slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
- have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Yep I have - what had happened just before?
I feel like I snapped - what were you thinking and feeling?
I felt numb and wanted to feel something - why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
I needed to feel something....even if it was pain....
- how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
I have been thinking about my situations and my T made me write about it and it triggered me. - were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
Lack of sleep....I dont sleep well ever. - what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I tried talking to a friend. It worked for alittle bit but had to finially give into the urge. - in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
I could have tried playing my violin or flute - name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
Music and Canon (it makes sence to me) - how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
I feel mostly ashamed and guilty.......I am still numb though.
- are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Yes and I know when I am numb but I.....i feel like I space out and I cant stop it.
- what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
Playing music, Hugging my dog or playing with her, taking a long hot bath.
About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
- What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
It would make me feel - Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
It was there for the taking - What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
I would have started getting obsessive compulsive (pacing, washing hands, locking doors etc.) - If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
Increased. If there is no opportunity, I want it more it sees like - What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
Being alone, and waiting for the spacey feeling to hit me - If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
I would get antsy....that is when I see my OCD
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sigh....this is hard.....I am flustered that I gave in!
