before

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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caged bird
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before

Post by caged bird » Mon Feb 18, 2008 12:46 pm

Before:

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
  • how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
    i'll feel calmer, more relaxed, better able to cope
  • what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
    as usual it'll bring a snese of calm and peace, it'll make me feel lie i got what i deserved. it'll take away the ability i have to be objective in my job
  • how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
    further. i don't know how i want to feel in the long run becasue there's no specific situation, but i know SI will make me feel worse long term.
  • if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
    it'll be temporary, but the reasoning is that it'll give me enough strength to start fighting again, even if i know that isn't logical.
  • what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
    gym, walk, art, fix the gamecube, go back to bed. nothing will change the situation, there is no situation.
  • how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
    crap eother way, if i dont SI i'll still hae the urges, if i do then i'll feel guilty.
  • what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
    i want to cry, i want to get angry becasue i'm fed up of feeling so low



urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer
  • Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
    nothing specific, lots of little things over the last few weks, but mostly having time off of work i guess
  • Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
    i ride out the urge, but i'm struggling to remember why i'm doing that, and why that's better than the relief i gt from SI
  • What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
    relaxation, breakfast, bus, everyhting eeps coming back to me feeling yrgey though adn i get more frustrated each time
  • How do I feel right now?
    angry
  • How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
    calm
  • How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
    guilty, relieved
  • Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
    nope
  • Do I need to hurt myself?
    i feel like i deserve it, and i feel lie i want it but my head is telling me that it's not allowed because of work.
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