Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
i'll feel calmer, more relaxed, better able to cope - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
as usual it'll bring a snese of calm and peace, it'll make me feel lie i got what i deserved. it'll take away the ability i have to be objective in my job - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
further. i don't know how i want to feel in the long run becasue there's no specific situation, but i know SI will make me feel worse long term. - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
it'll be temporary, but the reasoning is that it'll give me enough strength to start fighting again, even if i know that isn't logical. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
gym, walk, art, fix the gamecube, go back to bed. nothing will change the situation, there is no situation. - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
crap eother way, if i dont SI i'll still hae the urges, if i do then i'll feel guilty. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
i want to cry, i want to get angry becasue i'm fed up of feeling so low
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
nothing specific, lots of little things over the last few weks, but mostly having time off of work i guess - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
i ride out the urge, but i'm struggling to remember why i'm doing that, and why that's better than the relief i gt from SI - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
relaxation, breakfast, bus, everyhting eeps coming back to me feeling yrgey though adn i get more frustrated each time - How do I feel right now?
angry - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
calm - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
guilty, relieved - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
nope - Do I need to hurt myself?
i feel like i deserve it, and i feel lie i want it but my head is telling me that it's not allowed because of work.