after

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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sockr28
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after

Post by sockr28 » Wed Aug 01, 2007 4:33 am

  • have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
    yes
  • what had happened just before?
    just a lot of things building up. dealing with a lot of stress from family and friends having problems. feel like i have to be there for them, but dont know where to turn myself. then just a shitty day at work put it over the edge.
  • what were you thinking and feeling?

    felt like i just needed a release. falling back on it to help cope.
  • were there outside factors like drugs, alcohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
    alcohol actually wasnt a facture, like normal.
  • what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
    tried to stay busy at work, stayed longer. talked to roomies, but i couldnt talk about what was bothering me, so it was just postponing it, i guess.
  • in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
    not really sure. wish that i knew the answer to this.
  • how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
    not resolved. i guess i need to find someone to talk to. some way to release the hurt and emotions that i still have.

  • are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
    yes. hopefully i can remember this time.

  • what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
depending on the situation, talk to a friend, exercise or jeep busy with other activities (movie, journal, etc.)

About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
  • What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?

    i was in the bathroom about to take a shower, so i was alone. roommates didnt notice.
  • Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
    it was there
  • What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
    probably would have just waited until there is one. the thoughts have been here for a while. just waited for the right time. tried to distract myself until then.
  • If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
    it did increase until i had the opportunity
  • What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
    being alone and having tools
  • If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
more desparate. like i needed it more

After You Beat an Urge
How do you beat your urges? Examine how you beat the last one so it can help you beat the next one.

Did I identify what feelings were leading me to want to SI?
yes, hopelessness and loneliness

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LBC
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Post by LBC » Thu Aug 02, 2007 12:44 am

Hi sockr28

I hope you're doing okay.

Just a couple of questions...do you think that if you'd been able to talk with your roommates about the stress you're were experiencing(or with another person you trust), you'd been able to get through the urge or postpone it? Is there someone who knows what's going on that you could call next time, or would you be comfortable calling a crisis line?

Or do you have a journal? Sometimes writing out your feelings in a journal or a letter (that you don't have to send if you don't want to) can really help.

There's a great post in Sourcebook on distractions, if you're looking for some ideas...

Take gentle care.

:1paw:
If you believe everyone is the future
If you believe that nothing ever goes wrong
If you believe that deep down inside you're really falling apart
Know that everybody's weak and everyone can be strong. - Sloan

You always have a choice.

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