after :(

[thisshallbeformusic]

wow. haven't done this in a good while. sheesh.
* have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
-yeah, they're pretty superficial, so i'm good

* what had happened just before?
-anxiety was really bad. anxiety of wanting to cut very severe and not going away

* what were you thinking and feeling?
-thinking-i don't know how i'm going to continue to resist. i'm in distress. i'm tired of fighting, right now, i don't care. feeling-apathetic, anxious, tired, irritated, scared

* why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
-then was my best oppertunity and i tried other coping methods, they weren't working 1st week of school stress, mom has been harping on me columnation of manythings

* how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
-i could have just laid in bed and waited to fall asleep, but nothing anxiety has been keeping me up and i didn't want to have that feeling

* were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
-no, i refuse to si when drinking b/c i'm not truly in control of my decision at that point

* what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
-went to distractions forum, played games, pet the bird, read Oedipus, read psych book, even the 15 min. game. they did not work at all, they just prolonged my anxiety

* in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
-writing, relaxation techniques, paint my nails

* name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
-write them down, put them in places i frequent, leave nail polish laying around

* how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
-don't really have any feelings one way or another. it's resolved for the time being. i'll have to call my pdoc and talk about meds w/him. going to speak w/counselor as well

* are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
-yeah, when i go to bed tonight, i have physical symptoms

* what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
take propranolol, write, prayer