Strike Back of Secrets! [The Secrets Thread - Read 1st Post]

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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darlinglili
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Post by darlinglili » Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:53 pm

All I want is for you to say you're sorry, and you shouldn't have done it. That you were wrong, you're sorry you hurt me, and you'll never to it again to some other girl. You don't even have to mean it, I just want you to apologise, and to be forced to admit that you assaulted me on numerous occasions. Because I think you still think it was consensual, and that boggles me. You idiot.
"I'm so sweet, even I can't stand it." - Julie Andrews

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rhiannon
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Post by rhiannon » Sat Mar 22, 2008 12:21 am

i feel like a horrible person for being unable to help you when you were so miserable with the flu on our trip to ireland.

seeing you so sick like that terrified me, and i'm so scared that if it ever happened again i feel like i might break in two.

i want her to like me like i like her.

i want to ruin over a week of no SI <s>but the only thing keeping me from it is that when you get better i want to be with you and not freak you out.</s>


its killing me to not SI. i'm shaking. but i feel like i'm proving i love you.
<center>N’oublie jamais que le corps n’oublie jamais.
Never forget that the body never forgets.
0 days SI free
[since 3/29/08]
Slips: 5


I screwed up. Again.

Maiden and Chaos
The Luscious Shadow
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dawni
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Post by dawni » Sat Mar 22, 2008 8:20 am

It breaks my heart when people are nice to me because I feel like I have nothing to offer anyone; as a friend or as a partner. I feel like if I ask for anything, it's asking for too much, and I then feel terribly guilty.

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Sat Mar 22, 2008 10:51 am

i'm scared that you've left me already.
i'm scared that's why you're calling....to end it because one of them has asked you out and you'd rather be with them than me.
i'm scared that whatever i do, answer or not answer, it'll fuck things up.

please, just don't phone me until your back home, i can't face talking to you now, im too scared that if i answer the phone to you now you'll just be telling me that its over.

i just don't believe that you could be phoning me because you miss me or want to talk to me....not when you've been so aloof lately.

:cry:

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rememberthatiloveyou
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Post by rememberthatiloveyou » Sat Mar 22, 2008 4:42 pm

i'm scared to read through the coping section, because deep down i don't want to recover. i love being so depressed that i can't stop crying for hours. its really sick. but i know in my mind i'll be happier if i'm better, and can have normal friendships

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eleonor
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Post by eleonor » Sat Mar 22, 2008 6:29 pm

I'm fat!
Well...not that fat, but I feel fat. That's it! :(
... I'm gonna choose my path and go away
Away from salty winds and that deep ocean
That hides horizons and drowns dreams...

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Cuppy
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Post by Cuppy » Sat Mar 22, 2008 6:35 pm

.........
Last edited by Cuppy on Tue Jun 10, 2008 12:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
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steady hands
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Post by steady hands » Mon Mar 24, 2008 5:54 am

I love drugs.
I don't want to quit.

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Licentia Poetica
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Post by Licentia Poetica » Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:41 am

I'm always trying to find something to fight for because I don't think I can or want to do it for myself.

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Mon Mar 24, 2008 12:40 pm

i'm not as fixed as people think that i am.

i'd give anything to have friends to go out and socialise with.

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ThanksALatte
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Post by ThanksALatte » Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:20 am

i'm not as strong as you think i am. i wear my mask quite well.

i want you to call me. i want you to prove me wrong. because i really don't think you care. but i want you to.
<>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <><
"A thousand times I've failed, still Your mercy remains...should I stumble again, I'm caught in Your grace..."

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disastercake
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Post by disastercake » Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:26 am

I'm madly and completely in love, so deep that I can't ignore it or pull away without hurting him and getting hurt. I'm so afraid though but it's not fair to him because he didn't do anything to warrant my fear.
:bfly: -Al :bfly:

"...And once you have tasted flight,
you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards,
for there you have been,
and there you long to return..."
- Leonardo da Vinci

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Beasty
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Post by Beasty » Wed Mar 26, 2008 3:01 am

i like him again.
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

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funkymusic
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Post by funkymusic » Wed Mar 26, 2008 3:36 am

My secret is that I cut again, and I haven't told anyone yet.

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:38 pm

i feel so free now. i feel like now i can really move forward positively. i feel whole again.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
part of me enjoyed telling you to fuck off.

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smr89
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Post by smr89 » Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:23 am

I think i'm delaying the inevitable. I know we will end up breaking up. Well at least I'm 99.9% sure. I feel like I would be settling with you. I know I deserve better. I know I deserve a guy who doesn't lie to me, look at what you're looking at, say some of the things you've said to me or treat me the way you sometimes treat me. Yea, I deserve better. I just don't want to be single. Honestly thats the only reason I'm not ditching your sorry ass right now. I dont want to be alone so I keep going over "what ifs".
smr89

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand under it."
1 Corinthians 10:13

God bless our troops! I love you guys! You are my heros!

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rhiannon
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Post by rhiannon » Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:53 am

My secret is that I feel like I want to die.
My secret is that I want to whisper it in the ear of every stranger I meet,
but not let anyone close to me know.
<center>N’oublie jamais que le corps n’oublie jamais.
Never forget that the body never forgets.
0 days SI free
[since 3/29/08]
Slips: 5


I screwed up. Again.

Maiden and Chaos
The Luscious Shadow
</center>

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smr89
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Post by smr89 » Fri Mar 28, 2008 3:41 pm

I'm more sad than I thought I would be. I miss you. Actually no I don't. I don't miss you. You kinda treated me like shit, made me feel bad about myself and you were bossy as hell. So no, I don't miss you. I miss the idea of being in a relationship. I miss what I wanted our relationship to be, but it never would have been that because you weren't man enough to make it like that. Some of the things you said to me.....I should have dumbed you right there. How dare you say those things to me?! And how dare I let you, or any scum bag, say those things and get away with it?! I will get better. I'm already talking to someone else. O, also, you're a liar. You've lied to me a lot, more times then I can even think of right now. Plus, the whole looking at porn thing. Yea, that just ain't gonna work for me.
smr89

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand under it."
1 Corinthians 10:13

God bless our troops! I love you guys! You are my heros!

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caged bird
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Post by caged bird » Sat Mar 29, 2008 3:34 pm

i want to go but i'm sacared if i admit that it's like admitting what a total no hope looser i am, please 'force' me into it, i'd agree quicky, but i need to have someone else suggest it and to pretend not to want to go.

i need it to keep me going, i'm making last ditch attempts.
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Being almost devastated is horrible because it lingers. But total devastation brings a kind of peace. It lets you give up.
Thieves and Kings: Volume Two by Mark Oakly

The line between normal and crazy seemed impossibly thin. A person would have to be an expert tightrope walker in order not to fall.
Running with scissors - Augusten Burroughs

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red_viola
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my constant secrets....

Post by red_viola » Sat Mar 29, 2008 4:32 pm

i just realized that it is my fault my parents are divorced.
i gained a few pounds in a few days
i started cutting again but none of my friends IRL actually care...
i'm really depressed and SU constantly....but i'm good at hiding it
Last edited by red_viola on Mon Mar 31, 2008 1:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
My apologizes in advance if the above post makes no sense. I do that a lot.
*no longer proofreading posts in my place*
“Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.”~Unknown (to me atleast)

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