after.....damn it.....

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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dncn4lyfe77
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after.....damn it.....

Post by dncn4lyfe77 » Sat Mar 03, 2007 9:19 am

* have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.

Yeah I got the rubbing alcohol and gauze and fixed em up

* what had happened just before?
I was really restless and pacing, and coudnt stop thinking about it and how it would make me feel after

* what were you thinking and feeling?

How badly i wanted to cut

* why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?

I just grabbed the stuff and did it....i stopped trying not to...i just let myself do it...its like it wasnt even me who was doing it....idk if that makes sence

* how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.

I have no idea, i just gave up i guess

* were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?

no...im just idk

* what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work? I tried eating, walking around, being on this board...nothing helped

* in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?

Being with someone....if im alone and i want to do it, i ususally give in

* name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.

Have a person ill call, and something ill do written down


* how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?

no its not resolved...i need to try harder and not give up...like i always seem to do

* are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?

yeah deffly.......i recognise it but like i said...i give up

* what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.

Calling my friend BEFORE I cut, and BEFORE the urge becomes too strong

Running on the tredmill like my phsyc told me to do

Coming here to post a Before...to really get deep down to what im really feeling and y i want to harm myself
Last slip-April 19th 2008-----Aiming for 1 week SI free

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syn
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Post by syn » Sat Mar 03, 2007 3:52 pm

You have some really good insight into what you can do if this happens again. Like calling a friend, running, and using the Before board.

However, you seem to lack insight into what caused this to happen. Like what were the triggers that led to the urges? Was anything going on at home, at school, within your own emotions, etc.

If you can recognize the triggers you can address urges sometimes before they even happen. It is definitely something I would talk to your psych about.

I commend you for using this board, these can be hard questions to answer but they are healthy.
~ Syn

with recognition we will grieve
that waking is the sorrow of ending dreams


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