If you are able to identify that you are escalating in anxiety, becoming overwhelmed with emotion or detaching from your feelings and are entertaining the idea of self-injury, here are some good alternatives:
Get rid of any sharp objects around that you have access to
Go to a public place
Read a book/magazine
Journal (identify the trigger)
Take a shower
Listen to music
Take a walk
Draw/Color
Watch TV.
Get grounded
Visualize your safe scene
Talk to a parent, pastor or friend
Pray
Play sports
Make crafts
Get on the computer (stay away from triggering web sites)
Talk into a tape recorder
Shred paper
Hold ice cubes in your hands until they melt and then use warm water
Call your therapist
Make a no-harm contract with yourself or someone you trust
Clean the house
Take a bubble bath
Do relaxation exercises
Do deep breathing exercises
Go shopping
Wear a rubber band around a wrist and snap it tightly when the urge arises
Make marks (washable red marker) where you want to hurt yourself (sometimes self-injurers like the sight of blood)
If you are unable to utilize the above methods and self-injury ideation becomes imminent then “deal making” is used by many self-injurers as a last resort and can be very affective. “Deal making” is the process where you basically make a no harm contract with yourself or with someone you trust that you will not harm yourself for a designated amount of time. Once the time elapses you positively acknowledge the fact that you did not act out on your urge, re-assess your feeling state and make another contract or “deal” if necessary. Here’s an example:
“The Fifteen Minute Rule”
One of the most effective things that can precede anything else on this list is the 15-minute rule. Make a contract with yourself that you will wait 15 minutes before hurting yourself. During this time, use whatever coping skills work for you (this is best), or just do something to pass the time. After the 15 minutes are over, recognize the fact that you were able to successfully complete the contract and immediately make another, realizing you have the power within to not react impulsively (you’ve already shown that). If you still want to hurt yourself, make another 15-minute contract making sure to give yourself credit for not acting impulsively. If at any time you believe you are in jeopardy of not continuing the self-contracting skill, reach out for assistance immediately. When the desire to self-injure finally passes, maybe you can tell a friend who knows about your self-injury that you made it through. Even looking forward to saying, "I made it!" is an incentive, and can make you feel good about yourself.
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Alternatives to Self Injury
Here is just a large list of things you can do besides self injury. If you feel the urge coming on, there are many, many things you can do instead of self injuring. Below is just the tip of the iceberg of things you can do.
Go to SLEEP (I've used this a lot...just went to bed the hell with everything else, at the time the most important thing was for me NOT to cut)
Leave the room- just go out, anywhere
Call a friend/IM a friend/See a friend (seeing best, calling second, IM if you can't do the other two)
Email counselor/Call counselor
Exercise (great way to get out that frustrated energy)
Write
Watch a movie or TV
Come here and get support
Turn on the radio (dance around if you want to...like me)
Go into a room with someone else in it....if you live with someone else like me
Play games....free-cell, or other stuff
Write letters to people
Take a SHOWER! or a bath
Curl up into a little ball on the floor and try not to move...try to make myself as small as possible...that helps sometimes...lol, sounds crazy though
SING!!!
Play video games, violent ones foe when I'm frustrated or angry
Practice my guitar 9 keeps my hands busy, and is very relaxing)
Reading comics ( of the funny kind, Calvin and Hobbes is AWESOME)
Play with my daughter, or take a nap with her
Talk to my husband, or friend
Take a hot bath or shower, somehow getting clean helps
Meditation
Yoga, my newest interest has been working wonders
Get a list of ways to annoy people, go to the mall, and try to do as many as possible... I've yet to do this, but I plan to sometime...
See how many pieces you can rip a piece of paper into
Count something....
Try to figure out new stupid human tricks (like tongue tricks and things to do with your eyes.... I can finally move my eyes in two seperate directions... though it kinda tires out the muscles....)
Fold a paper into a triangle and figure out how to shoot it from your face (I figured out one way... that's not actually inside my mouth)
Teach myself something new
Draw
clean
write
journal
create art
rearrange the apartment
think of things for the gallery
Tearing up magazines is great
Punching something (not hard things that are gonna mess up your hand, though)
Go driving (only if you are safe!!!)
Go to the library
Try to see if you can hold perfectly still and count how long you last
Paint your nails
Look back on old photo's but not ones that are depressing
Eat, mainly junkfood hehe, not exactly healthy
Try to lighten your mood, go try to find some friends and hang out with them
Go to Second Chances
Play with pet if you have on ( don't you dare play with it's claws!!!)
