What is your secret? I cut. I like cutting. I hate myself for cutting.
Why is it a secret? Im afraid of what others will say or if they will even be able to help me stop or cope at least.
What are your feelings about this secret? I feel ashamed, alone, guilty, pathetic, like a liar and the list could go on
Why are you telling this secret now? It feels better to get it out at least to someone.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better? I dont know what to do about it at all.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it? Ive told a counselor at my school but she got a better job so no one here I trust enough or feel comfortable enough telling so I guess thats a no.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret? in the aspect that I have no one around me yes but i know others are out there somewhere just not in my life.
What would you say to someone else with this secret? That I understand and that we could use each other to help.
Secrets and more (please stay safe)
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KittyCath
- creating your space
- Posts: 211
- Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2007 1:40 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: Florida
- Contact:
Secrets "trigger"
What is your secret?
I was SA by father multiple times and when I think about it I LOVE to cut
Why is it a secret?
I havent told how many times and to what extent. I reported to T about the first one but none after that.........
What are your feelings about this secret?
I am ashamed, embarrassed and dont know how to tell about other attacks, when I think about it I just cut, I cut everywhere.....
Why are you telling this secret now?
I want relief.........
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I desperately want to tell T, I just cant.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Absolutely alone, why would a person just tell when it started and end with that...... Why have a T and not tell her "everything"
What would you say to someone else with this secret? TELL!!!!!!!!!!
I was SA by father multiple times and when I think about it I LOVE to cut
Why is it a secret?
I havent told how many times and to what extent. I reported to T about the first one but none after that.........
What are your feelings about this secret?
I am ashamed, embarrassed and dont know how to tell about other attacks, when I think about it I just cut, I cut everywhere.....
Why are you telling this secret now?
I want relief.........
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I desperately want to tell T, I just cant.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Absolutely alone, why would a person just tell when it started and end with that...... Why have a T and not tell her "everything"
What would you say to someone else with this secret? TELL!!!!!!!!!!
b]What is your secret?[/b]
I've been working myself up to eating regular meals in the past week, but I can't help feeling fat and disgusting. My secret is that everytime I eat, I see the face of the guy I just started seeing, and I imagine him being disgusted with me. Truth is, I care what he thinks of me more than I should.
Why is it a secret?
I have a habit of adamantly denying that I care what some guy thinks about my appearance, and I proudly proclaim that I would never want to be with anyone who was interested solely in my appearance. I feel like I am acting like an idiot to imagine his face, like I'm somehow failing myself and ruining my perception of myself as a smart woman. I always say that my ED is not even about what I look like.
What are your feelings about this secret?
I feel embarassed for feeling the way I do about this boy and about food and my idea of myself. More than that, though, I feel fat and ugly and like every guy I've met since my last boyfriend would actually run at the sight of me naked. I guess that's what I'm the most embarassed about.
Why are you telling this secret now?
Maybe so I can see how stupid it all sounds when I write it out.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I can't even begin to answer that.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
Not at all. That would require opening up about sooo many other things...this is a small thing, really...but it's a reflection of something much larger.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
I would assume that I am not.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Honestly, in real life I would give them the advice that I could never take myself (as I always do) in order to hide the fact that I share the same problem.
I've been working myself up to eating regular meals in the past week, but I can't help feeling fat and disgusting. My secret is that everytime I eat, I see the face of the guy I just started seeing, and I imagine him being disgusted with me. Truth is, I care what he thinks of me more than I should.
Why is it a secret?
I have a habit of adamantly denying that I care what some guy thinks about my appearance, and I proudly proclaim that I would never want to be with anyone who was interested solely in my appearance. I feel like I am acting like an idiot to imagine his face, like I'm somehow failing myself and ruining my perception of myself as a smart woman. I always say that my ED is not even about what I look like.
What are your feelings about this secret?
I feel embarassed for feeling the way I do about this boy and about food and my idea of myself. More than that, though, I feel fat and ugly and like every guy I've met since my last boyfriend would actually run at the sight of me naked. I guess that's what I'm the most embarassed about.
Why are you telling this secret now?
Maybe so I can see how stupid it all sounds when I write it out.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I can't even begin to answer that.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
Not at all. That would require opening up about sooo many other things...this is a small thing, really...but it's a reflection of something much larger.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
I would assume that I am not.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Honestly, in real life I would give them the advice that I could never take myself (as I always do) in order to hide the fact that I share the same problem.
"I thought my ideas were so clear. I wanted to make an honest film. No lies whatsoever. I thought I had something so simple to say. Something useful to everybody. A film that could help bury forever all those dead things we carry within ourselves. Instead, I'm the one without the courage to bury anything at all. When did I go wrong? I really have nothing to say, but I want to say it all the same." -Federico Fellini's 8 1/2
...beneath the waves...
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Arcana
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 3279
- Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2007 8:41 pm
- Location: My body's with me, no idea where my mind's at
What is your secret?
