slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
- have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Done and dusted. - what had happened just before?
Bit of a friend problem, found out I was a bit of a pest to someone. - what were you thinking and feeling?
Bad, down, annoyed with myself about being such a pain for someone else, putting them under so much pressure. - why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
Because I tried ringing Childline and phoning up this line to a councellor as well which I could do in an emergency, and failed miserably because there was no answer, by then I had ran out of patience. - how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
Well, I've always talked to D about my problems and such, which he said was fine, however now I found out that I was in the way because he felt terrible today and I couldn't find out why, after he talked to his gf she told me that it was partly because I was talking about myself too much, and I feel horrible for letting him down because I don't shut up about myself and forget he has a life too...I'm not sure if I could've done anything today in particular, just the fact if I waited out a bit longer and waited to be able to try Childline or my councellor again I could've gotten somewhere. - were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
Not that I know off, I felt quite good physically. - what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I tried writing to the cutting itself saying that I wont do it, it helped until more events folded, I had loads of sellotape around my tool but I managed to get into it...walking around out of school, music, time alone, and none of it worked. - in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
Well no, for once I tried everything before giving in. - name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
I can't think of anything else, just try lstening to music again, just keep trying to talk to people, keep myself distracted and relaxed, or sort out the problems instead of thinking about the SI. - how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
Well the situation hasn't changed, I've got to start talking to D and not mention myself, which will be wierd. Perhaps not tonight as all this has happened, but perhaps tomorrow when I see him for school again we can get things sorted and move on...
- are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
I hopefully wont end up there again, it's just a muck-up that I'm going to learn from and improve from, IF I end up there I'm just going to do the same as before, phone up Childline for any help, phone up my councellor if I can and try the same coping methods.
- what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
Once again posting on here.
Having my music on for myself, get away from opportunities to SI and get some time to myself.
Talk to anyone I can the best I can about the problems that I am having and get it sorted.
About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
- What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
Well the fact I've tried everything else, and this time it really became a last resort. - Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
I made it available once the sellotape was off my tool, oh well something I can wrap up again later. - What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
Probably would've totally isolated myself from anyone and anything that could make me feel worse, have my music on so loud that I'd almost be deaf, make myself feel possessed by the songs I have. - If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
Increased terribly at first, nearly felt like needing to go anywhere to hurt myself or do anything, and then I just had to turn to my blade, because I didn't want to make things worse. - What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
The right feeling for me, when things are WAY too hard, also when everything else has been tried first. - If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
Panicky, worried, have fidgets and then people would think I'm wierd...
