Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!
- red umbrellas
- beyond inspiring
- Posts: 8175
- Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 8:50 am
- Location: Sydney
i'm scared that my problem is real.
but equally scared that it's not bad enough to be 'real'.
and i don't even know how to make sense of this myself anymore
but equally scared that it's not bad enough to be 'real'.
and i don't even know how to make sense of this myself anymore
And excuses and excuses and excuses
Hold On To Yourself - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
"We paint a picture of a scenario - and then we become afraid of it" - Andrea Fella
- acdcrocker1909
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 10453
- Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:42 am
- Gender: Transguy
- Location: Little Blue dot in a sea of Red
i'm scared i am a fake.
i'm scared that without my band director around to keep me in line.. that i'll fall back to where i was.
i'm scared of myself at times..
i'm scared that without my band director around to keep me in line.. that i'll fall back to where i was.
i'm scared of myself at times..
Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.
Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.
- Silent_Tears
- spiffy maximus
- Posts: 4278
- Joined: Tue Nov 14, 2006 2:44 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: Kentucky
i'm terrified to write this, but more terrified to leave it in my head. i worry that i'm physically/emotionally abusing my son, and i have to tell my t. tomorrow. i'm so scared about the outcome. i'm so upset about what i've become. i'm so worried about my son and how he is developing. i want him to be more normal. i don't want him to have to deal with the shit i have had to. i don't want to be like my mom and dad. i'm worse than they are. i've picked up both their bad habits. i yell like my mom and hit like my dad. it's not good. it's so scary. i don't want to be this way, but i don't know how to stop it. i shouldn't have kids. i am not in control enough. he's past that "cute little kid" stage and has turned into a back-talking pest of a child (like all kids his age). i've never left any "marks" on him, but who knows the emotional scars that i'm leaving. i don't want him to hate me, i don't want him to hate himself. i don't want him to be scared of me. i don't want him to be scared to feel. i'm so terrified. i'm backing off from the emotion and dissociating. maybe i should write specifics down for my t. so i wouldn't have to tell her. but, then she would have written proof. i would not be able to backtrack and say she "misunderstood" me. i would be damned for sure. i guess better to be damned then to have my son damned. i'd rather be deemed a fuck up now and save him some agony. and who knows, i could be the same way with my daughter when she grows older. i have to stop this now. i have to stop it before it gets bad. i have to be brave. i have to tell my t.
- acdcrocker1909
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 10453
- Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:42 am
- Gender: Transguy
- Location: Little Blue dot in a sea of Red
that once sentence took me forever to type.. and i'm afraid to death of the reaction to that one little sentence.. that seriously took me almost 10 minutes to type and send..
Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.
Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.
- Scatterbrain
- bus conductor
- Posts: 5074
- Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 3:17 am
- Location: Washington state, USA
Do you really believe I am just tired? Do you think I enjoy being isolated? Wake up. Its called depression... but it cant be that big of a deal, right. Nothing ever is to you...
~Megan
~Megan
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )
"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead
Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )
"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead
Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics
- HiddenByLies
- beyond inspiring
- Posts: 9109
- Joined: Sun Nov 28, 2004 12:30 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: My Own World Interests: Music, Art & Poetry Age: 22
pm's welcomed
you made me promise to stop self injuring, and that's great. but you don't understand that it's not that easy. i want to stop, and i'm working on it. but just because you've not done it for 3 months, and only have done it a few times in total, does not mean that it is that easy for me too. you already beat me at everything, you don't have to rub this in my face too.
you made me promise to stop self injuring, and that's great. but you don't understand that it's not that easy. i want to stop, and i'm working on it. but just because you've not done it for 3 months, and only have done it a few times in total, does not mean that it is that easy for me too. you already beat me at everything, you don't have to rub this in my face too.
she looks so happy to me and you
but inside her body are secrets and lies
they're all her own that she hides behind
her radiant mask her wonderful grace
but inside she's wondering why she's stuck in this place
but into her being she'll fall and remain
until someone frees her it's all just the same
Maurice --> <-- Bylies
|-MY PLACE-|
|-my poetry-|
I really, really have to find my dad. Just to know his name.
I'm shy! I'm sure everyone knows it by know, but it's a secret I'm keeping from myself. And the most important part: it's ok. I just have to convince myself.
I'm shy! I'm sure everyone knows it by know, but it's a secret I'm keeping from myself. And the most important part: it's ok. I just have to convince myself.
The lightning and the thunder
They go and they come
But the stars and the stillness
Are always at home.
