Cutting and Childhood disipline

rinski01 · Post by **rinski01** » Mon Oct 01, 2007 4:40 am

I think I figured out another important reason I cut myself. To punish myself for what I do wrong. It stems from parenting that is for punishing and not just teaching. Spanking in particular I feel influenced this. When u do something wrong you get hurt. Then as u become an adult you sometimes tell yourself Idiot, that was stupid, or when u get mad physically demonstrate anger because when mom and dad were angry with you you got spanked. You seek to repeat this pattern to make your guilt better. I feel religion also combined with spanking can lead people to feel negative about themselves when they mess up instead of focusing on positively doing something about what they didn't do quite right. It direct kids to focus on feeling shame, bad about themselves instead of feeling like they could improve and how can they get there.

breathing · Post by **breathing** » Mon Oct 01, 2007 2:37 pm

When I was younger, I was spanked often. I used to want to kill my mother. I used to wake up and imagine killing her. And I wanted those things to happen, but I didn't want to envision them every living moment.

(OCD - Injury-type, but I didn't know that then.)

I was so scared that I was going to hurt her one day that I just started hurting myself to release the tension. I've been cutting for almost four years.

Spanking kids releases the parent's anger, and the child is left to feel ashamed, while the child's anger is slowly bottled up. You just never know how it's going to be released.

-jennifer

plantt · Post by **plantt** » Tue Oct 02, 2007 6:44 am

I vote "other"

NobodyToYou · Post by **NobodyToYou** » Tue Oct 02, 2007 5:31 pm

I voted yes, because I was occassionally spanked and because I SI.

But please don't use my experience to support this theory, as it really doesn't fit...I was never spanked in anger. I always got the "long talk" before and the spanking, making sure I understood what I had done wrong and how to not do it again, and getting the "hug and cry" session afterwards which included lots of reassurance that I was accepted even with my bad behaviors.
While I can understand that others have had very different experiences, I strongly disagree with some of the statements here if someone is trying to apply them to me...they just don't fit my experience and don't fairly characterize the discipline I recieved as a child. So...yes to both questions, but no to the proposed link between them.

MusicalMorphine · Post by **MusicalMorphine** » Wed Oct 03, 2007 6:08 pm

I don't think I was hit much. But I do remember taking a few hit's from my mum. I'm not sure if it's related though.

Neviah · Post by **Neviah** » Wed Oct 03, 2007 7:14 pm

i got the odd smack on the bum as a child but i dont think there's a link with me.

Beasty · Post by **Beasty** » Wed Oct 03, 2007 9:26 pm

I was spanked but I definately deserved it then. I was a little snit

I know that might is not related

5th section · Post by **5th section** » Fri Oct 05, 2007 7:20 pm

I remember being threatened with it a lot but I don't remember it actually happening. Can't have made much of an impression. I very much doubt if it's contributed to my SI.

Rakshasa · Post by **Rakshasa** » Sat Oct 06, 2007 10:54 pm

Yes, I do self-injure and I was spanked/struck occassionally as a child, but I don't see the two as correlated for me. In my case, being in a family environment that was emotionally unsafe and invalidating was a bigger factor. Still, that's just me -- we're all different and we all have unique factors playing into our SI.

poisontongue · Post by **poisontongue** » Mon Oct 08, 2007 6:12 am

I was spanked as a child, albeit super rarely, so the two don't share a connection with me either. I can see where you're coming from though, my mom didn't get angry at me often because I was the the good one, and discipline slacked. If they had repeatedly done it out of their own anger without any reason, just repeated guilt...

It was more the environment in which I was raised that has led me to SI.

Silver_Kitsune · Post by **Silver_Kitsune** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 1:28 am

Growing up, my parents were pretty much emotionally distant, and never really cared about how I felt. If I did something wrong, I'd get hit. If I did it again, I'd get hit by a belt. Sometimes when I feel I've done something bad or something that my parents would punish me for, I SI and punish myself so they don't have to.

I think it was the environment that I was raised in that contributed the most to my SI behavior. I've lived with my mother for almost 10 years now, and she still doesn't care about how I feel. It doesn't bother me anymore because I hate her anyway.

pelagic · Post by **pelagic** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 1:34 am

I voted 'yes', but I do not feel spanking and SIing is connected in my case.

divine · Post by **divine** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 2:41 am

I voted no. While I can see that there can be connection in some cases, I was never spanked. I think, maybe once. That's like, it. And I laughed. Because it didn't hurt. So, I don't see a connection.

Chaocontrol6 · Post by **Chaocontrol6** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 7:22 am

In my opinion I feel the answer is no, I wasn't spanked as a child, more just yelled at I guess, but that did the trick, however in my own case I don't feel that helped contribute to me SI-ing

bus

Cutting and Childhood disipline

Where u spanked as a child and also SI?

Cutting and Childhood disipline

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