Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
- southsider
- building community
- Posts: 694
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2002 6:20 am
I would really like to write you an email about all the stuff that's been going on in my life because I know you'd understand.
However, I don't want to intrude.
I wish you could open up to me.
I miss you.
However, I don't want to intrude.
I wish you could open up to me.
I miss you.
☼ there is hope ☼
place
"If you really want to stay clean, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse."
- HakunaMatata
- one of us
- Posts: 6860
- Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2005 8:30 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: See that place in the distance? Not there!
I love you.
Ache-me se for capaz HM's place- everyone welcome but please read first post!
'Love is worth everything. How much are you willing to risk?'~Umara, gone forever, forgotten never.
'You can't put a price on happiness. Follow your dreams'~ Mithz
I don't like country and western. I don't like rock music, I don't like rockabilly or rock and roll particularly. I don't like much, really, do I? But what I do like, I love passionately. ~ The Pet Shop Boys
- caged bird
- board admin emeritus
- Posts: 22909
- Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2002 2:51 pm
- Location: UK Age 24
- Contact:
i want to tell you but i son't know why, idon't know what it would achieve (alther than to risk things changing between us) but, i dunno i guess i need you to know how bad i was. at the same time i kinda hope you don't call, i don't know what i'm supposed to say
Being almost devastated is horrible because it lingers. But total devastation brings a kind of peace. It lets you give up.
Thieves and Kings: Volume Two by Mark Oakly
The line between normal and crazy seemed impossibly thin. A person would have to be an expert tightrope walker in order not to fall.
Running with scissors - Augusten Burroughs
- fadingbutterfly
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3198
- Joined: Sat Aug 25, 2007 9:34 pm
I know you wrote it months ago, that you were attracted to guys, when you told me you weren't. I know you want me but I'm still scared and I have that comment in my head everyday that you are wanting them and not me. I know I'm being paranoid, but please reassure me that it's not true and it's just my mind?
- HakunaMatata
- one of us
- Posts: 6860
- Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2005 8:30 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: See that place in the distance? Not there!
M: I need you right now. And it's hurting me that you're hurting but I'm hurting too much myself to be of any use.
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I just wish there was some-one to talk to now, about anything, to keep me distracted from how ill I feel.
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I just wish there was some-one to talk to now, about anything, to keep me distracted from how ill I feel.
Ache-me se for capaz HM's place- everyone welcome but please read first post!
'Love is worth everything. How much are you willing to risk?'~Umara, gone forever, forgotten never.
'You can't put a price on happiness. Follow your dreams'~ Mithz
I don't like country and western. I don't like rock music, I don't like rockabilly or rock and roll particularly. I don't like much, really, do I? But what I do like, I love passionately. ~ The Pet Shop Boys
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- creating your space
- Posts: 213
- Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2007 3:08 am
- Location: Near something shiny.
- southsider
- building community
- Posts: 694
- Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2002 6:20 am
I fucking hate you for doing what you did and planting the seed of self-doubt in my head. Fuck you. All these years later. Fuck you.
☼ there is hope ☼
place
"If you really want to stay clean, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse."
*SA*
After all these years, I can't get you out. I can't think of you without remembering what you did, and I can't sleep at night. I remember how good you were, you were the best older brother in the world- and you were the only person who could cheer me up. I always tell myself it wasn't your fault, that you were sick, and maybe you couldn't help yourself. The therapist said that no one does it just because of OCD. Just what I needed, you know? Another seed of doubt. Another reason to be confused about what happened, and why it happened. I don't know why you would have wanted to do anything like that to your little sister. Sometimes I'm so angry at you, for hurting me like that, but I still love you. I still love you.
I have no one to talk to anymore. And I can't stop remembering. The spring you left I was so numb, I didn't know what to do, and he was so angry with me. I'm sorry I let it come out. I'm sorry I couldn't forget about it. I'm sorry that now you can't come home, that now you wait for your life to get back on track, but god damnit you're NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT HURT. You know, when I was younger I used to cry at night because I was so scared, I used to rock back and forth, block up the door with laundry baskets and cover myself with quilts to try and stay safe. And now I find my life on hold, I can't remember how to care, how to want to get up in the morning. And I can't help but blame you.
