before

[idork]

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
thoughts will shut up

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
i won't feeling fing worthless anymore, i'll forget for a little bit

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
bad, scared that ill get caught, not sure

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
umm... not sure how long it will last... probally do another one of these threads

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
go for a drive, watch a movie... a couple hours, i'll try to sleep

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
scared that i'll get caught, i dont know

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
i dont know.... *sigh*


Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
im fing worthless, a failure, have too much to worry about, I'm tired of trying... but I'm not strong enough to kill myself, being told that I can't do anything

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
yes, either cut or distracted myself

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
listen to music, post on here, talk to people

How do I feel right now?
tired, dizzy, hungry, anxious, like I want to cry but the tears aren't coming

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
I'll forget, the goal is I WONT feel....

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
scared ill get caught

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
not really, the stressors involve my future

Do I need to hurt myself?
I don't think it's ever a need, more of a want and a desire

[idork]

I changed the title because I haven't SIed... and am feeling slightly better, still very urgy, I don't have a tool right near me so I'm not likely to follow through with the urge

[ChaseThisLight]

I'm glad you went through and filled out the Before questions. I hope that it was beneficial for you. Not having tools around is a very good way to avoid acting on urges. I know i find it helpful and much less of a temptation. I can relate to SIing to get your brain to turn off. My suggestion is trying to do something consuming and mind encompassing. One of my hobbies is computers, and when I'm feeling urgy or like nothing in my head will stop, I find something to fix or work on. Perhaps you can find something like that to consume you in a good way.

[idork]

Yeah, I'm working on trying to find some distractions for me. I still have a little urge, but nothing I can't handle. I made it through, and now I'm heading to bed. I took a drive, returned a movie, got coffee, watched TV, exercised a little. Now... I wonder which of those actually helped hehe. Now I'm going to work on getting to sleep...