Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I can escape the pain I'm in for a little - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
Escape more than anything I think, it will bring more pain, but pain that at least I know where it's coming from and it will go away - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I'm just so frustrated, I want to know whats going on and I don't want to wait till friday and actually longer - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
a few min, maybe till I go to sleep. If I can fall asleep then yeah, but in the morning I will be in the same place generally speaking and urgy again when I have time alone. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Watch TV and make some hot chocolate or tea. Maybe also long enough to go to sleep and figure something out tomorrow - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
upset if I hurt myself, if I do something else I won't at least be upset with myself for giving in. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
Been feeling cruddy for a while but got especially worse lately... long story made an appointment where I got blood drawn and they didn't find anything, going to see regular doc and ask to see a neurologist but can't do that till friday. I want answers now, it's selfish and unrealistic but truthful. I'm afraid if I go in to work either no one will believe me or the other extreme and make a huge fuss and send me home. Plus I've been trying to get homework done and can't think and concentrate to do it, and it's easy work too not even something that takes much thinking. - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
not this bad, and now other people know and are making me take care of myself (actually I'm fairly proud of myself for letting others in, and although protesting partially, it is a good step to accept help) - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
Took a nice warm shower, took tylenol and a sleeping pill (lowest dose possible) - How do I feel right now?
Getting sorta tired, upset though still. Feeling a little better because I did realise I did something good by accepting help - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
numb - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
upset, differently though, now I'm upset because of frustration, after hurting myself upset because I could find something else - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
Hopefully I can find a better way to deal with it if this is going to be a battle with health insurance and all. There are ways I just don't know yet - Do I need to hurt myself?
Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.