I'm afraid to get into a relationship with a guy. Not because I'm afraid of rejection (I mean I am, but that's another story) but rather because when it comes to sexual contact a part of me just shuts down, dissociates. Mentally and emotionally, I'm not there, I'm not real.
Why is it a secret?
I don't feel close enough to anyone IRL to tell someone about this.
What are your feelings about this secret?
It's really very frustrating-- like I know that there's a guy out there who isn't just after physical pleasure, who might actually like me, but if I found him I'd be reluctant to make a move of any sort.
Why are you telling this secret now?
Keeping it inside is leading to some negative consequences, that I shall not elaborate on here.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
Yeah, not assume that the only way I can be useful is to passively give my body up to some asshole so he can have his fun, regardless of my own feelings?
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
Maybe. It depends on how much I like the counselor I've got an appointment with next week...
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Probably not, no
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
I'd ask them to see professional help, because it's kind of a big thing, y'know?
I'm afraid to get into a relationship with a guy. Not because I'm afraid of rejection (I mean I am, but that's another story) but rather because when it comes to sexual contact a part of me just shuts down, dissociates. Mentally and emotionally, I'm not there, I'm not real.
Why is it a secret?
I don't feel close enough to anyone IRL to tell someone about this.
What are your feelings about this secret?
It's really very frustrating-- like I know that there's a guy out there who isn't just after physical pleasure, who might actually like me, but if I found him I'd be reluctant to make a move of any sort.
Why are you telling this secret now?
Keeping it inside is leading to some negative consequences, that I shall not elaborate on here.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
Yeah, not assume that the only way I can be useful is to passively give my body up to some asshole so he can have his fun, regardless of my own feelings?
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
Maybe. It depends on how much I like the counselor I've got an appointment with next week...
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Probably not, no
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
I'd ask them to see professional help, because it's kind of a big thing, y'know?
"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."-- Kurt Cobain
I'm not a work of art, I'm a piece of work.
I'm not a work of art, I'm a piece of work.
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Cellardoor
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3499
- Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2005 2:04 am
- Location: Ireland
What is your secret?
im not in recovery anymore.
Why is it a secret?
because i dont want to disapoint everyone, theyre all so proud of me.
What are your feelings about this secret?
it makes me want to go all the way down again. its making me remember how comforting it was to be depressed, how easy it was to stay in bed all day instead of fighting.
Why are you telling this secret now?
because i need to get back where i was, i need to be in recovery. before i let it all get shitty again.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
tell my mum, tell my T...
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
i really really dont want to.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
no...
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Tell someone, dont worry, you can get back to were you were, you did it before...
im not in recovery anymore.
Why is it a secret?
because i dont want to disapoint everyone, theyre all so proud of me.
What are your feelings about this secret?
it makes me want to go all the way down again. its making me remember how comforting it was to be depressed, how easy it was to stay in bed all day instead of fighting.
Why are you telling this secret now?
because i need to get back where i was, i need to be in recovery. before i let it all get shitty again.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
tell my mum, tell my T...
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
i really really dont want to.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
no...
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Tell someone, dont worry, you can get back to were you were, you did it before...
I built my house,
Where the ocean meets the land,
It's time to live again,
And pull my dreams out of the sand.
(take the pieces and build them skywards)
(expressions)
FOUR YEARS HAPPY AND FREE!
What is your secret?
I'm a kleptomaniac of sorts.
Why is it a secret?
I'd think that to be rather self-explanitory
What are your feelings about this secret?
I'm fairly neutral towards it and I think that's the problem
Why are you telling this secret now?
I don't know. I just felt I needed to say it.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I could just not but it's not that simple. It's not really something I'm keen on changing, either. I know I should be, but I'm not.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I have told someone and she hasn't told a soul. It was hard to say and I'm afraid that someday, I'm going to have to call her asking her for help 'cause I got caught. I'm very careful, though.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Since it has a clinical name, it's highly unlikely that I'm the only one with kleptomania of sorts.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Are we bad people?
I'm a kleptomaniac of sorts.
Why is it a secret?
I'd think that to be rather self-explanitory
What are your feelings about this secret?
I'm fairly neutral towards it and I think that's the problem
Why are you telling this secret now?
I don't know. I just felt I needed to say it.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I could just not but it's not that simple. It's not really something I'm keen on changing, either. I know I should be, but I'm not.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I have told someone and she hasn't told a soul. It was hard to say and I'm afraid that someday, I'm going to have to call her asking her for help 'cause I got caught. I'm very careful, though.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Since it has a clinical name, it's highly unlikely that I'm the only one with kleptomania of sorts.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Are we bad people?
Eisa = Beasty's Twin
Beasty's Place!
-
FlyingOnBrokenWings
- building community
- Posts: 618
- Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2007 10:43 pm
- Location: Somewhere out there...
