Right Now I Feel... Version 2.0

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Lynds
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 425
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Location: Sussex, England

Post by Lynds » Sun Mar 25, 2007 2:48 pm

I feel shit and I'm fed up with it
"She would never know, because he would never tell her. Somehow if she’d known the worst parts, she couldn’t have gone on being a haven for him… He needed her ignorance to hide in. Yet at the same time, he wanted to know and be known as deeply as possible. And the two desires were irreconcilable"
From Regeneration by Pat Barker

Silentdancer

Post by Silentdancer » Sun Mar 25, 2007 6:26 pm

content, exhausted.

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zombiepeople
knows the ropes
knows the ropes
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Location: next to the spooky bus stop...i've never seen a bus there though...hmm
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Post by zombiepeople » Sun Mar 25, 2007 7:47 pm

lonely, though I'm not too sure why, suspicious, worried, bored

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sockr28
sock rocker
sock rocker
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Joined: Tue Jul 11, 2006 7:14 am

Post by sockr28 » Mon Mar 26, 2007 5:52 am

like giving up
urgy
self hate

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wilson
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
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Location: aussie-land Age: eighteen
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Post by wilson » Mon Mar 26, 2007 1:08 pm

i feel i need to cut i need to cry i need to hurt and i need to die
i feel so alone i feel unaware i feel so down i need to beware
<center>R.I.P. 23/07/89 - 05/11/01
R.I.P. 1953-2008

counting stars

im over existing in limbo
im over the myths and placebos
i dont really mind if i just fade away
</center>

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Quiet little Angel
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7754
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:10 pm
Location: somewhere between blue tulips and anxiety...

Post by Quiet little Angel » Mon Mar 26, 2007 1:55 pm

proud and hopefull
/May

:lblstar: Never underestimate the power of silence... :lblstar:
:lblstar: micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand... :lblstar:
:lblstar: ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there? :lblstar:
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome

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styled_wrong
beyond inspiring
beyond inspiring
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Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2005 1:36 am

Post by styled_wrong » Mon Mar 26, 2007 3:46 pm

upset, scared, lost alone
scars are tattoos with better stories
it's hard to answer the question whats wrong, when nothing is 'right'
Not all scars show. Not all wounds heal. Sometimes you cant always see the pain someone feels

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black_23
quintessential regular
quintessential regular
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Location: Off the map

Post by black_23 » Mon Mar 26, 2007 8:22 pm

very nervous, tired, fragile, teary
'Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life' Picasso

'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath


My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459

My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307

fire eye'd boy
unpacking boxes
unpacking boxes
Posts: 28
Joined: Sat Jan 20, 2007 10:36 pm

Post by fire eye'd boy » Mon Mar 26, 2007 11:43 pm

Right now, I feel...

dissapointed in/ frustrated with myself
because I slept through all my classes again today, just like all of last week. I told myself I wasn't going to do that. I even woke up at 8 am. And then... went back to sleep. Why did I do that? I couldn't figure out what to do next, which way was up or down, nothing to guide me, and just took the path of no resistance.

What I'm going to do about that:
I'm going to start setting two alarms again. Since my phone broke I've been terrible about getting up. I have to make sure my phone's charged sot that it can be my backup alarm. Also, the night before, I will lay out the clothes I'm going to wear for the next day. If I put on clothes then I'll stay awake. I'm also going to go today and buy some more coffee. And I'm going to make a playlist for wake-up music.

Also, I feel... tired. Just... tired. Of everything. Depressed? But I've been sleeping 15+ hours a day and I still feel tired. Maybe I've been getting too much sleep?
I'm not sure. I feel... isolated. The only time I see anyone is late... that's when all my friends hang out. And I feel isolated all day, and I want to be around people, so I hang out with them late, and then I'm tired and oversleep.

I am... disgusted. With myself. I want to punish myself for doing things that would make me feel that way, and also to escape from feeling that way. Lately I've just been escaping.

How can I punish myself constructively?

I guess I'm confused. I feel worthless and stupid. All my problems are my own damn fault. I need to get control of myself. I need... discipline.

