write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
i will calm my feelings, and feel in control. i will stop myself caring about things which will help me stay calmer in the next few weeks. (nothing in particular to cope with in the next few weeks, just life
) - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
bring - a quick solution
take - my 1 month free - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
i don't know. i can't get a fix on the future, like i can't believe i'll be alive in a week/month/etc. for right now the consequences of si don't matter. - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
the relief might last a few days? i want to watch a tv show that is on in a few min and that will distract me for an hr. but i will probably be more triggered by the end of it and more likely to si if i don't calm down asap. if i si it won't matter so much about coping cos i will be less stressed just from not trying to stop. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
breathe. watch the ads or news break til the tv show is on. try and relax instead of working myself up. remind myself i can go to bed in an hr or 2 and then it won't matter anyway. - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
if i si, i'll feel crap tomorrow. if i don't i'll feel urgy, maybe sad/frustrated. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
i want to keep to my goal of 5wks. if i can do that i might continue healthy stuff instead of wanting si as much. - Do I need to hurt myself?
not really, no.
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