Rant, rave, rage and riot *la*

amyfairy · Post by **amyfairy** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 4:13 pm

DON'T read.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
do you know what it feels like to be so fucking shit at something. so rubbish at it, it's unbeliavble.
and ppl say you're good at other stuff. ha! anyone can be okay at something if they spend 8 hours in the library a day. i'm not like her, with her fucking first and a high flying career.. saling through, becoming head of department &&&
and there's me, struggling on something so fucking simple.
god i annoy myself, why can't i just fucking do it. i can't breathe, it makes me want to rip myself up. or just yell or something.

fucking stupid. & that;s why i have no fucking self-belief - what is there to believe in?

handmade mute · Post by **handmade mute** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 2:16 am

Creepy ass pictures in my head: go away. I really do not have the energy to deal with you. If I wanted to see creepy shit, I'd watch a horror movie. You're not appreciated, you're not wanted, and I have enough stuff to deal with without adding your melodrama to the mix.

I want to be in the kitchen. I don't want to be afraid of going in there. It's frustrating. Oh, and that messed up little bit of me that *wants* to see what happens if I did that? The bit that is happy about it? You're sick. I hate you, GO AWAY.

Cuppy · Post by **Cuppy** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 4:07 pm

..................

nadine-cee · Post by **nadine-cee** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:19 pm

To K, H, L, DOh My Fucking God. Don't you have something else to talk about, you little biches. God can't you jut except I have different tastes from you's. You dont even notice when I'm falling apart, all you do is push me away, and btch about me behind my back. Don't yous have a life. Fucking hell, dont you realise that we all have problems, and we don't all fucking bragg about them.

To H

Fucking hell couldnt you be a little more understanding, go all I want is some fucking support, is that too much to ask.

wish · Post by **wish** » Tue Feb 26, 2008 11:30 pm

S- i hate youe right now.you dont give a shit about me and never have.and now youve got this new family you think of me even less.and maybe im not angry at you maybe its me because i still fucking CARE.

and i hate being such a fucking dunce.such a fucking emotional retard.i hate that im too fucking stubborn to let anyone in.
shit im just so FUCKING PISSED OFF!

handmade mute · Post by **handmade mute** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 6:15 am

P- I am so pissed at you right now. I am so sick of getting ONE DAY a week 'for me', that ends up being me stuck in this fucking unit YET AGAIN because you 'don't feel like going out'. I don't fucking care, I really don't. You get to leave the fucking unit, I don't. I need out. It is not helping my sanity to be trapped in this ugly ass unit. I get that you're tired from work, but you promised me we'd go out so I wasn't here all the damn time, and then you're too tired, or want to see your friends, and my getting out and doing what I want to becomes going out and doing what YOU want. I ask for one fucking day a week. That's it. It isn't asking for the world.

Besides, just to piss me off that bit more, you conveniently plan your fucking monthly social events on MY DAY. Which means MY DAY becomes 'cleaning day', where you get stressed and bitch at me, and I can't get anything done. Oh, yeah, that is just how I want my barely fucking there couple time to be spent.

And so we agree to go out on your pay day, since you have a half day. It means I get a few hours out of the house, which I NEED. And then you decide that's the day to organise going out with your mum.

It's great you have a relationship with her, but please, could you stop cutting in to my time to see her? Yes, it should only take half an hour, but you fucking well know her! It is never that short a visit, she never lets you just leave without a dozen fucking 'oh, while I think of it' moments. For God's sake, there is no reason you even had to go shopping. She has a car. She is old enough to make a decision. Why did it take the two of you to buy something your sister had already shown your mother and asked her to get for your sis's birthday? IT DOESN'T. Besides, she lives a few minutes from your work, and you're there 5 days, how hard is it to pick a different day?

You get so angry at me because you were such a punctual person before me. That's crap! How does a punctual person not realise their parent is attention seeking and it will take longer than 30 minutes to pick her up, go shopping, and come back?

I am angry that we were meant to go see our friends. We see them once a fortnight, if we're lucky, but it's surrounded by people I hate so we never get to really chat. We were meant to find out if they're going interstate for that thing, so we could drive down with them and cost share! And you're going 'oh, you can call them', um, have you not noticed the fact I'M NOT COPING WITH ANYTHING CHANGING LATELY??? Here I was thinking the sobbing and psychosis was a bit of a clue.

Yes, I am grateful that you're looking into getting my camera today. But it still blows that I'm trapped here, all day, that my weekend is filled up with stuff YOU organised or agreed to WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST, and I'm meant to be happy about it.

I'm not.

It sucks that my escape time has morphed into everyone elses time, and I hate you for that. You sit there and you say 'you need to get out more', and then when I'm meant to, you decide it isn't so important because you wanna just sit on the couch and watch movies over, and over, and OVER. The same 3 damn movies.

Just fucking ask me first, please. We're meant to be in a relationship. You're not my parent, or my carer. So please allow me the right to say 'yes' or 'no' to how I spend my time!

handmade mute · Post by **handmade mute** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 7:43 am

P- the next time you tell me you have nothing to say, after I've been vulnerable and open and honest with how I feel, I am going to hit you. Hard. In your face.

You tell me you want honesty and openness, knowing that I hate being so open and trusting that the other party won't make me regret it, and you make me regret it EACH AND EVERY FUCKING TIME. I am so fucking sick of this 'I have nothing to say, I don't know what to say' crap. Try being honest and open. If you think I'm overreacting, explain it to me so I understand. Don't just play the fucking victim and close your eyes, sleep for four hours, and then pretend it's all fine.

