Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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hey_joe
one of us
one of us
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:19 pm

Post by hey_joe » Sat Mar 17, 2007 2:56 pm

I'm very sorry.

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Scatterbrain
bus conductor
bus conductor
Posts: 5074
Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 3:17 am
Location: Washington state, USA

Post by Scatterbrain » Sat Mar 17, 2007 6:50 pm

Your door was locked, but I saw you in there. I wanted to come in and say hi and talk. I'm afraid that I will scare you away if I tell you more of my issues... I've gotten to this point of openness with a couple people before and then after a couple more conversations they freaked out and either ditched me or told someone. I want you to tell me that you are here and that you wont ditch me. I want you to tell me that everything is going to be ok. Please. I need someone stable and who is willing to help me and just listen. You are the closest I have to that right now. Please dont ditch me.

~Megan
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )

"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead

Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics

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Quiet little Angel
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7754
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:10 pm
Location: somewhere between blue tulips and anxiety...

Post by Quiet little Angel » Sun Mar 18, 2007 10:07 am

R: i'm sorry i asked... you just confirmed my worst fear... don't go... please don't go...
/May

:lblstar: Never underestimate the power of silence... :lblstar:
:lblstar: micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand... :lblstar:
:lblstar: ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there? :lblstar:
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome

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mithz
bus mechanic
bus mechanic
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Joined: Mon Nov 20, 2006 11:31 pm
Gender: Male
Location: Hull, UK

Post by mithz » Mon Mar 19, 2007 10:30 pm

Why do you have to be nice to me? Why can't you just tell me to piss off? I don't like having to try and make sense of the confusion all the time, because I know that I keep doing the wrong things.

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mephistopheles
cow control
cow control
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Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 4:40 pm
Location: London

*ed*

Post by mephistopheles » Mon Mar 19, 2007 10:33 pm

you mean something to me. but not enough for me to stay here another year and beat my brains out against the same sodding wall.

how dare you binge in front of me? am i not lesson enough? your voice is fucked. if you get sores on your hands i'm taking you to hospital. no questions.
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”

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Porcelain_Doll
growing roots
growing roots
Posts: 985
Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:45 pm
Location: New Hampshire

Post by Porcelain_Doll » Mon Mar 19, 2007 10:41 pm


I can't be what you need me to be. I know I say I'll try, but I know i can't. I just can't do it.
Never to suffer would never to have been blessed.
-Edgar Allan Poe
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=110034
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PassingCloud
post laureate
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Joined: Fri Jan 30, 2004 10:19 pm
Gender: female

Post by PassingCloud » Tue Mar 20, 2007 6:59 pm

I FUCKING HATE YOU! fucking bastards. every single one of you. i HATE you.
and i wish i could tell you in your FACE! :evil:
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[I'm talking about my life.][I can't seem to get that through to you.]
[I'm not just talking about one person,][I'm talking about everybody.]
[I'm talking about form, I'm talking about content.][I'm talking about inter-relationships.]
[I'm talking about God, the Devil, Hell, Heaven!]
[Do you understand?]
[Finally?]
(one flew over the cuckoo's nest)

:redstar:
My Place

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finding neverland
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 396
Joined: Sun Dec 10, 2006 12:42 am

Post by finding neverland » Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:17 pm

You are so fucking low. This is not a game at all or a little play thing, just grow up please.
<p><center>You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting.

~

Scar tissue has no character. It's not like skin. It doesn't show age or illness or pallor or tan. It has no pores, no hair, no wrinkles. It's like a slipcover. It shields and disguises what's beneath.

[That's why we grow it, we have to something to hide.]

~

Every window on Alcatraz has a view of San Francisco.
</center><p>

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Peege
being the change
being the change
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Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 4:21 am
Location: Desolation Row

Post by Peege » Tue Mar 20, 2007 11:55 pm

i miss you. so much.

i only said goodbye because i thought you'd stop me.

i just wanted you to tell me you care. it hurts so much that you dont.

And the birds up on the wires and the telegraph poles
They can always fly away from this rain and this cold


Place

Image

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Scatterbrain
bus conductor
bus conductor
Posts: 5074
Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 3:17 am
Location: Washington state, USA

Post by Scatterbrain » Wed Mar 21, 2007 4:09 am

Can I come by on Friday? I have a question and I want to talk with you. I need to talk with you. I'm afraid that if I tell you more that you will ditch me. I will scare you and you will think I need more help and you will tell a counselor or my parents. I'm not in danger right now. I dont need more help at the moment. What I need is someone to listen and just be there. That is you. Please dont leave me. I dont know what I would do.

~Megan
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )

"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead

Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics

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cinitrom
settling in
settling in
Posts: 149
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2007 11:35 pm
Location: VA (Age: 16)
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Post by cinitrom » Wed Mar 21, 2007 4:57 am

I hate you I hate you I hate you.
I bet you hate me, too.
I bet you think I'm disgusting and stupid and selfish and worthless.
I bet you'd like to disown me.
You always say that, don't you? When I talk back and you're already angry or stressed, it's your threat. "I'm not going to take this shit anymore! You give me any more of this--" This is where you put your hand on my neck, right? You know, I don't like people touching me neck because of you. Thanks. "--bullshit and I'm going to disown you! You hear me? I'm going to fucking disown you!" That's what you say, right? Well, guess what! I don't give a flying rat's ass if you disown me! I don't want your money. I don't want your house. I don't even want your love.
I hate you.
(But sometimes I love you so so so much because you're my dad and I don't know what I'd do if I lost you I love you I love you I love you I'm so sorry so sorry sorry sorry please forgive me.)

