After...

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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Nursing_girl
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After...

Post by Nursing_girl » Thu Jan 03, 2008 5:28 pm

****So, is it ok if I do my 'After' thread now even though I SIed last night? I wasnt able to get online at the time, so I couldnt do a 'Before' one. :(



*have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait. yes.


*what had happened just before?
I had been reading in the living room, and then I went to my room to go to sleep.

*what were you thinking and feeling?
I was looking at my scars and randomly felt like SIing. I was only thinking that I wanted to cut, and about the fact that I have so many scars already, so a few more arent going to matter.

*why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
I was alone because everyone else was asleep...and I was done reading/going online, etc.

*how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
I could have read longer rather than head to bed when I knew I was feeling a bit depressed.

*were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
maybe lack of sleep...which may have lead to me not really trying to resist the urge- I just wanted to SI and get it over with, rather than resist the urges for an hour and lose more sleep.

*what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
telling myself that I've made it 2 weeks already and I shouldnt ruin it, telling myself all the negative aspects of SI...they worked for a few minutes, but then I just gave up.

*in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
a lot...just going to bed, reading, trying to get back online

*name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
I dont know...I guess I can put a note in the drawer in my closet that has the razors, telling myself to do other things instead....

*how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
well, there wasnt any situation at all...just a random urge. so, it was incredibly stupid.

*are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
probably. I'll definitely notice when I'm having those feelings again...

*what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
1. I will try to leave the room/do other things
2. I will try harder to remind myself of all the reasons I wanted to stop SI
3. I will....tell myself that it's just a stupid urge and that I'm stronger than that.
:(
~~~Kristen~~~
Life is a song...Love is the Music::: My Place!

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*There been times that I thought I couldn't last for long
But now I think I'm able to carry on
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will
-Sam Cooke*

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idork
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Post by idork » Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:53 pm

*hugs*
Everyone has a story.
This is mine in all of it's awkward-messy-geeky-bias-spastic-blunt-spontaneous-mad-authentic-aesthetics.
My Place//Tumblr

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LBC
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Post by LBC » Fri Jan 04, 2008 6:41 am

Why the sad face? It seems to me that you learned a lot from talking about what happened...you have some strategies for next time (there's a great distractions list in Sourcebook, by the way), and it sounds like you'll definitely recognize a random urge next time it comes around...

You also have almost two weeks under your belt...I can understand why you might be upset about losing it, but you've done it once...that means you can do it again, and maybe go a bit longer next time.

Not so hard on yourself, okay? We all slip...

Take gentle care.

:1paw:
If you believe everyone is the future
If you believe that nothing ever goes wrong
If you believe that deep down inside you're really falling apart
Know that everybody's weak and everyone can be strong. - Sloan

You always have a choice.

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Nursing_girl
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Post by Nursing_girl » Fri Jan 04, 2008 5:21 pm

Thanks, both of you.

bear cub- I'm trying to stay positive and remind myself of the things you said...it's just tough sometimes. I'm doing my best though!
~~~Kristen~~~
Life is a song...Love is the Music::: My Place!

Image

*There been times that I thought I couldn't last for long
But now I think I'm able to carry on
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will
-Sam Cooke*

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