<a href="http://www.fastweb.com/ib/aff-1f/6NP98A4H90UNCJF" title="FastWeb: Scholarships, Financial Aid and Colleges" target="blank"><img></a>
They go and they come
But the stars and the stillness
Are always at home.
<a href="http://www.fastweb.com/ib/aff-1f/6NP98A4H90UNCJF" title="FastWeb: Scholarships, Financial Aid and Colleges" target="blank"><img></a>
- MusicalMorphine
- growing roots
- Posts: 819
- Joined: Wed Jul 19, 2006 5:51 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Hastings, England
I'm worried that when our mortgage comes through I'll start acting like it's MY house not OURS...all because it'll just be my name not his on the deeds...That scares me. What if it pushes us apart?
"She would never know, because he would never tell her. Somehow if she’d known the worst parts, she couldn’t have gone on being a haven for him… He needed her ignorance to hide in. Yet at the same time, he wanted to know and be known as deeply as possible. And the two desires were irreconcilable"
From Regeneration by Pat Barker
From Regeneration by Pat Barker
- pebbles202
- one of us
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:13 am
- Location: Los Angeles & San Francisco, California
- Contact:
what if
what if my parents never call me back? I can't give into them again, then it will just be harder next time I dissagree. I cry because its been 3 weeks since i've talked to anyone in my family- but I cant be the one to call them back, they can't have the satisfaction of them being right again. (even though they are often time irrational)
I just cant
*PM
I just cant
*PM
Every action has a reaction and everything has a purpose.
- Licentia Poetica
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 24935
- Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2003 10:06 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: Australia
- Contact:
If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins
- wilson
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7567
- Joined: Wed Oct 18, 2006 2:06 am
- Location: aussie-land Age: eighteen
- Contact:
PM's Welcome.
i cant 'recover' because i dont want to. i dont want to lose you. it should of been me, not you. its my fault your dead. fuck
i cant 'recover' because i dont want to. i dont want to lose you. it should of been me, not you. its my fault your dead. fuck
<center>R.I.P. 23/07/89 - 05/11/01
R.I.P. 1953-2008
counting stars
im over existing in limbo
im over the myths and placebos
i dont really mind if i just fade away
</center>
R.I.P. 1953-2008
counting stars
im over existing in limbo
im over the myths and placebos
i dont really mind if i just fade away
</center>
When I was younger, I used to be scared to go to bed. Sometimes because of nightmares but mostly because I didn't want to be left alone when everyone else was asleep. Now I'm grown up I still get scared...more often than not.
"She would never know, because he would never tell her. Somehow if she’d known the worst parts, she couldn’t have gone on being a haven for him… He needed her ignorance to hide in. Yet at the same time, he wanted to know and be known as deeply as possible. And the two desires were irreconcilable"
From Regeneration by Pat Barker
From Regeneration by Pat Barker
I blame myself for the miscarriage at times I could imagine you grown up, but now shes gone and I miss her wish I could still see her sometimes.
I know its my fault your so down and I wish I could be there to support you more, but im scared of coming back, one wkend there and all I wanted to do was cut.
I feel invisible.
I know its my fault your so down and I wish I could be there to support you more, but im scared of coming back, one wkend there and all I wanted to do was cut.
I feel invisible.
'Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life' Picasso
'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath
My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459
My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307
'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath
My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459
My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307
- Quiet little Angel
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7754
- Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:10 pm
- Location: somewhere between blue tulips and anxiety...
please will someone go with me abroad... i feel betrayed and let down... i want to travel... please go with me... anyone?
Last edited by Quiet little Angel on Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
/May
Never underestimate the power of silence...
micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand...
ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there?
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome
Never underestimate the power of silence...
micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand...
ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there?
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome
When one of my best friends told me he was getting back together with an ex...I felt jealous even though I'm in a long term relationship with someone I love. Now I feel a bit bitter and incredible guilty...and I can't tell anyone. BOLLOCKS!
"She would never know, because he would never tell her. Somehow if she’d known the worst parts, she couldn’t have gone on being a haven for him… He needed her ignorance to hide in. Yet at the same time, he wanted to know and be known as deeply as possible. And the two desires were irreconcilable"
From Regeneration by Pat Barker
From Regeneration by Pat Barker
- Licentia Poetica
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 24935
- Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2003 10:06 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: Australia
- Contact:
Are you just going to be something else I'm going to have to get over?
'Cause I'll tell you right now, I'm not up to it.
'Cause I'll tell you right now, I'm not up to it.
If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins
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