*******************************************************Sexual Abuse/Rape Triggers*******************************************
PM's are welcome, however, I talk about a controversial topic. I have my opinion about it already formed. I believe it is wrong in most cases. I don't know how I feel about it in my case - but I'm not looking for people to discuss other ways to look at it. I am looking at the event and the secrets involved.
What is your secret? I was raped last year, became pregnant as a result - and had an abortion.
Why is it a secret? The shame and stigma of being raped was bad enough. I mean, everyone always told me not to walk across campus at night by myself - but I did it anyway. I had friends who would have picked me up, but no, I had to be Ms. Independent - and where'd it get me - slammed on the ground, raped, and pregnant. I can't tell people that I had an abortion. In my family and with many of my friends, that is reason for being disowned.
What are your feelings about this secret? Shame, guilt - pain - I still cry for my baby
Why are you telling this secret now? I think that BUS is more accepting than my family/friends would be and maybe if I have the courage to share it here, I can be brave and eventually share it with others. I'm also looking at a lot of my anger issues - and I know that inside I have a lot of anger toward my rapist, I'm just afraid to let it out.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better? Not really - forgive myself, forgive my rapist, pray for forgiveness for aborting my baby.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it? I don't have anyone I trust. The one person that knew has since been killed in a car accident. I haven't told anyone else.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
I know I'm not alone in being raped - but I've never met anyone else who became pregnant and aborted the baby. I've heard the stories of keeping the baby - and how it turned out wonderfully but none like me.
What would you say to someone else with this secret? About the rape - You did nothing wrong. You should be able to walk on campus without being hurt like that. About the abortion - I can't even go there yet.
PM's are welcome, however, I talk about a controversial topic. I have my opinion about it already formed. I believe it is wrong in most cases. I don't know how I feel about it in my case - but I'm not looking for people to discuss other ways to look at it. I am looking at the event and the secrets involved.
What is your secret? I was raped last year, became pregnant as a result - and had an abortion.
Why is it a secret? The shame and stigma of being raped was bad enough. I mean, everyone always told me not to walk across campus at night by myself - but I did it anyway. I had friends who would have picked me up, but no, I had to be Ms. Independent - and where'd it get me - slammed on the ground, raped, and pregnant. I can't tell people that I had an abortion. In my family and with many of my friends, that is reason for being disowned.
What are your feelings about this secret? Shame, guilt - pain - I still cry for my baby
Why are you telling this secret now? I think that BUS is more accepting than my family/friends would be and maybe if I have the courage to share it here, I can be brave and eventually share it with others. I'm also looking at a lot of my anger issues - and I know that inside I have a lot of anger toward my rapist, I'm just afraid to let it out.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better? Not really - forgive myself, forgive my rapist, pray for forgiveness for aborting my baby.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it? I don't have anyone I trust. The one person that knew has since been killed in a car accident. I haven't told anyone else.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
I know I'm not alone in being raped - but I've never met anyone else who became pregnant and aborted the baby. I've heard the stories of keeping the baby - and how it turned out wonderfully but none like me.
What would you say to someone else with this secret? About the rape - You did nothing wrong. You should be able to walk on campus without being hurt like that. About the abortion - I can't even go there yet.
With a broken wing, she still sings
She keeps an eye over the sky...
And with a broken wing, she'll carry her dreams
Man, you ought to see her fly!
Martina McBride, Broken Wing
A Soft Place to Land
Taking a Hard Look at Life
She keeps an eye over the sky...
And with a broken wing, she'll carry her dreams
Man, you ought to see her fly!
Martina McBride, Broken Wing
A Soft Place to Land
Taking a Hard Look at Life
-
nzgurl
- meeting the neighbors
- Posts: 453
- Joined: Tue May 22, 2007 9:58 am
- Location: meh.... around
- Contact:
What is your secret?
I have feelings for one of my friends
Why is it a secret?
because i know they dont feel the same way
What are your feelings about this secret?
scared, that one day im gonna stuff up an say something, an loose my best friend
Why are you telling this secret now?
because people here are supportive, an i need to just say it
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
maybe, i dont think so right now
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
no we share all the same friends, an if i said anything it would get back to her
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
no... i guess lots of people feel this way
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
i dunno, if your not gonna tell her, maybe its time to move on?
I have feelings for one of my friends
Why is it a secret?
because i know they dont feel the same way
What are your feelings about this secret?
scared, that one day im gonna stuff up an say something, an loose my best friend
Why are you telling this secret now?
because people here are supportive, an i need to just say it
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
maybe, i dont think so right now
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
no we share all the same friends, an if i said anything it would get back to her
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
no... i guess lots of people feel this way
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
i dunno, if your not gonna tell her, maybe its time to move on?
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Arcana
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 3279
- Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2007 8:41 pm
- Location: My body's with me, no idea where my mind's at
What is your secret?
I'm actually attracted to girls some days, as well as guys
Why is it a secret?
