Before

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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kendra
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Before

Post by kendra » Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:28 pm

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
  • how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
    There will be something else for me to think of, I won't be all tense and anxious

  • what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
    It will bring frustration with myself, I can maybe concentrate on something other than stupid comments by creepy people

  • how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
    I want to feel strong, in control, tell someone to go to hell. Not really

  • if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
    it will at least keep me busy until class, so only a few min probably

  • what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
    Figure out what creeped me out about that guy, stay on here and do distractions, give my homework another try

  • how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
    Ashamed and frustrated it's too warm for long sleeves. If I got my paper done I'd at least know I got something done

  • what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want to feel like I can actually do something, that I can do my paper and do ok on it. I want to just let go of what is making me feel stupid


urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer
  • Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
    A couple of things, a creepy train driver (just acted really creepy and made me feel stupid), and I am not satisfied with my homework.

  • Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
    I'm never really satisfied with my writing, I need to just turn it in, revised one more time and say thats the best I can do. Creepy guys, I just need to turn up my music so I don't hear em or they can't get my attention

  • What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
    I went to lab and tried asking questions, felt worse, wasn't able to consentrate and felt like I could have done better. I can stay here after class and try doing my homework in the library, maybe it will keep my mind off the rude comments.

  • How do I feel right now?
    Anxious, ready to cry, frustated

  • How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
    relief, pain

  • How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
    right after-relieved, able to focus on my next class and maybe my paper. Tomorrow (or even after class) dissappointed, sad, scared of someone noticing

  • Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
    Unfortunantly papers can't be avoided, I need to get the courage to ask someone to proof read them. I need to learn to ignore stupid people who say stupid things

  • Do I need to hurt myself?

Not really, just really want to. I'm gonna try working on my paper and just print it, say I'm done, it'll be fine.

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dncn4lyfe77
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Post by dncn4lyfe77 » Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:56 am

I'm sorry you're feeling the way you are right now. Some good alternatives for relieving stress are running, screaming into a pillow ( a personal favorite ) and one thats kinda cool...tense every muscle in your body for 10 seconds then release them. If you need to take a break from your paper, you can try to make a deal with yourself like, for every 20 minutes I spend on the paper, I will spend 5 minutes relaxing/doing something else. Sometimes that takes away from the stress a little bit. As for creepy train guys....I have no idea what to tell ya. I wouldn't worry about them though. You'll prolly never see them again and if n e thing just laugh about how weird they are haha :tongue:
Or you can imagine them in their underwear...actually *shudder* that might be more creepy, scratch that. Annnnyways a really fun stress relieving side is cyanide and happiness. If you google that, then you'll get some site for Explosm.net or sumthing and thats like instant stress relief...they are freeking hilarious. :D

hoped I helped a lil

take care
Last slip-April 19th 2008-----Aiming for 1 week SI free

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kendra
town councillor
town councillor
Posts: 1473
Joined: Fri Feb 02, 2007 9:11 am
Location: California

Post by kendra » Wed Mar 14, 2007 7:11 am

Thanks for the idea, I do tend to play the I'll work on my paper for x amount of time game, I need to not be so hard on myself for not getting it done soon enough I guess.
I will try googling that, I'm always good for a laugh.
And tried the running, actually fast walking I can't run with my book bag, it really helped thanks for the idea. I think I'd look a little wierd at school yelling into one of the pillows :tongue: but then again... naw, but good one to keep in mind when at home thanks

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