Listen to music
Write poems or stories or in scrapbook
Cry
Cuddle up with the dog - Until she tries to lick you to death, then kick her outta your room man!!!
Deep breathing exercises
Go jogging or to the gym
Look through magazines and cut out pictures (stick in journal)
Talk to my parents (if there's no other option)
Computer
Homework
Shop
Annoy my family, yell, scream, interrupt them , dance, be an idiot
Stretch
Clean, sort out cupboards, drawers, clothes etc. get rid of old stuff. re-organize. move things around. change my room around (i.e. furniture)
Stick posters all over my walls (and ceiling) or if there are some there, take them down, put new ones up
The other day I made a friendship bracelet and then I did some French knitting
Sewing (i don't but it's an idea for those who can actually sew)
Think about all the shit that will happen if i start cutting again
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DISTRACTIONS
-See if you can find your perfect home and imagine yourself living there
-Exercise (run or play a sport you enjoy)
-read this long long list…and I promise you it is gonna be long
-Listen to music (happy music, motivational music not music that's gonna get u more upset)
-catch up on homework
-watch a movie
-scream super loud (into a pillow)
-draw your own comic strips
-make a paper chain counting the days you've been clean…or even counting the hours, and each link pretty and colorful
-tear up paper and such into tiny pieces
-find a new hobby
-pop balloons :
-build a fort of pillows…. And then destroy it!
-count up to as high as you can (until you get sick of it)
-finish doing something you've been putting off
-watch a favorite TV show or movie (just not movies such as thirteen which will trigger)
-sing at the top of your voice (you can even shout out the lyrics of a song if you suck at singing…like me)
-dye your hair some crazy color…or just a color you've always wanted
-bake…and then eat…food contains glucose and such that send endorphins to your brain and make you HAPPY…and if you're a terrible cook…well then it will be funny
-try on your old clothes (I find lots of clothes I forgot about all the time)
-read a book
-draw/paint how you feel or anything in general (and post in self-expression forum if you want to)
-knit, sew, make necklace
-write a story that relates to your life or poetry (and post in self-expression forum if you feel like it)
-jump up and down….on a trampoline! Or on the ground
-eat chocolate or hot chocolate! (highly recommended unless you're bulimic in which case learn to value yourself because you're beautiful and most likely very skinny)
-go and hang out at a friends house or invite someone over (you may not feel like it but they may cheer you up)
-go outside and catch butterflies…or lizards (never caught either…though a tip on catching lizards:don't catch them by the tail! It tears off…and I personally find it kinda freaky)
-watch fish swimming about
-take up fencing...
-FEED THE DUCKS!
-play online games ( www.addictinggames.com www.miniclip.com www.freearcade.com and well tons of others or just the TH arcade)
-buy a cheap teddy bear and do whatever you wanna do to yourself to it…or just take your anger out on it
-go out and do some gardening…or buy a plant and take care of it
-play with a SLINKY (I love slinkys)
-play a word game (anagrams)
-take anger out on a punching bag (WEAR GLOVES!)
-burn a cd with motivational songs
-have a pillow fight … with the wall… or brother/sister/friend
-plan your prom
-talk to someone you feel comfortable with
-tidy your room
-go clubbing/partying
-count ceiling tiles, floor tiles, bricks in the wall
-sell your soul on ebay
-call someone
-hug a teddy or pillow
-talk to yourself or tape-recorder
-some people like to read the bible…
-hunt for things on ebay or amazon
-take a bath/shower
-write down your feelings
-draw on yourself with a red pen
-scribble
-write down all your problems
-play around with photos on paint or photoshop or photofusion or other computer program (and post on self-expression forum if you wanna)
-go shopping (become a shopaholic! Like me)
-memorise a poem
-scream and stamp your feet
-do a home tan on yourself (just don't turn orange)
-face mask
-pluck your eye-brows
-mess around with make-up (guys become Goths!!!)
-give names to all your teddys
-put on a fake tattoo where you wanna cut yourself ot just put on a fake tattoo anywhere
-watch a candle burning (don't play with the fire though!)
-light insence and candles
-yoga
-dig a big hole in your backyard (blame the dog!)