I'm not entirely sure about my sexuality (I could just be bi-curious), but I'm different enough with my racial and religious background, I really don't need to alienate myself further, especially if it's not true
What are your feelings about this secret?
Angry--there's nothing wrong with not being straight, so I don't see why I'm so bothered by the fact that I might not be. And scared-- I don't want another minority badge, because although I'm proud of who I am, it's just really hard sometimes
Why are you telling this secret now?
Because two therapists have asked me the same question in about as many days, and I didn't think I was really lying when I said "no", although I've felt sexually attracted to some girls since I was in the 7th grade. I just saw a really hot pic of Liv Tyler, though, and...yeah
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I can't change it. I guess I could maybe talk to someone about it? I dunno.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
Yes, I probably could.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Oh, hells no! A lot of people have this secret, probably, but we're all pretty good at hiding it.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
At the risk of sounding like the biggest hypocrite ever, "It's nothing to be ashamed about. I'll be here for you, whatever you chose to do."
I'm actually attracted to girls some days, as well as guys
Why is it a secret?
I'm not entirely sure about my sexuality (I could just be bi-curious), but I'm different enough with my racial and religious background, I really don't need to alienate myself further, especially if it's not true
What are your feelings about this secret?
Angry--there's nothing wrong with not being straight, so I don't see why I'm so bothered by the fact that I might not be. And scared-- I don't want another minority badge, because although I'm proud of who I am, it's just really hard sometimes
Why are you telling this secret now?
Because two therapists have asked me the same question in about as many days, and I didn't think I was really lying when I said "no", although I've felt sexually attracted to some girls since I was in the 7th grade. I just saw a really hot pic of Liv Tyler, though, and...yeah
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I can't change it. I guess I could maybe talk to someone about it? I dunno.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
Yes, I probably could.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
Oh, hells no! A lot of people have this secret, probably, but we're all pretty good at hiding it.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
At the risk of sounding like the biggest hypocrite ever, "It's nothing to be ashamed about. I'll be here for you, whatever you chose to do."
"I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."-- Kurt Cobain
I'm not a work of art, I'm a piece of work.
I'm not a work of art, I'm a piece of work.
What is your secret?
I'm afraid that I might be falling in love with a 48 year old woman. I'm both a woman and 17. We have been friends for a couple years and she has helped me through rough patches. Just to add more weirdness: her son was my first love as of about 3 years ago. I am certain that this is not remnants of my old love for C being deflected onto her. I loved her for her (in some way) since I got to know her. Now I'm afraid that it is progressing...
Why is it a secret?
Because such a thing would be an extreme taboo and because nothing good could come of revealing that information. While I could not handle a sexual relationship of any sort right now, telling someone of the possibility of those types of feelings would raise that issue. The most I could conceive of doing with her (with anyone) would be a kiss. Still taboo.
What are your feelings about this secret?
It terrifies me. The very concept of being in love again is scary and especially one that is almost sure to be unrequited. I'm scared that these physiological responses mean exactly what I think they mean.
Why are you telling this secret now?
Because, if I don't say it somewhere, it will eat me alive. It's a subject that holds such shame for me that I guess I need to say it here and maybe know that I'm not twisted or sick for feeling this way.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I don't see how. I can keep denying the possibility and denying the interpretations of my racing heart rate and halted respiration. I can try as hard as I can to make sure that this "might be" doesn't become a "definitely". This has the possibility of making my life easier, certainly not happier. Supressing such things is neither pleasant nor fulfilling.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
Oh dear God, the possibility makes my stomach lurch. Even if I did tell someone, what would it accomplish? I know that she and this awesome guy, S, have been seriously considering marriage for a couple years. I know that such a relationship could never happen.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
I don't doubt that someone has had feelings for another person 31ish years older. I don't doubt that perhaps someone has fallen in love with someone that much older and of the same sex. But I don't think that anyone else has fallen for their old love's mother. I think I'm just weird that way.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
I would tell them that they are not alone. I wish I could tell them that their feelings are not twisted or sick, that their feelings are completely okay, but I'm not sure of that, myself.
...I'm not twisted, am I?
I'm afraid that I might be falling in love with a 48 year old woman. I'm both a woman and 17. We have been friends for a couple years and she has helped me through rough patches. Just to add more weirdness: her son was my first love as of about 3 years ago. I am certain that this is not remnants of my old love for C being deflected onto her. I loved her for her (in some way) since I got to know her. Now I'm afraid that it is progressing...
Why is it a secret?
Because such a thing would be an extreme taboo and because nothing good could come of revealing that information. While I could not handle a sexual relationship of any sort right now, telling someone of the possibility of those types of feelings would raise that issue. The most I could conceive of doing with her (with anyone) would be a kiss. Still taboo.
What are your feelings about this secret?
It terrifies me. The very concept of being in love again is scary and especially one that is almost sure to be unrequited. I'm scared that these physiological responses mean exactly what I think they mean.
