Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I really don't know at the moment, the situation won't change, I can ignore everything though
- what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It will bring more junk, more crud thats not needed
- how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to... I don't know right now... I want to be able to think, I want to be able to do more for my friend who needs someone
- if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
I don't know and part of me doesn't care, it probably won't last long, then I will just feel bad and try to study for my test
- what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I NEED to study, I can't focus though which is making me feel worse. I need to think of being able to say I'm doing what I can for my friend, and thats all I can do, I could try and study and hope to get lost in my book...
- how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
Like crud if I do it, like crud anyway if I can't convince myself I am doing the best I can for him
- what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
My ex bf's mom went to the hospital, long story, I want to be there for him tell him I care about him, she still cares about him. He knows she does, if I say I do he will go back to believing we are going out (this is not a good thing). I've talked to him, tried to comfort him want to say I care but can't. I also need to study for a test tomorrow, and I feel guilty I am thinking about that too.
- Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
no, I feel so lost, closest thing to it, I don't know what I did...
- What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
I took a nice shower, I have kept talking to him. I'm here, I drove around a little (it's too late to run or walk anywhere) I tried to let myself cry, I've written in my journal.
- How do I feel right now?
horrible, out of control, useless
- How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
in control of something, a sense of relief, horrible, stupid
- How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
tired, tomorrow... still useless, probably worse though
- Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I know theres another way to deal with the stressor, to accept that I am doing all I can but I can't convince myself of this. I can't think of anything
- Do I need to hurt myself?
I know I don't NEED to but it's all I can think of at the moment when I'm not worrying about him or homework or his mom