-perform a random act of kindness to a stranger (it'll make you feel good)
-pray (some people enjoy this…)
-play with clay
-play with face-paints
-throw stuff against the wall (things that don't break like pillows, books teddy bears)
-build something
-put a band-aid on the place you wanna cut
-tidy your wardrobe…color co-ordinate or just tidy
-browse forums
-paint your nails
-learn to swear in foreign languages… or just learn another language (but learning “du arschloch” is so much funner than learning “wie geht es ihnen?”)
-play hide and seek with your siblings
-MEDITATE!!!
-ARCHERY!! (be careful)
-PLAY DOUGH!!!
-paint your arms, or legs or any part of your body…
-write on yourself
-lie outside and look at the sky
-write on the wall (with pencil, so you can erase it eventually)
-punch a pillow or your bed
-smile at people
-plan a party
-make your own zine
-pop bubble wrap (funfunfun)
-re-arrange your room
-be yourself
-play with a fin
-buy some toys and play like you were a little kid again
-go through old stuff (you'll be surprised by what you'll find)
-sleep
-get into your PJs and watch tv and eat popcorn (yummy yummy popcorn)
-make a collage of photos or a photo album
- sort your books or movies into alphabetical order
-call a help hotline or therapist (after all someone's gotta call them, and you're problems are just as important as everyone elses)
-go chat in chat rooms (that's what they're there for)
-look up random words in the dictionary like… EVANESCENCE… (I bet none of you knew that was an actual word; or maybe I'm the only stupid person who found out a few weeks ago)
-come on TH
-go to a concert or check out what ones are coming to your area and buy tickets
-check out the latest movies at the cinema
-start collecting something (stamps, shells, beanie babies,…)
-play a musical instrument, or learn so you can play your favorite song
-finger paint
-do a life size drawing of…YOU...or someone else
-observe people (at the mall, park, etc)
-draw a face on carrot or a potato or a cabbage or an orange or SOMETHING
-talk to…a random object
-snap an elastic band on your wrist
-plant a plant
-make a list of distractions and add to this list (though I'm trying to cover everything…but nobody's perfect…not even me 9 )
-be nice to your family
-rock climbing or tree climbing
-play the 15 minute game (say you won't cut for 15 minutes and when that's up start all over again
)-go to the zoo and give the animals names
-make your own website
-dance…make your own dance routine
-google random things (after all google is my best friend for a reason)
-draw and edit things in magazines
-play on the swings or in the playground
-cry (this is a tough one for me)
-arm wrestle with a member of your family
-smile (another tough one for me sometimes)
-diary (I used to hate having to keep a diary for school until I started to SH and I started to keep my own diary)
-watch cartoons!
-carve into a tree (be careful though…knife may trigger)
-lie on bed + close eyes + music = heaven
-get a tattoo or piercing
-squeeze ice cubes in one hand
-simultaneously draw with a red marker on your kin and squeeze ice
-trace your hand on a piece of paper and on your thumb write something you like to look at, on your index something you like to touch, on the middle something your favorite scent, on the ring something you like the taste of and on the pinkey something you like to listen to and on the palm some thing you like about yourself… memorize it and pin on your wall or just use it as a bookmark or SOMETHING
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Why stop Self harm/Reasons
WHY STOP
-until you stop you don't realize all the stuff you're missing out on (parties etc.)
-you don't have to worry about people finding out
-you can go SWIMMING
-you can wear whatever you want
-you can be who you really are and not have to hide away and be someone you're not
-you can feel and not be constantly NUMB
-you can help others stop without being a hypocrite
-prove to yourself and everyone you don't need it
-no scars bringing back memories
-save money on scar reducer etc.
-you get the satisfaction of knowing you don't need it
-no more washing blood stains out of clothes
-no more lying and coming up with excuses
-you no longer have something to be ashamed of (if you are ashamed)
-no more guilt
-no more feeling bad about hurting others
-one less problem
-you have control over your actions
-you have more time to do fun things instead of SH
-you don't need to punish yourself
-one less addiction
-you can be proud of yourself
-you can learn to be happy again (yeah we do forget to HOW to be happy)
=============================================
more coping alternatives
Use washable red markers to "cut" on your skin
Place your hands in freezing cold water
Listen to music/relaxation tapes
Make a mourning wreath (start with black flowers and replace with colored flowers)
Repetitive reality checking (It's April 1997, and I'm going to be ok)
Negotiate with yourself
Get to know others
Recognize and acknowledge the choices you have NOW
Offer options
Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people
Create and use mental safe places (beach, cabin in the woods, peaceful mountain)
Get out on your own, get away from the stress
Help someone around you (reach out on a bb, newsgroup, phone list etc.)
