before

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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caged bird
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before

Post by caged bird » Sat Feb 09, 2008 1:15 pm

size=18]Before You Self-Harm[/size]
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
  • how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
    as usual the situation won't change, i'll feel calmer though.
  • what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
    it'll bring a sense of alm and relief and punishment, it'll tae away positive coping and my ability to do my job honestly
  • how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
    in the long run i want to wake up and be ok, and SIing isn't going to help with that.
  • if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
    it'll be a temporary relief, it'll feel good adn it might last out the day, by then i think i'll feel better.
  • what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
    i could go back to bed and sleep off my hangover, or i could wait patiently till my housemates get up and then chat to them. both of these will meake me feel better and chatting to my housemates might evenchange the situation slightly
  • how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
    i'll feel devastated tomorrow if i SI especially after giving geep a load of my tools yday and taling so long about not SIng. i'll feel better tomorrow if i chat to my housemates, and probably slightly impressed that i got through this
  • what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
    i want to know what happened last night, i want the hangover to go adn i want to cry, but i can't grasp what i want to cry about or make the tears come.



urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer
  • Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
    coming close to SI last night, panic about what happened last night, what i did but can't remember
  • Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
    for once i guess i have been here before, and i chalk it up to a drunken story to tell and i'm done with it
  • What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
    had breafast to try and remove the ahngover, posted here and tried chatting to my housemates a little, but i need the others to get up to fill me in
  • How do I feel right now?
    frightened, guilty, unsure of myself, hungover
  • How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
    calm
  • How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
    guilty, useless,
  • Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
    at some point i could learn to drink less :roll:
  • Do I need to hurt myself?
    not at all, but i can't mae the want go away. although i'm a little calmer anyways now.



Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.
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Being almost devastated is horrible because it lingers. But total devastation brings a kind of peace. It lets you give up.
Thieves and Kings: Volume Two by Mark Oakly

The line between normal and crazy seemed impossibly thin. A person would have to be an expert tightrope walker in order not to fall.
Running with scissors - Augusten Burroughs

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Post by amyfairy » Sat Feb 09, 2008 7:33 pm

hey birdie,
you go out and get drunk and can't remember what happened?
just feel.. embarrased about the whole event?
happnens to the best of us... well, me as well :roll:

i hope you've got some more sleep,
and your hangovers gone (the magic 3pm according to sara cox!)

and that you're feeling better after a talk with your housemates.
don't give in. you can get through it, & you can tell geep and he'll be super proud.

i've never replied to someone on this part of the board before, so i hope this was alright..... xx

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Post by caged bird » Sat Feb 09, 2008 11:19 pm

thanks for the reply it was great :) , yes the hangover is gone but the urges today have been AWFUL. have spoken to people about last night though and i didn't make a fool of myself or do what i thought i had done.
visit my website
My Place

Being almost devastated is horrible because it lingers. But total devastation brings a kind of peace. It lets you give up.
Thieves and Kings: Volume Two by Mark Oakly

The line between normal and crazy seemed impossibly thin. A person would have to be an expert tightrope walker in order not to fall.
Running with scissors - Augusten Burroughs

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amyfairy
postinating the countryside
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Posts: 23286
Joined: Tue Mar 02, 2004 10:39 pm
Location: UK

Post by amyfairy » Sun Feb 10, 2008 12:26 am

yay! for not making a fool outta yourself... you're better than me! :wink:
i'm sorry the urges have been awful, but you've gotten through it :) = strong kirsty.

hope you get a good nights sleep,
& that tomorow is easier on you.

xx

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