I'm not sure if the situation will change if I hurt myself. The feeling I know will because I'll feel like I got what I deserved for doing a poor job on my work lately.
What will hurting myself bring to the situation? What will it take away from the situation?
Hurting myself right now would bring a lot of shame because I won't be si free anymore for 6 monthes and I would have be careful about people not seeing my wounds again. It would also make me feel relieved for a while and less guilty about doing a poor job on my school work and other stuff.
However it would take away my freedom to not hide anything but would also passify my urges at least for a while.
How do i want to feel about this in the long run? Is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I just want to feel like I'm somewhere familar and safe again. I want to feel organized and on top of things again and not stupid and scatter-brained. In the past si always made me feel like I was more on- top of things though I don't know if I was or not. I got better grades in school when I sied and I worked harder.
Right now it seems to me that si would improve my organization and ability to focus right now though I know in the long run it would just distract me from what I really want to accomplish in the future.
If hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
The relief will probably last through tomorrow at most and then I know I will feel like I have to si again. I know if I give in now I am going to put myself at greater risk of falling into a bad relapse again.
What is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I can go to bed now and sleep and ask for suggestions on the board on how to manage my time better and get organized. If I do that I will get to the root of my problems right now rather then just ignoring them and not doing anything to solve them.
If I do follow through on my plan to ask for help the changes I work to make should cause a significant decrease in the number of urges to si that I have in the future and help me to eventually catch up in life and school.
How will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I will feel deeply disappointed in myself and angery if I hurt myself right now. I will feel ashamed, relieved and more negative about myself then I did in the first place.
If I don't hurt myself and ask for help I will probably be frustrated about my slow progress but still proud of myself that I made it and stronger.
What do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I really don't want to si right now even though the urge is strong to. I can honor the self-protective instinct best right now by asking for help and support in getting organized and for encouragement.
More Before Questions To Answer
Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I feel so overwhelmed by all the tasks I have to do at school and home right now and my fincial situation. Since I quit si my grades have dropped and I've been having a hard time figuring out other ways besides si to overcome my tendency to procrastinate, panic and over focus on things.
I feel less organized, lonely and disappointed in myself. So many things have changed for me this year and I just feel overwhelmed by them. I've been trying so hard to live a balenced life but I don't feel like I'm making any progress and I'm discouraged. I'm trying to gain weight but can't, I'm getting C's in school, my schedule feels over packed and I'm at a loss as to how to take care of myself and yet be a good friend and family member at the same time.
In short I feel like I'm a failure and that the only way I'll ever be successful is if I'm a workaholic and if I si.
Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
I've felt like si before but never really for this reason so I'm not really sure how to deal with it effectively yet.
Last time I felt a little bit this way I tried to organize myself and read some health books to give me some ideas on how to start taking care of myself.What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
I've come here and wrote how I'm feeling in a journal. I've tried to get more organized on my own and set up a schedule. The only other two things I can think of to do are go to bed and ask for help here on BUS.
How do I feel right now?
Sad, discouraged, frustrated and hopeless.
How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
Enraged, sad, discouraged, hopeless and worthless.
How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
Worthless, depressed, disappointed, discouraged, angery, ashamed and frustrated maybe even su.
Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I can try and get more on top of things and try and allow myself more room to make mistakes.
Do I need to hurt myself?
No