Pay attention to the changes needed to make you feel safe
Count yourself down (10...9...8...7...)
Take a different perspective (different vantage point)
"I'm aware" Repeat 5 things you see, smell, touch, taste in your present surroundings to help ground you in the present
Pay attention to your breathing (breath slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth)
Pay attention to the rhythmic motions of your body (walking, stretching, etc.)
Move to music
ASK FOR HELP
Ask yourself inside, what YOU need
Make affirmation tapes inside you that are good, kind, gentle (Sometimes you can do this by writing down the negative thoughts and then physically re-writing them into positive messages)
Journal
Touch Something familiar/safe
Draw
Put your feet firmly on the floor
Make something (craft, needlework, etc.)
Accept a gift from a friend
Meditate
Make a phone list of people you can call for support. Allow yourself to use it
Learn HALT signals (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)
Identify what is causing you pain (other than food)
Accept where you are in the process. Beating yourself up, only makes it worse.
Do something FUN!!!
Take a break from mental processing
Take a SAFE risk
Tear up paper (old phonebooks, newspapers, etc.)
Honor your present anger
Throw ice cubes at the bathtub wall, at a tree, etc.
Give yourself permission to.... (Keep it safe)
Lose the "should-could-have to" words. Try... "What if"
Choose your way of thinking, try to resist following old thinking patterns
Put memories in air tight containers with air tight lids
Notice black and white thinking
Connect with others around you. Call a therapist or friend.
Notice "choices" versus "dilemmas"
Keep in touch with others who are fighting the same fight
Check in with yourself and others frequently (try not to isolate)
Make yourself as comfortable as possible (Without using food)
Take a bath or a shower
Color in coloring books
Hold a stuffed animal
Write a poem
Leave the room
Leave the premises
Write a letter, NOT mailed, to the person or problem upsetting you
Play a musical instrument
Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day
Call a hotline or support group
Listen to a comedy tape or video
Reality check old messages (Those you supply and those you hear others tell you)
Clean the house
Get out a fine tooth comb and vigorously brush the fur of a stuffed animal (but use gentle vigor )
Pull weeds in a garden
Plant flowers
The following list was posted by a member of the support forums
1) Exercise, running ect.
2) Putting on fake tattoos
3) Drawing on yourself in red marker (make sure it's washable!)
4) Scribbling on sheets an sheets of paper
5) Writing (poetry, stories, journal, etc.)
6) Cuddling with a stuffed toy
7) Being with other people
Watching a favorite TV show (preferably a comedy) 9) Posting on web boards, and answering others' posts
10) Thinking about how I DON'T want scars for the summer
11) Painting your nails
12) Going to see a movie
13) Eating something ridiculously sweet (or any favorite food)
14) Doing school work
15) Surf the net
16) Go into chat rooms to talk
17) Call a friend and ask for company
18) Playing a musical instrument
19) Singing
20) Looking up at the sky (night is especially beautiful)
21) Making your own list of things to do instead of SI
22) Punching a punching bad (with gloves on)
23) Snapping a rubber band on your wrist (or hair band)
24) Cover yourself with band-aids where you want to cut
25) Mix warm water and red food colouring, and put in on your skin (feels and looks like blood)
26) Letting yourself cry (can be very difficult for some)
27) Sleep (only if you are tired)
28) A hot shower, or relaxing bath (no razors in the tub, though)
29) Play with a pet
30) Detangling yarn or necklaces
31) Re-organizing your room
32) Cleaning (hmmm...I very rarely use this one!)
33) Having a pillowfight with the wall (yes, neighbours may think you are crazy, but that's ok)
34) Knitting or sewing
35) Reading a good book
36) Dressing up very glamorous (make sure no one can walk in on you, though)
37) Colouring your hair
38) Listening to music (not angry music though-that can trigger)
39) Watching a candle burn (no playing with the flames!)
40) Finding someone else you can help out
41) Meditate
42) Watching a scary (but not bloody) movie.
43) Work on a website
44) Have a vivid fantasy love affair with a celebrity
45) Go somewhere very public
46) Bake cookies
47) Alphabetize your CD's
48) Chewing leather (especially if you SI by biting)
49) Buy a home Henna tatoo kit (peels off the next day-similar to skin picking)
50) Painting or drawing
51) Ripping paper into itty-bitty pieces
52) Hugs-(this one is very nice...)
