Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
- have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
yep... - what had happened just before?
went out and had a long talk with my 'safe' person and came home
and felt no better... - what were you thinking and feeling?
thinking that if i could hurt myself so very much then nothing
can hurt me...feeling very out of it and very out of control... - why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
i felt i had no other way of letting go of the hurt that i have been
feeling since last night...the last straw was the very last phone call
today from someone telling me that 'it was all my fault and my
problem'... - how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
- were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
no - what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
i tried talking to my 'safe' person, i tried walking for hours, i tried
journaling, i tried distracting myself by watching tv...they, unfortunately,
didn't work at all... - in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
i don't know - name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
- how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
no, it is not resolved, and i am not sure if it will be soon...i have been
taking alot of steps to try and resolve it...calling legal aid, my 'safe'
person...i have made a lot of phone calls trying to work toward
resolution...
- are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
probably...the uncontrollable crying, the feeling of hopelessness...
- what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
talking to my 'safe' person, calling my doctor, reading through my
journal to remind me that it isn't my fault what is happening...
About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
- What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
- Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
- What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
- If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
- What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
- If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
After You Beat an Urge
How do you beat your urges? Examine how you beat the last one so it can help you beat the next one.
- Did I identify what feelings were leading me to want to SI?
yes, i knew what the feelings were... - If Yes - What were they, and how did I figure them out?
feel like everything would be better if i wasn't around anymore...
have been on the phone 'fighting' and 'arguing' something that
i was being blamed for and something i thought was taken care of,
only to find out different yesterday... - What coping skills did I use to deal with these feelings?
i tried talking to my 'safe' person, tried talking to everyone that i
could to straighten things out but it seemed to only make things
worse...i went for a long walk, i went to my hiding place and wrote
in my journal for hours...i did everything i could think of to try
and cope...but they didn't work... - Were these coping skills the most effective I could have used?
i guess not... - If No - What coping skills got me through?
none of my coping skills worked this time... - Why do I think they worked?
- How can I deal with these feelings more effectively next time, before the urge to SI sets in?
i'm not sure...these feelings sent me spiraling no matter what i tried, no matter what coping skill i used...
