~After~

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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Roxi
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~After~

Post by Roxi » Wed Oct 10, 2007 3:26 pm

* have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
All taken care of....
* what had happened just before?
Nothing much actually, had just come home from school.
* what were you thinking and feeling?
I slipped last night after 28 days of not cutting, so i felt kind of guilty and thought that it wouldnt matter if i did it again. I was feeling hopeless b/c of yesterday's slip. I was thinking about how much work (assignments, homework and studying for end of year exams) i have and how little inclination i have to do it all. and just generally anxixious and overwhelmed after a tough day at school.
* why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
Well my slip last night... and I am alone, so the opportunity sort of presented itself

* how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.

Well tracing it back to what made me slip last night. I just hadnt cut in such a long time. I was feeling stressed, overwhelmed, tired, and hungry and frustrated. I could have managed my time better to avoid stress, eaten and slept more.

* were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?

Lack of sleep and food. I should try to go to sleep earlier and make sure i eat regularly even when i'm stressed and don't feel like it

* what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?

I didnt try any- i usually do but today and yesterday, i didnt -i just gave in

* in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?

drawing, writing, baking, having a warm bath, excersizing, phoning a friend,squeezing and throwing ice-cubes and such...

* name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
am really not sure what i can do to remember them- i always remember them, wheter i choose to use them or not is another story...



* how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
I feel upset that i gave in, yet also somewhat relieved. I still feel stressed
and overwhelmed and arggg! I just cant seem to consicely say what i want
to say, i keep having to delete it all b/c my thoughts are ao scattered and
incoherent...

* are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?

Most definately yes. Well, i will know how i feel now compared to how i will feel in the future (no that doesnt make sense when typed:-? i do know that i should sort of "check in" with myself and my emotions every so often just to register and be conscious of how i'm feeling

* what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.

Writing down how i feel, Read a book to distract myself or phone a friend

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We are the girls with anxiety disorders, filled appointment books, five-year plans. We take ourselves very, very seriously. We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers. We are on time, overly prepared, well read, and witty, intellectually curious, always moving… We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are on birth control, Prozac, and multivitamins… We are relentless, judgmental with ourselves, and forgiving to others. We are the daughters of the feminists who said, “You can be anything,” and we heard, “You have to be everything." - Courtney Martin.

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ChaseThisLight
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Post by ChaseThisLight » Fri Oct 12, 2007 3:54 am

It's easy to fall into despair when you're not getting good sleep and eating regularly/healthily. Those things are very important to your basic physical health which has a huge effect on your mental health. I hope you can get those sorted out and start getting some good sleep.
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Cuz' you know, I don't do sadness

No one controls your destiny. Even at the very worst - there is always choice - Gregory Maguire Wicked

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