Ok... well... first things first. I'm not going to smoke weed today/ hang out with friends late. And I'll see tomorrow if that helps me wake up when I want to.

So , to review , for today (so I can write this on my whiteboard)
1) plug in phone- check alarm.
2) buy coffee/ filters.
3) do laundry? - lay out clothes for tomorrow
3) clean room.
4) make music playlist (this will be fun)
5) don't smoke!

6) Instead of smoking I will: try to catch up on class work, instead of avoiding it.

This is, um.... something I'm actually kind of scared of, especially since I don't have help this time. This whole class thing has happened before, and it's always acompanied by (other) self-destructive impulses... yeah. I'm still trying to figure out why I've been doing this-- why I've let myself do this-- but for now, I just have to stop letting myself escape into the familiar.

Oh!- and I'll shave. That's always a good outward self-indicator that I'm changing something.

But what happened? I used to be such a perfectionist.

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calypso
spiffy maximus
spiffy maximus
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Location: australia

Post by calypso » Tue Mar 27, 2007 2:56 am

totally zoned out

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the edge of the world
knows the ropes
knows the ropes
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Gender: female
Location: the edge of the world, duh!...

Post by the edge of the world » Tue Mar 27, 2007 6:16 am

hi!!!!


eek! I'm super-buzzed! It turns from happy-hyper to anxious hyperventelating to accidently -*si*- thwacking myself in the head (well... semi accidently... I guess some part of me tells my arm to move, but it surprises me and i jump) to a neutral wide-awake feeling.

disorriented, a little.

eyes don't like to focus very well..

awful concentration like i'm a goldfish.

jumpiness.

:o

I'm not sure whether this is a good or a bad feeling... it's like I shoved them together. good bad angry happy sad self-hating self-loving content disorriented hyper exhausted..... and then I get confused thinking about it and my brain isn't thinking very well/clearly and I can't type fast enough.

I blame it on sleep deprivation.

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K8ty
building community
building community
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Location: South Dakota
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Post by K8ty » Tue Mar 27, 2007 6:23 am

Very anxious, hungry

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calypso
spiffy maximus
spiffy maximus
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Location: australia

Post by calypso » Tue Mar 27, 2007 12:53 pm

screwed

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balletomane
one of us
one of us
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Post by balletomane » Tue Mar 27, 2007 5:04 pm

sick. :(

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strmdncr
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
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Gender: Genderfluid
Location: lost in the wilderness of my mind

Post by strmdncr » Tue Mar 27, 2007 5:21 pm

confused, frustrated, disappointed, tired, kind of down, scared (though don't know of what)
A friend is someone who believes in you even when you've ceased to believe in yourself. (unknown)

strmdncr's sanctuary
strmdncr speaks

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MusicalMorphine
growing roots
growing roots
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Gender: Female
Location: Hastings, England

Post by MusicalMorphine » Wed Mar 28, 2007 4:23 pm

So scared.

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Porcelain_Doll
growing roots
growing roots
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Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:45 pm
Location: New Hampshire

Post by Porcelain_Doll » Wed Mar 28, 2007 9:38 pm

Stressed
Urgey
Upset
Tired
Never to suffer would never to have been blessed.
-Edgar Allan Poe
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=110034
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myshelle
unpacking boxes
unpacking boxes
Posts: 25
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2006 11:51 pm
Location: Alabama, USA
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I feel

Post by myshelle » Thu Mar 29, 2007 1:21 am

tired

relaxed

anxious

guilty

serenity

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acdcrocker1909
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Location: Little Blue dot in a sea of Red

Post by acdcrocker1909 » Thu Mar 29, 2007 3:19 am

I feel.. tired.. drained.. low.. unable to sleep...rundown.. unwanted...

:bluestar:
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - APWBD.


Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.

Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.

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cinitrom
settling in
settling in
Posts: 149
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2007 11:35 pm
Location: VA (Age: 16)
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Post by cinitrom » Thu Mar 29, 2007 3:34 am

bleh.
vaguely suicidal (should, want to, won't.).
slightly helpful.
tired?

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