confession... *SA*

[briochick]

Yes, that makes perfect sense. I've never been shy about my body, except when people compliment it (and see there, i think of my body as separate from me. healthy?). I think that, yes, what happened to you might have somethign to do with your discomfort, esp. if you think it might. I just hope you can find some relief. You're wonderful. Also, it's ok to hate the person who did this to you, but eventually you'll have to see them as human too, but that doesn't need to happen right now. just take care of yourself right now. ok?

[Librariana]

I would not be surprised at all if he hated me for what I did, and I wouldn't blame him in the slightest. He has every right, just as you do. You are not required to feel empathy for your abuser. Right now, you should probably be screaming in rage and venting. Later on in life, I was abused, and I did that.

No...you are totally in the right...and your abuser is morally required to feel empathy for you. I don't know if that will happen, but I hope it does.

[Quiet little Angel]

hating her is just very very difficult for me... i think it might have somehting to do with my christian upbringing... a part of me does hate her, but another, very big part, keeps saying she was only a child and that she's a person too... and that i shouldn't hate her for it...
but she knew very well what she was doing, i know that, so i guess that justifies hating her?? also i can't help thinking she might have been SA'd by her dad... i know a lot of us had that suspicion back then, including some parents... does that justify what she did?

it's all just very very confusing...

i don't think she'll ever apologize... and that's really ok... i don't want her to, because i don't want to see her... i think it'd just make everything that much more real...

[Librariana]

No, no, NO! There is NEVER a justification for SA. EVER. Don't let your head go there. If you start making excuses for what someone else did to you, the next thing you know, you'll start subconsciously taking on part of the blame for it. And it WAS NOT your fault. Adult rape victims do that a lot; they take on the guilt for what was clearly NOT their fault.

The kid, even though she was a child at the time, KNEW it was wrong. I KNEW it was wrong. Otherwise, why would it have to be a secret?

Take care of you.

[vampire_kisses]

I agree, it wasn't justifiable.
It was wrong!
Even if she was SA'd herself, she knew it was wrong.
It doesn't matter that she was young herself, what she did to you was WRONG.
I see it's hard for you to hate her, and that's okay.
It's just that sometimes you need to send your hate somewhere, and sometimes it goes towards someone who doesn't deserve the hate, like you.
Always remember, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't right. What she did to you was NOT okay, and it wasn't your fault.
Never forget that.
<3 Dee

[Quiet little Angel]

i think my problem is that what you're saying makes perfect sence... but it's so hard to get there in my head... i've been getting so used to these thoughts... i think... it's hard to actually blame her for this... i know i should... but my mind keeps disagreeing with me... i feel like a horrible person for hating a little girl... because, well, that's what i should... in my head she'll never grow up... even though i went to school with her for so long after... they're two different persons in my head... i don't think i've seen her since the 8'th grade, so ofcause i don't know how i'd react, but i don't think i'd really be affected by it... she's not the person who did this... it was the little her who did... does that make sence?

[Quiet little Angel]

moving sucks... found pictures... old ones... from back then... there's that girl just smiling back at me... all innocent... it's not fair...