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Porcelain_Doll
growing roots
growing roots
Posts: 985
Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:45 pm
Location: New Hampshire

Post by Porcelain_Doll » Wed Mar 21, 2007 8:21 pm

I hate you. I want to tell you how bad a parent you are. You have completely failed. You can't do anything right, and yet you expect me to be perfect. You tell me that's not what you expect, but nothing I ever do is good enough. And when I get praise from somewhere else you you shoot it down or hide it from me. I hate you.
Never to suffer would never to have been blessed.
-Edgar Allan Poe
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=110034
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Silentdancer

Post by Silentdancer » Wed Mar 21, 2007 11:09 pm

I want to let you in, but I can't for some reason. I've never let people in, not like this. Maybe someday...

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Scatterbrain
bus conductor
bus conductor
Posts: 5074
Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 3:17 am
Location: Washington state, USA

Post by Scatterbrain » Thu Mar 22, 2007 5:04 am

Fuck you. I was looking forward to one thing this week. Watching the movie with you guys was going to be the highlight of the week. It was the one thing I was optimistic about. How stupid am I? Things like that always seem to get shot down and they never work out. When I am I going to learn that expectations only lead to disappointment. I thought it would be different this time. Its the day before your birthday, I thought you would be interesting in watching it and hanging out. I just wish things would work out once. Just once.

~Megan
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )

"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead

Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics

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Poppies
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 6994
Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2004 4:12 pm
Location: UK

Post by Poppies » Thu Mar 22, 2007 11:30 pm

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Last edited by Poppies on Fri Mar 23, 2007 9:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
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MusicalMorphine
growing roots
growing roots
Posts: 819
Joined: Wed Jul 19, 2006 5:51 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Hastings, England

Post by MusicalMorphine » Thu Mar 22, 2007 11:49 pm

I didn't know what to think when you said you were glad I turned out okay and normal considering. I am so fucked up you don't even know, but I don't want you to. I don't think it would do either of us any good right now.

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crs13
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 346
Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2006 9:19 pm

Post by crs13 » Fri Mar 23, 2007 6:11 pm

okay. I've had it. It's not funny that I'm having trouble. I was sicker than you've ever been in your entire life. I have effing depression and I should have been in the effing hospital instead of taking the goddamn final exams. Your dad doesn't have a personality disorder; when you went home for winter break, he didn't end up in jail for the third time; you've never had to testify against him in criminal court; you've never had to deal with the idea that some of the stuff he's done constitutes emotional abuse; you've never had to deal with the nightmarish family conflict that will never go away; you've never had to talk your younger brother out of attempting suicide; you've never had to watch helplessly after your mom attempted suicide; you even have the freedom to not worry where your next semester's tuition is coming from, and what's going to happen to your family when you get kicked off your ex-stepfather's medical insurance. You're not struggling to keep yourself off the path to eating disorder; you've never hurt so much emotionally that all you could do was lash out at yourself, give yourself physical scars to go with the emotional ones; you've never stared down off a bridge, unsure if you can control the desire to jump.

Yes, I collapsed under the weight of all that. Don't you DARE tell me that makes me weak.
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thanks to P!nk Elephant for the sig pic!

Sing with me
Sing for the years
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears

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Porcelain_Doll
growing roots
growing roots
Posts: 985
Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:45 pm
Location: New Hampshire

Post by Porcelain_Doll » Fri Mar 23, 2007 9:51 pm

I need help, breathing excersises aren't going to cut it. I just can't bring myself to talk to you, just because you're an adult. I need help but I stop myself from getting it.

I don't know if I want to have sex with you. It scares me.
Never to suffer would never to have been blessed.
-Edgar Allan Poe
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=110034
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she's.just.a.girl15
settling in
settling in
Posts: 102
Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 4:07 am
Location: USA

Post by she's.just.a.girl15 » Sat Mar 24, 2007 4:03 am

I need your support. I've wanted to tell you for so long but I don't want to bring you down like she did last year. I don't want to be like her. I need someone to talk to. I want us to be able to act like real best friends and not pretend these things aren't happening. I want you to care.
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Porcelain_Doll
growing roots
growing roots
Posts: 985
Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:45 pm
Location: New Hampshire

Post by Porcelain_Doll » Sat Mar 24, 2007 2:39 pm

I am afraid that she messed messed me up permanently. That I will never be able to let anyone close to me lean on me without me running away. I'm afraid that he'll get sick of it and leave me. I'm afraid that it isn't her fault at all and I'm just a selfish fucked up bitch.
Never to suffer would never to have been blessed.
-Edgar Allan Poe
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=110034
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