing something positive... this helps to get the energy out with a physical result.

I know you are a guy, but have you considered something like knitting or crochet? What about counted cross stitch or some other craft? Being able to manipulate, form, mold, create with the hands is very empowering!

For me, crochet works. It requires my hands to relax, so that I can maintain adequate tension. I can also physically see my creations and crochet tends to work up fairly fast, after you learn the basics.

I took up crochet about 18/20 months ago when I was at work to help calm my nerves and anger. Guys and girls where I work do it to help relieve the stress --- I find the physical sensation of yarn going through my hands and fingers very comforting and stimulating. I really like the texture of the acrylic yarn and it isn't too expensive, so I can work and work and work and work!!

[pelagic]

Excersize is a great way to vent. I usually go walking or jogging or ride my bike until I feel like i"m going to collapse.

I also like to cook, or snap chopsticks in half, or scream at some inatimate object.

[steady hands]

For me, having a process helps. When I first started using it, it was really hard and took a lot of effort, but now it's become like a default thing. But if I get angry, I stop whatever I'm doing, and try slow breathing to calm me down. It also helps if I can get away from whatever is making me angry for a couple minutes. Then I think through whatever made me mad, and logically go through it. Distancing myself from the problem helps calm me down, and keeps me from doing or saying things that I might later regret. If that doesn't work, I like to go for a walk, where I can be pissed off for a while, and I'm in a relatively safe place to be angry. Music also seems to help, so i'll turn something on really loud. As pelagic said, exercising is a good way to deal with anger. I think other friends help too, like just being around other people, or having someone to rant to. If you run out of options, you can try using the list of coping methods for ideas.


Maybe you should try and look at what's making you angry? I know you said it was your gf, but maybe you can pinpoint it to something, and then talk to her about it?

hope you find something that helps.
i'm here if you want to talk.

gretchen.

[Spidey]

It's hard because anger is such a blinding emotion. I struggle with anger, too, so I'll be watching this thread

[Roxi]

You said you were angry with your gf.

I know that sometimes my emotions get quite 'muddled' for lack of a better word and that most of the time when I think I am feeling angry - yes on the surface I am feeling angry - , but underneath that anger is usually a lot of hurt feelings and sometimes all it takes is to realise that and tend to that deeper hurt..and surely enough thr anger dissapates.

Don't know if this is the case with you though, as we are all indiviuals , but that's just my personal thoughts on it

ROxi