Before

[quiet1]

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:


how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

*the situation will not change if i hurt myself. i will be distracted from my feelings of nervousness.



what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

*it won't bring anything to the situation, except more worry. It will prevent me from looking at my real problem.



how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

*In the long run i want to not be afraid of new things. Hurting myself is just going to pull me farther from my real feelings.




if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

*It will bring relief for a few minutes. after that i will feel guilty and spaced out. i will want to SI more.



what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

*i could clean my apartment instead of SI. That would be a good change.



how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

*i will want to hurt myself again tomorrow if i SI today. If i clean my apartment i will feel proud of myself today and tomorrow and the next day.



what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

* i am not sure i have a self-protective instinct. I think what i really want to do right now is get this appointment over with.


urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.



More Before Questions To Answer



Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?

*I feel like I need to hurt myself because i am nervous. i am nervous about an appointment tomorrow.

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
*I have been here before and i went and everything worked out ok. that time i was completely nervous and pissed off and I ended up hating the stupid psychdoc.


What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
*to help ease this discomfort i have posted, talked to my boyfriend, rested on the bed for a few minutes....i can clean.


How do I feel right now?
* i feel nervous.


How will I feel when I am hurting myself?

*I will feel calm


How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?

*I will feel really guilty after i hurt myself. Tomorrow i will feel like hurting myself more.


Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?

*I can't avoid it even though i want to.


Do I need to hurt myself?
* No I don't need to.

[balletomane]

It sounds like you've recognized that SI will have a lot of negative repercussions for you. That's an important first step. What things will you get out of SIing? What needs does it meet for you? What other, healthy, ways do you have of getting those needs met?

[LBC]

It sounds like you've answered all the questions really honestly...which is great, because that is how they'll be of most use to you.

Like Balletomane said...it sounds like you know that SI isn't the answer. She's given you some excellent questions to think about.

Do you need more ideas for distractions? There's a great list in Sourcebook. When I'm feeling urgy and really need to distract, I do Sudoku puzzles...it puts me in a more logical, less emotion-driven space.

[quiet1]

when situations arise that are unknown or new to me i get very nervous. its part of my anxiety disorder. i have many tools to cope with upsetting things other than SI. i can paint, write, talk to someone, call my therapist, check the boards, smoke a cig, go for a walk, wash the dishes. the only time i need to SI is when I am completely obsessed with no trigger. nothing will take away the obsession except SI. that is why i have to go see this new doc tomorrow and that is why i am nervous.

i really appreciate the responses and questions posed. it was a good exercise to really think it thru and answer all of those questions. i guess i have more insight into my SI than i thought.