It's not.

Your a fuckwit and I want to punch you in the face right now. ''

It's only a conversation, and helpful to the relationship, if both parties participate. I'm sick and tired of you not participating, then getting pissy that I'm not all open and honest with you. You flat out lie to me, but I need to be honest? Fuck you, and fuck this relationship.

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 7:43 am

I can't take you. Its driving me mad. "tell me who the problem is" ITS YOU. why cant you ever think its you. you drive by my house at random times and are mad when im not there. I have a life. You call me three times a day. You try to control me. You are mad I told KW I love him, he is a friend I truely care for. Someone who my feelings for are that I care about him, he looks after me. He's the brother I always wanted. I CARE FOR HIM. I LOVE HIM.

DONT TELL ME I CANT SAY THAT TO HIM. I will run my relationships however I want. ILL NEVER TELL YOU I LOVE YOU because I DONT, you'll never mean so much to me as Kw does.

And you dare to say Im clingy to him and he will run away. Well you know nothing.

YOU ARENT MINE I WOULDNT WANT YOU. I hate you now. I hate the way you make me feel. Make me feel sick inside.

I feel so scared because of you

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 7:43 am

sorry triple post

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 7:43 am

sorry triple post

handmade mute · Post by **handmade mute** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 7:43 am

P- the next time you tell me you have nothing to say, after I've been vulnerable and open and honest with how I feel, I am going to hit you. Hard. In your face.

You tell me you want honesty and openness, knowing that I hate being so open and trusting that the other party won't make me regret it, and you make me regret it EACH AND EVERY FUCKING TIME. I am so fucking sick of this 'I have nothing to say, I don't know what to say' crap. Try being honest and open. If you think I'm overreacting, explain it to me so I understand. Don't just play the fucking victim and close your eyes, sleep for four hours, and then pretend it's all fine.

It's not.

Your a fuckwit and I want to punch you in the face right now.

It's only a conversation, and helpful to the relationship, if both parties participate. I'm sick and tired of you not participating, then getting pissy that I'm not all open and honest with you. You flat out lie to me, but I need to be honest? Fuck you, and fuck this relationship.

wish · Post by **wish** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 5:26 pm

i feel like im coming to the end of my tether.im hanging by a thread and it seems people (irl) are taking great delight in seeing how far they can sodding well push me.im sick to fucking death-what does anybody really do for me?fuck all,yet i dwell on it for hours if i have to let someone down and say no.i want to scream screw all of you!leave me the fuck alone.

Cuppy · Post by **Cuppy** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 5:32 pm

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 6:09 pm

Dear World,

No, I'm not happy any more. No I'm not like a ferret on speed any more. No you no longer need to install a wheel in my room so I can run off all the excess energy. Yes it is incredibly difficult for me to get out of bed at the moment. Yes it did take me three hours to even contemplate considering sitting up. Yes it is taking me forty minutes to write two sentences of my vastly important essay. And no, I no longer have sunshine in my veins.

Thank you all so much for reminding me that I am now a useless hulk of depressing space.

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Wed Mar 05, 2008 10:07 pm

GAH!

Stupid cats screwing outside!! SHUT UP!!!

ultimate starshine · Post by **ultimate starshine** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 4:28 am

I know the world hates me. I get it. I know Imm a failiure and i get that too. I dont know what the fuck i can do to make you all beieve that i AM WROTH IT, maybe i dont believe that, But i CANT believe that until you do asl well.

HakunaMatata · Post by **HakunaMatata** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 8:59 pm

I'm sorry. I thought there was this thing called RESPECT. And DECENCY. Where you keep your nose out of things and mouth SHUT. But I guess I was wrong. After all, negativity keeps the world spinning right? You miserable cow. FUCK OFF and leave me ALONE.

ultimate starshine · Post by **ultimate starshine** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:06 am

i hate people touching me. cant you just leave m the fuck alone.

handmade mute · Post by **handmade mute** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 4:53 am

Mum, you are an idiot. A huge one. Y'know why we have a crappy relationship? Because whenever we try to get together for birthdays, holidays or whatever, it has to be 'flexible'. Because you may or may not have to go babysit for my idiot fucking cousin. Let her raise her own damn spawn and deal with her own damn problems a while. Pretend, just for a while, that you have kids that care about you and would like to see you.

I get that she's having a rough time, but really, do you need to put your life on hold so much, that instead of being able to spend time with your DAUGHTERS on Easter, after it's been organised for a fortnight, you may spend it all with them, though you won't know till the last possible second because they're assholes who could not care less about anyone but themselves, but that's ok, because they make you feel needed again. I'm sorry, but my idiot cousin has decided to spend Easter on holidays, leaving hubby and kids alone, so this isn't exactly a huge event holiday for her. Yes, she's worried about him looking after the kids, but HE'S THE FATHER. He should raise them, not you.

You ARE needed. You NEED to spend some time with me. I want to know, just once, that I'm above spending time with cousin one, or cousin two more often these days, or work. Or my sister. Or lawn mowing. That's be nice, too, feeling like I was in the top five. You really have no idea how much I hate that everyone else comes before I do in your life.

Cuppy · Post by **Cuppy** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:06 pm

..............

bus

Rant, rave, rage and riot la

Who is online