Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
i would be able to stop the thougts. - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it will take time away from being able to do something else. it will bring peace of mind. it will bring questions from my boyfriend and therapist and psychiatrist. it will help me. - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
hurting myself is not a feeling right now. it is just a thought. i don't feel anything about it except that i know it is wrong and that i shouldn't. the thoughts will not go away though. - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
the relief will last a while, possibly even weeks. when it comes up again, I will have to figure it out. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
i could do a list of many different things, but my mind will keep telling me to SI. the situation will not change, but hopefully my miind will. this could last a few weeks. - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
i will feel guilty. i will feel like a failure. i will want to SI more. i won't want to tell my boyfriend. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
i really want to SI right now. i just want to SI.
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
i feel like i need to hurt myself becasue i keep having disturbing intrusive thoughts about SI and the only way it will go away is to act them out. nothing else will help. - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
i have been here before. sometimes i have acted it out and the thoughts went away. sometimes i don't act them out and the thoughts stay with me for a few weeks or get re-triggered by some visual stimulus. - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
i have posted in a SI message board. i have told my therapist about my thoughts. i have spent all day outside and keeping busy. i am not sure what else to do. - How do I feel right now?
right now i feel like SI. - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
i will feel paranoid that someone will find out. i will feel satisfied that i have filled the compulsion. - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
i will feel ashamed and needy. i will feel like more SI. - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
there is no way to avoid this. - Do I need to hurt myself?
i hate saying it, but yes i do.