Why are you telling this secret now?
Because, if I don't say it somewhere, it will eat me alive. It's a subject that holds such shame for me that I guess I need to say it here and maybe know that I'm not twisted or sick for feeling this way.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I don't see how. I can keep denying the possibility and denying the interpretations of my racing heart rate and halted respiration. I can try as hard as I can to make sure that this "might be" doesn't become a "definitely". This has the possibility of making my life easier, certainly not happier. Supressing such things is neither pleasant nor fulfilling.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
Oh dear God, the possibility makes my stomach lurch. Even if I did tell someone, what would it accomplish? I know that she and this awesome guy, S, have been seriously considering marriage for a couple years. I know that such a relationship could never happen.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
I don't doubt that someone has had feelings for another person 31ish years older. I don't doubt that perhaps someone has fallen in love with someone that much older and of the same sex. But I don't think that anyone else has fallen for their old love's mother. I think I'm just weird that way.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
I would tell them that they are not alone. I wish I could tell them that their feelings are not twisted or sick, that their feelings are completely okay, but I'm not sure of that, myself.
...I'm not twisted, am I?
Eisa = Beasty's Twin
Beasty's Place!
-
roseblum15
- meeting the neighbors
- Posts: 427
- Joined: Tue Nov 19, 2002 2:03 am
- Location: Wisconsin
- Contact:
What is your secret?
I'm in love with my best friend who isn't gay
Why is it a secret?
I don't think she feels the same way and I fear screwing up the friendship, because I know having her freaked by me is way worse than her not knowing
What are your feelings about this secret?
It is really bothering me, and its bringing back a lot of old feeling of when I sied
Why are you telling this secret now?
I need someone to know it, because its eating me up inside
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I could tell her, that would really be the only way to get a definate answer
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it? I can't tell her yet, but maybe someone that knows us both
Do you think you are alone in having this secret? I know others have similar ones at least.
What would you say to someone else with this secret? I can't give advice to something I'm to scared to do myself
I'm in love with my best friend who isn't gay
Why is it a secret?
I don't think she feels the same way and I fear screwing up the friendship, because I know having her freaked by me is way worse than her not knowing
What are your feelings about this secret?
It is really bothering me, and its bringing back a lot of old feeling of when I sied
Why are you telling this secret now?
I need someone to know it, because its eating me up inside
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I could tell her, that would really be the only way to get a definate answer
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it? I can't tell her yet, but maybe someone that knows us both
Do you think you are alone in having this secret? I know others have similar ones at least.
What would you say to someone else with this secret? I can't give advice to something I'm to scared to do myself
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shannie1985
- settling in
- Posts: 127
- Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 6:58 am
- Location: Canada
tags to copy/paste:
What is your secret?
I have been making myself get sick after eating.
Why is it a secret?
because the one person i told freaked out on me and I haven't been able to tell anyone since
What are your feelings about this secret?
I hate that i do it. I just don't know how to stop. I can't stop thinking about it.
Why are you telling this secret now?
I need to get it out. I need to tell someone. I wish that I could tell someone I actually knew, I just need help.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
Probably. I could eat a healthy meal that wouldn't make me want to get rid of it. I could leave the house after I eat so that I am unable to get rid of it.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I don't know...I'm so afraid. The last person I told reacted so badly. I'm too scared to tell someone else.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
no. I imagine there are plenty of other people
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
tell someone and get some help. it's always harder to take your own advice though
What is your secret?
I have been making myself get sick after eating.
Why is it a secret?
because the one person i told freaked out on me and I haven't been able to tell anyone since
What are your feelings about this secret?
I hate that i do it. I just don't know how to stop. I can't stop thinking about it.
Why are you telling this secret now?
I need to get it out. I need to tell someone. I wish that I could tell someone I actually knew, I just need help.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
Probably. I could eat a healthy meal that wouldn't make me want to get rid of it. I could leave the house after I eat so that I am unable to get rid of it.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I don't know...I'm so afraid. The last person I told reacted so badly. I'm too scared to tell someone else.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
no. I imagine there are plenty of other people
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
tell someone and get some help. it's always harder to take your own advice though
"When I stand before thee at days end, thou shalt see my scars and know that I've had my wounds and also my healing"
Rabindranath Tagore
Rabindranath Tagore
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vampirelover
- spiffy maximus
- Posts: 4149
- Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2007 8:45 pm
- Gender: F
- Location: London ish(England), age : 21
What is your secret?
I smile when im being fake (99% of the time)
Why is it a secret?
Because im meant to be okay
What are your feelings about this secret?
I hate that I have to pretend to be happy but i dont really have a choice
Why are you telling this secret now?
I feel annoyed that I cant be myself
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I could try and be myself and see what happends
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
no because im meant to be okay
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
probably not
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
try and be yourself and get the help you deserve
I smile when im being fake (99% of the time)
Why is it a secret?
Because im meant to be okay
What are your feelings about this secret?
