before

[wilson]

* how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

i will feel better. i will feel more incontrol of my life right now.

* what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

it will stop me thinking for the moment. make me feel more relaxed. although it is getting hotter so i will have to wear longer sleeves and get questions

* how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

i dont know anything at the moment only this present time matters. so i dont know

* if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

for a few hours tonight. depends on how far i go.

* how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

i honestly dont care about tomorrow at the moment i care about now

* what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

i want to feel pain. something. i want to regain control in my life even if its just tonight.

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer


* Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?

thinking. defending myself today. feeling very intimidated. and nervous [irl people]

* Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?

i slipped up. or s came over.

* How do I feel right now?
useless alone, pathetic, worried, alone, attacked, did i mention alone

* How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
relived

* How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
nothing. the same as anyother morning i wake up.

* Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
nope its just this time of year

* Do I need to hurt myself?
yes