53) Writting letters or email
54) Talk to yourself (or if that feels weird, buy a small tape recorder-I then feel like someone is listening)
55) Stroke nice fabrics
56) Hug a pillow
57) Hyperfocus on something like a rock, hand, etc.
58) fingerpaint
59) Scream real loud (I LOOOVE this one-just make sure no one is home)
60) Dance
61) Make hot chocolate (mmmmm....)
62) pop bubble wrap
63) play with modelling clay or Play-Dough
64) count to one hundred
65) Build a pillow fort
66) pop balloons
67) Hug yourself
68) Sex
69) Reading things in a different language
70) Going for a nice, long drive
71) Complete something you've been putting off
72) Drinking absurd amounts of tea
73) Breaking plastic plates
74) Tearing up socks
75) Throwing socks against the wall
76) Archery
77) Rock climbing
78) Take up a new hobby
79) Organise bills and such
80) Cook a meal
81) Go out for ice cream
82) Buy a stuffed animal (I collect Beanie Babies)
83) Look at pretty things-like flowers or artwork
84) Create Something
85) Pray
86) Make a list of blessings in your life
87) Read the Bible
88) Go to a friend's house
89) Take up fencing
90) Watch an old, happy movie
91) Call a Help hotline or your Therapist
92) Talk to someone close to you that knows
93) Throw a temper-tantrum
94) Hit things-other than yourself
95) Ride a bicycle
96) Polish silver or jewellery
97) Gardening or watering house plants
98) Memorizing German poetry (silly, but works!)
99) CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!
( i hope that this list is helpful) edited to add a nother list of alternatives
What can I do right now to fight an urge?
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me?
-The Beatles
How do you feel right now?
Angry
Squeeze ice.
Do something that will give you a sharp sensation, like biting a lemon.
Excercise.
Take a walk.
Crumple pieces of paper. Rip them up.
Take a cold shower. (But make sure the presence of razors won't make the urge worse.)
For some people, it works to imagine getting even with the person who is making them so angry. For others, though, this only makes the urge worse.
Listen to angry music. Sing along with the tape or CD. Dance.
Scream. Loudly.
Snap a rubber band against your wrist.
Cry. This releases emotions as well s making you feel drained and tired, and if you sleep, things will usually seem better when you wake up.
Clean or do other housework.
Beat up something that isn't alive, like a pillow.
Play a musical instrument, or bang pots and pans.
Cut up cardboard or an old piece of clothing or fabric.
Flatten aluminum cans for recycling.
Pick up a stick and hit a tree.
The logic behind these things is that when you are angry, you have a lot of energy. Most of these are ways to release that energy without self-injuring.
Sad, Depressed
Take a bath. Put bubbles in it.
Read a book that you like. Read a children's book - they always have happy endings.
Get yourself a present.
Watch a funny movie.
Watch cartoons.
Go out somewhere. Bring a friend.
Write, draw, play a musical instrument ... express yourself creatively.
Hug a stuffed animal.
Hug a loved one.
Hug yourself.
Do something that you loved to do when you were a kid.
Think about a time when you were happy. Try to mentally transport yourself back to that time/place.
Read jokes or funny stories. You can find lots of those online.
Go out to eat.
Talk with a friend. You don't have to talk about SI ... talk about something cheerful.
Think about things that make you happy. Make a list.
Do something nice for someone else. That usually cheers people up.
Call 1-800-TACOBELL. (This suggestion came from someone else a long time ago...)
Curl up under a comforter.
Listen to cheerful or calming music.
Buy a happy meal.
Play with a pet or a younger child.
The idea behind most of these is to cheer yourself up somehow...
Empty, Unreal, Unable To Feel
Do something that creates a sharp sensation. Bite a lemon. Squeeze ice.
Focus on one thing. Try to describe it like you would to a blind person.
Put a finger or a hand into a frozen food, like ice cream.
Put your hands under cold water. Take a cold shower.
Focus on your breath, on how your chest and stomach move when you breathe in and out. If you weren't real you wouldn't be breathing.
Eat something mindfully. Pat attention to how it tastes and the sensations that it creates in your mouth. Try to describe it to someone who has no sense of taste.
List as many different uses as your can for a random object. Give yourself a number to reach - like twenty, forty, or fifty. Try to surpass that number. