I feel ashamed about this - Problems with personal hygiene.

[eerie_me]

Ok

This is shameful - I dont find it easy to have a shower or clean my teeth.

I can do it...just about if my husband is there with me and helps me...but he often forgets about it because he is tired. And i have a problem with asking for things (t makes me feel really guilty). Sometimes it goes 2 weeks without me having a shower or cleaning my teeth! Crikey...that sounds bad when its down on paper!

I'm trying to work out why I have this problem. I have found it so difficult to do it for years...since I can remember. If i try to do it i get sooo unbelievably anxious.

I thought maybe it might have to do with an 'incident' not that bad, i dont think, when i was young and I saw my dad coming out of the shower with an erection. Yikes! And maybe I have associated that awful and embarassing sight with the bathroom.

I dont know. I was hoping there was someone who could shed some light on the subject.

Take care, love n hugs from Nat xxxx

[VowsOfSadness]

I used to have a hard time with hygene when I was depressed. I just couldnt get myself to get up and do it.

[mallie]

I don't think that is shameful.

I know that when I get depressed, these things slip, a lot. For me, partly it is a lack of energy/motivation to do them. There are other issues as well, but thats probably the main one.

What I have found, is that is that I usually do feel a bit better if I make myself do it. I'll spend days putting it off because I can't bear the thought of it, but when I finally do it, it helps just a little.

Pushing yourself to do it, even though its uncomfortable can be a good thing, in terms of keeping it in your routine as much as you can.

Could you ask your husband to help you more with that? If you sit down to talk about it at a time that isn't when it would need acting on straight away, it could make it easier to ask (rather than saying "i need help now" it'd be more "can we plan this out").

I hope you get some good ideas.

Love Mallie.

[Licentia Poetica]

Try not to be ashamed.

I wanted to suggest that maybe you don't like doing these things because you feel your parents or someone else make it seems like you *have* to. My mum continually teases and jokes about me doing any kind of housework, eating certain types of food or even brushing my teeth or cleaning my room. Due to some kind of natural rebellion, I try to fight her on it everytime she tries to make me do something. So often I have to do these things in secret, or sometimes, I only do them when she *hasn't* told me to do them.

It's an idea, so I just wanted to throw that at you. I know that the first step to fixing a problem is understanding why it's happening. I hope you find the reason.

[balletomane]

That's definitely not something to be ashamed of.

At my most depressed, getting up to take a shower or brush my teeth was a struggle. The thing that really helped was, as Mallie suggested, having it as part of my routine.

Are there things you can do to make it part of your routine? Have a calendar where you record when you've showered/brushed your teeth? Set time aside every day?

Also, are there ways you can make these tasks more pleasant? Maybe take baths rather than showers or use scented soap? Or listen to music? Get good tasting toothpaste? Maybe if you make it more pleasant in that regard, you can start using it as time to relax and it will be a little easier.

I don't know if any of that is helpful, but they're just some things that work for me.

take care.

b

[Invisible777]

this is something I struggle a lot with. I live in a dorm and because of si I am very wary of what I do when...but brushing my teeth and showering seem to be things I just can't make myself do. Talking to my T about it helped some for a while, but now I am back to the old brush 1x per week type of thing I wish it wasn't the case but I can't seem to shake it. Any ideas would be great. I know part of it has to do with depression, but something else buggs me about it as well.
Thanks

[shaybear]

Don't be ashamed

I know that when I get really depressed that those things, like brushing my hair, my teeth and getting up and having a shower don't even come to mind.
It's just something that I can't do because when I'm depressed I don't care about myself or what other people think so I don't do these things. Which, if I were happy then I'd do those things so I'd be presentable.

But don't worry.
You said you didn't like asking for help, so maybe you could try just leaving a note for your husband to find and that would remind him.
It never hurts to try.

--Shaybear
Pm if you wanna talk!

[flicka]

can you make it part of your schedule with your husband? so you have time set off every day to brush your teeth together at night? and afterwards he'll remind you to take a shower? If you do it at the same time every night it'll soon become a habit and no longer an *event*.
Also, make it fun for yourself. get nice tasting toothpaste and your favorite scented shampoo and stuff. you'll find that you feel better when you're all spiffy.

good luck!

[Invisible777]

I am single. Kinda puts a damper on the whole help from husband thing...
Any other suggestions?

[flicka]

ask a friend to call you up and remind you? or someone in the dorm who you trust? again, just find ways to make it part of your routine... I'm at the point where if I don't shower in the morning I feel terrible all day... what may help is if you identify what specific aspect it is to showering/brushing that you don't like. when you find that out, you can work on that specifically. also, depending on your self control, don't let yourself go to bed without getting that done?

good luck!

[Poppies]

Just a thought... I work with children, and one way to encourage them is to make use of star-charts, or sticker charts.

If you make yourself a chart with the things you find 'difficult' on it - for example, teeth-cleaning, washing, showering........

Then you could go and choose yourself some stickers that you like... and you could put a sticker on the chart for each time you do these things.

You could even set yourself a reasonable time-limit - for example, a week - and if you complete a week on your chart, you could reward yourself with a treat.