I hate that I have to pretend to be happy but i dont really have a choice
Why are you telling this secret now?
I feel annoyed that I cant be myself
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I could try and be myself and see what happends
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
no because im meant to be okay
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
probably not
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
try and be yourself and get the help you deserve
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KittyCath
- creating your space
- Posts: 211
- Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2007 1:40 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: Florida
- Contact:
MY SECRET
What is your secret? I was raped at work last Febuary, I am a nurse and it was one of the doctors I work with. I work with him on a daily basis. He makes fun of me, he verbally attacks me, he demoralizes me further. He constantly touches me when I am scrubbed in during surgery.
My secret is life changing, I dont know how to share this with a person face to face. I am more comfortable here so this is it.
Why is it a secret? It will affect my children and my husband.
What are your feelings about this secret? Guilt, shame, isolated, It has made me a liar.
Why are you telling this secret now? I dont think I can live with it anymore. It is draining the life out of my spirit.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better? If I shared this secret with those that I love then maybe I could start living instead of being held captive by this.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it? Yes
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?Yes, my life is so complicated, I have children and a husband. We are Catholic and my husband is a deacon. If I disclose this secret this will ruin him. This doesn't just affect me, it affects everyone I love.
What would you say to someone else with this secret? Dont let it go as far as I have. Tell immediately and call police.
My secret is life changing, I dont know how to share this with a person face to face. I am more comfortable here so this is it.
Why is it a secret? It will affect my children and my husband.
What are your feelings about this secret? Guilt, shame, isolated, It has made me a liar.
Why are you telling this secret now? I dont think I can live with it anymore. It is draining the life out of my spirit.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better? If I shared this secret with those that I love then maybe I could start living instead of being held captive by this.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it? Yes
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?Yes, my life is so complicated, I have children and a husband. We are Catholic and my husband is a deacon. If I disclose this secret this will ruin him. This doesn't just affect me, it affects everyone I love.
What would you say to someone else with this secret? Dont let it go as far as I have. Tell immediately and call police.
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Draco Malfoy.
- meeting the neighbors
- Posts: 355
- Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2007 6:24 pm
- Location: Hogwarts
- Contact:
What is your secret? I think I like girls as well as boys. I think I'm in love with one of my best friends.
Why is it a secret? Because they have openly attacked lesbians. And I'm scared.
What are your feelings about this secret? Confused. Angry. Ashamed.
Why are you telling this secret now? Becasue it's getting harder and harder to keep it to myself. And to watch her, and know that it can never ever happen, and she can never know.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better? Ignore her. But that would make it worse?
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it? No. Never.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret? No, Other people will have similar ones, but not this particular one, I don't think.
What would you say to someone else with this secret? Tell someone. Tell me. Haha, I'll listen. I don't know, hold on in there. Keep going strong?
Why is it a secret? Because they have openly attacked lesbians. And I'm scared.
What are your feelings about this secret? Confused. Angry. Ashamed.
Why are you telling this secret now? Becasue it's getting harder and harder to keep it to myself. And to watch her, and know that it can never ever happen, and she can never know.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better? Ignore her. But that would make it worse?
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it? No. Never.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret? No, Other people will have similar ones, but not this particular one, I don't think.
What would you say to someone else with this secret? Tell someone. Tell me. Haha, I'll listen. I don't know, hold on in there. Keep going strong?
What is your secret?
I hate all the people that are my 'friends'.
I haven't liked them since I stopped using... They seem so childish to me now, it just makes me angry.
They don't even know reality.
Why is it a secret?
Because I feel forced to be their friends, everyone expects me to be 'with them', and so on.
I feel like I'll be judged if I'll tell it. And I will.
What are your feelings about this secret?
It's one of the main things in my life... especially around December, when things in my life are getting glum anyways.
Why are you telling this secret now?
Because it NEEDS to get out, and it's either going to come out at them or at someone else.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I don't know. Maybe I'll try to be more friendly to them, instead of trying to be so withdrawn.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I have, but they thought, "Oh, PMS."
I don't know if I could tell anyone else right now.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
No. I really don't.
It probably happens to a lot of people.
It was in Ordinary People, too.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Try to tell someone not near them.
Tell me, I'll listen
I hate all the people that are my 'friends'.
I haven't liked them since I stopped using... They seem so childish to me now, it just makes me angry.
They don't even know reality.
Why is it a secret?
Because I feel forced to be their friends, everyone expects me to be 'with them', and so on.
I feel like I'll be judged if I'll tell it. And I will.
What are your feelings about this secret?
It's one of the main things in my life... especially around December, when things in my life are getting glum anyways.
Why are you telling this secret now?
Because it NEEDS to get out, and it's either going to come out at them or at someone else.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I don't know. Maybe I'll try to be more friendly to them, instead of trying to be so withdrawn.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I have, but they thought, "Oh, PMS."
I don't know if I could tell anyone else right now.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
No. I really don't.
