Discouraged

[disastercake]

My bf of a month pretty much told me that no matter what I do or how close we get that I'll never even have a chance at being his best friend. In a relationship, it's really important to me that eventually, that person be my best friend and me be theirs. I think that's completely necessary to have a strong relationship. He usually makes me feel so good and now I'm just totally discouraged and disappointed and don't see the point in trying. I understand that he's never had that before, and that it's not something he's used to but I don't think it's fair for him to automatically shoot the idea down.

Now I feel REALLY vulnerable and I was doing so good not wanting to SI, I've been SI free for 2 years with just a couple slips. And I dont' want to break now. I just dont know how to cope because this situation isn't one I can really do anything about. I guess I"m just looking for some support and if other people agree about the being best friends thing. I'm just really sad.

[handmade mute]

REading that, my first thought was that the two of you are coming from two very different places, relationship wise. I think I'd ask him why he feels that way, and what he defines a relationship as. It might just be different wording of the same kind of ideas. He might be someone who has trusted, and been hurt, and so has reservations about giving himself so openly and honestly to anyone, especially someone with the ability to hurt him. Maybe he just had a childhood watching parents with a completely different style of relationship. You've been together a month, he could just be a little concerned at how fast things are moving. Just give it time to grow or move where it will, because putting a pile of beliefs on where a relationship needs to go can be the fastest way to either scare your partner, or put unneeded pressure on a fledgling relationship.

Everyone comes into a relationship with some type of baggage. Don't give up hope, because he says something now doesn't mean it'll be true a year from now.

[disastercake]

i'm feeling really down and fulnerable again. ugh i feel immature about this whole thing and like i'm being unfair in my expectations, but at the same time it IS important to me help! i keep thinking about it, but i don't want to SI and I especially don't want it to negatively impact my relationship

[I'm.that.forgettable.]

Don't feel bad about your bf, me and my bf have had things we've disagreed on before, and it sucks, and I usually want to SI but sometimes it helps to just sit down and talk about it with him and try to get him to see where you're coming from.

Let me know if there's anything I can do.
<3 I'm.that.forgettable.

[disastercake]

thanks for the input. i've tried talking to him about it, but it's like i hit a brick wall and he's not receptive