I can't help but think you took something away from me. I'm sorry you ruined it. And I'm sorry, because you're my brother, and I'm supposed to be there for you. But you were supposed to be there for me.
After all these years, I can't get you out. I can't think of you without remembering what you did, and I can't sleep at night. I remember how good you were, you were the best older brother in the world- and you were the only person who could cheer me up. I always tell myself it wasn't your fault, that you were sick, and maybe you couldn't help yourself. The therapist said that no one does it just because of OCD. Just what I needed, you know? Another seed of doubt. Another reason to be confused about what happened, and why it happened. I don't know why you would have wanted to do anything like that to your little sister. Sometimes I'm so angry at you, for hurting me like that, but I still love you. I still love you.
I have no one to talk to anymore. And I can't stop remembering. The spring you left I was so numb, I didn't know what to do, and he was so angry with me. I'm sorry I let it come out. I'm sorry I couldn't forget about it. I'm sorry that now you can't come home, that now you wait for your life to get back on track, but god damnit you're NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT HURT. You know, when I was younger I used to cry at night because I was so scared, I used to rock back and forth, block up the door with laundry baskets and cover myself with quilts to try and stay safe. And now I find my life on hold, I can't remember how to care, how to want to get up in the morning. And I can't help but blame you.
I can't help but think you took something away from me. I'm sorry you ruined it. And I'm sorry, because you're my brother, and I'm supposed to be there for you. But you were supposed to be there for me.
- DecemberLivy
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7474
- Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2004 10:38 am
- Location: London
L: I can't express how much I pity you. Not only are you a liar but a hypocrite too. What gives you the right to pick people up and drop them whenever it suits you? You have no respect for anyones feelings. I can't believe you'd have the nerve to tell such lies about me behind my back, to my friends. Did you really not think it wouldn't get back to me? You are a sad, sad little girl and if I'm perfectly honest, a waste of space. You just can't handle the fact that S liked me, not you, so you go about bitch about me stealing him. Get over yourself, the universe does not revolve around you and your stupid opinions.
And give me back my fucking spray paint, you thieving wanker.
And give me back my fucking spray paint, you thieving wanker.
<center>my walpole cafe
"My life's a mess"
"That's the way it's supposed to be" - soap -
</center>
I think I'll paint roads
on my front room walls
to convince myself
that I'm going places.
"My life's a mess"
"That's the way it's supposed to be" - soap -
</center>
I think I'll paint roads
on my front room walls
to convince myself
that I'm going places.
- pelagic
- sock rocker
- Posts: 3615
- Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2007 8:16 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: International Waters
you make me feel so fucking alone and worthless, i fucking hate how you are treating me right now and how you are pushing me lower than fucking before. AND STAY AWAY FROM MY FUCKING FRIEND, FUCK OFF, FUCK YOU, DONT YOU DARE SAY THAT SHIT TO HER AGAIN. YOU ARE NOBODY, YOU ARE NO ONE TO ME AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO MAKE HER FEEL SO SMALL, AND MAKE HER FEEL SO..LARGE. FUCK YOU. FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU!!!
and im so stressed out because of you that i cant fix my siggy because i feel like im going to fucking cry FUCK!
and i dont want to go back to where i was before...
and i swear to your god that you must hate me, and yet you always call me and always invite me over and always say how fun it was last time, why do you do this? ar eyou lying to me, mocking me, or do you truly enjoy my company? whatever the reason...thank you, without you i would not be two weeks SI-Free.
and im so stressed out because of you that i cant fix my siggy because i feel like im going to fucking cry FUCK!
and i dont want to go back to where i was before...
and i swear to your god that you must hate me, and yet you always call me and always invite me over and always say how fun it was last time, why do you do this? ar eyou lying to me, mocking me, or do you truly enjoy my company? whatever the reason...thank you, without you i would not be two weeks SI-Free.
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