It probably happens to a lot of people.
It was in Ordinary People, too.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Try to tell someone not near them.
Tell me, I'll listen
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lily_trying
- part of the fixtures
- Posts: 2613
- Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 12:17 pm
- Location: here. in my head.
- Contact:
****SU/SI related trigs (not graphic detail though)***********
What is your secret? ...That I'm tired, that I'm tired of fighting the urges, that I'm at the end of my tether, that I feel like giving up & that I'm scared of feeling unsafe.
Why is it a secret? ...I can't say it, I can't verbalize it to the people that are close to me. I try to just make jokes of it or drop hints, but I know that can't possibly be getting it across or being useful communicating. & Because I don't want anyone to worry about me, I'm enough of a worry... but mostly, just because I don't know how to open up and say it to them. & Because maybe I'm just afraid.
What are your feelings about this secret? Just drained, tired, feeling hopeless or helpless. Angry at myself for feeling this way when I know there are things that I love & care about & fight for. I feel like that should be enough & I'm angry that somehow it isn't right now. I'm starting to feel afraid of myself & my thoughts & feelings about all of this, and feeling extra cautious about being safe...
Why are you telling this secret now? I felt like this was the right place to verbalize it, maybe as a trial run to verbalize it to others as well. Because putting it out there makes me feel a bit released.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better? .....This is hard.... I could contact a friend, and hope that they could meet up with me so I wouldn't be alone... if they can't, then maybe I could figure out a back-up plan somehow so I don;'t feel rejected or alone if that happens... or if i don't feel too sick, i could try to get out & do things out that might be productive or fun or an escape from being stuck sick in bed... & if that can't happen, maybe use distractions...?
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it? ...I don't know... I could challenge myself at the very least to maybe at least hint at it but I don;t know if that is even the answer at this point, i need to be direct moreso probably... so... unsure, i guess. i want to but...
Do you think you are alone in having this secret? Logically, no, I don't think so. Emotionally, I might end up feeling that way now & then, but I know that it isn't the truth & can talk to myself logically otherwise...
What would you say to someone else with this secret? To talk further to someone about it, that it's understandable & ok to feel drained or overwhelmed... (I seem to have a block, though, on letting what I would say to someone else be what I say when I think about me...)
(PMs ok/welcome.... hope it's okay that I posted here...)
What is your secret? ...That I'm tired, that I'm tired of fighting the urges, that I'm at the end of my tether, that I feel like giving up & that I'm scared of feeling unsafe.
Why is it a secret? ...I can't say it, I can't verbalize it to the people that are close to me. I try to just make jokes of it or drop hints, but I know that can't possibly be getting it across or being useful communicating. & Because I don't want anyone to worry about me, I'm enough of a worry... but mostly, just because I don't know how to open up and say it to them. & Because maybe I'm just afraid.
What are your feelings about this secret? Just drained, tired, feeling hopeless or helpless. Angry at myself for feeling this way when I know there are things that I love & care about & fight for. I feel like that should be enough & I'm angry that somehow it isn't right now. I'm starting to feel afraid of myself & my thoughts & feelings about all of this, and feeling extra cautious about being safe...
Why are you telling this secret now? I felt like this was the right place to verbalize it, maybe as a trial run to verbalize it to others as well. Because putting it out there makes me feel a bit released.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better? .....This is hard.... I could contact a friend, and hope that they could meet up with me so I wouldn't be alone... if they can't, then maybe I could figure out a back-up plan somehow so I don;'t feel rejected or alone if that happens... or if i don't feel too sick, i could try to get out & do things out that might be productive or fun or an escape from being stuck sick in bed... & if that can't happen, maybe use distractions...?
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it? ...I don't know... I could challenge myself at the very least to maybe at least hint at it but I don;t know if that is even the answer at this point, i need to be direct moreso probably... so... unsure, i guess. i want to but...
Do you think you are alone in having this secret? Logically, no, I don't think so. Emotionally, I might end up feeling that way now & then, but I know that it isn't the truth & can talk to myself logically otherwise...
What would you say to someone else with this secret? To talk further to someone about it, that it's understandable & ok to feel drained or overwhelmed... (I seem to have a block, though, on letting what I would say to someone else be what I say when I think about me...)
(PMs ok/welcome.... hope it's okay that I posted here...)
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mikedemons
- growing roots
- Posts: 859
- Joined: Sun Dec 23, 2007 6:54 am
- Gender: male
- Location: Detroit,Mi.
