After - Monday night

[darlinglili]

I did it again, worse than I have in a while (haven't done it at all in a month). I feel so weak and pathetic, maybe this will help?

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.

Yep. Cleaned, not deep enough to bother with a plaster/band aid I don't think.

what had happened just before?

I was talking to my gf, actually opening up and talking about the SI.

what were you thinking and feeling?

Afraid that it won't get better, that no-one believes how serious it is and that I need help

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?

I hadn't done it properly in a month, and I heard back from the social worker who did my psych assessment - she decided that I was fine and didn't need any further treatment except maybe a few counselling sessions *sigh*

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.

were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?

I need to replace my meds tomorrow - I was running low, so I only took one pill instead of two for the past few days.

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?

Talked to my gf. Waited for the urge to pass. It just flared up again.

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?

I could have walked away, but I was too weak. I could have waited 15 minutes for the urge to pass, but it would have only come again.

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.

I'm going to try to throw the razorblade away and not take it to work, thus breaking two of my major rules - no razorblades and no cutting at work.

how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?

It was a good step, talking about it. I just need to learn to not follow up emotional situations with SI.

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?

Yes. I don't know how I'll get through it.

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.

Waiting 15 min, snapping elastic bands, calling my mother.

[sixtyfoothigh]

Hi there,

I think the rules about no razorblades and no cutting at work are really good ones.

I know with some meds fluctuations in dosage can make you feel worse - with some meds you get something called discontinuation syndrome. I know that's happened to me before when I've been running low and taken half doses until I get a script filled. Maybe that's something to bare in mind in the future.

Take care
S x