- Contact:
What is your secret? i feel like it is si or su for me
Why is it a secret? becuse the people wanna see me get better think that i am and i dont want let them down
What are your feelings about this secret? its alot of pressuer on me and makes me ever sadder
Why are you telling this secret now? i need to vent it alittle bit some how becuse i am really stressed right now and need to get it out
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better? iyes i'm sure there is becuse i dont like any part of my secret
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it? i'm not sure if i can just verbly come out and say it i'm sure i can write it on paper and leave it laying around or maybe let someone read it. eather way its really hard to know that i am really letting everyone down becuse this how i feel inside
Do you think you are alone in having this secret? i could be i wont assume that i am or that i am not
What would you say to someone else with this secret? that help is out there
Why is it a secret? becuse the people wanna see me get better think that i am and i dont want let them down
What are your feelings about this secret? its alot of pressuer on me and makes me ever sadder
Why are you telling this secret now? i need to vent it alittle bit some how becuse i am really stressed right now and need to get it out
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better? iyes i'm sure there is becuse i dont like any part of my secret
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it? i'm not sure if i can just verbly come out and say it i'm sure i can write it on paper and leave it laying around or maybe let someone read it. eather way its really hard to know that i am really letting everyone down becuse this how i feel inside
Do you think you are alone in having this secret? i could be i wont assume that i am or that i am not
What would you say to someone else with this secret? that help is out there
Sometimes I feel like my sun as run away. Drifting from here to there and the feeling stays the same. The thoughts stay in my head and they always haunt me.......
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My place --->http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=120025
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My place --->http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=120025
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recovering4me
- spiffy maximus
- Posts: 4491
- Joined: Mon May 29, 2006 5:25 am
- Location: kansas Age:21
- Contact:
PMS AND REPLIES WELCOMED
What is your secret?
i just want to die right now, im tired of fighting, so tired.
Why is it a secret?
im to scared of going back to the hospital if i tell mandy
What are your feelings about this secret?
i shouldn't be feeling this way.
Why are you telling this secret now?
i needed to get it out.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
try and think about the positive things in my life instead of the negative
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
yeah. i could tell mandy on thursday when i see her.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
no. im sure plenty of people are tired of fighting just like i am.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
tell someone. don't give up the fight is worth it.
What is your secret?
i just want to die right now, im tired of fighting, so tired.
Why is it a secret?
im to scared of going back to the hospital if i tell mandy
What are your feelings about this secret?
i shouldn't be feeling this way.
Why are you telling this secret now?
i needed to get it out.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
try and think about the positive things in my life instead of the negative
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
yeah. i could tell mandy on thursday when i see her.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
no. im sure plenty of people are tired of fighting just like i am.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
tell someone. don't give up the fight is worth it.
Proud Member of NOB WHEATS
Not Old But We Hate Every and All Text Speak
Completely cut free since sometime in Aug, im not going back.
My Place
Sober since June 19
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
*grieving the loss of my little girl, Addie Leygh, RIP baby girl, mommy loves you*
Not Old But We Hate Every and All Text Speak
Completely cut free since sometime in Aug, im not going back.
My Place
Sober since June 19
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
*grieving the loss of my little girl, Addie Leygh, RIP baby girl, mommy loves you*
What is your secret?
I'm often overly jealous and not very trusting. Sometimes I trust certain people but don't trust anyone else around them, which leads to it seeming like I don't trust them.
Why is it a secret?
Because it would hurt people I'm close too.
What are your feelings about this secret?
It irritates me. I really do try not to be jealous, especially when there is no real need for it, but for some reason I can't help it. I do try to trust people but sometimes its hard. Honestly, I think that may come from the jealously too.
Why are you telling this secret now?
I just need to tell it somewhere, I'm sick of it just being with me.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I am working on it and I will certainly continue.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I could but I'm not sure that would be beneficial. This is more something I need to work on alone I think.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
I'm probably not the only person who feel like this.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Try to deal with it on your own. Ideally we should trust people until they give us a reason not too. Plus, jealously won't get you anywhere anyway so try to let that go.
I'm often overly jealous and not very trusting. Sometimes I trust certain people but don't trust anyone else around them, which leads to it seeming like I don't trust them.
Why is it a secret?
Because it would hurt people I'm close too.
What are your feelings about this secret?
It irritates me. I really do try not to be jealous, especially when there is no real need for it, but for some reason I can't help it. I do try to trust people but sometimes its hard. Honestly, I think that may come from the jealously too.
Why are you telling this secret now?
I just need to tell it somewhere, I'm sick of it just being with me.
Is this something you could change/ do differently tomorrow to make your life better?
I am working on it and I will certainly continue.
Could you challenge yourself to open up to someone about it?
I could but I'm not sure that would be beneficial. This is more something I need to work on alone I think.
Do you think you are alone in having this secret?
I'm probably not the only person who feel like this.
What would you say to someone else with this secret?
Try to deal with it on your own. Ideally we should trust people until they give us a reason not too. Plus, jealously won't get you anywhere anyway so try to let that go.
Last edited by smr89 on Wed Dec 26, 2007 9:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
smr89
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand under it."
1 Corinthians 10:13
God bless our troops! I love you guys! You are my heros!
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand under it."
1 Corinthians 10:13
God bless our troops! I love you guys! You are my heros!
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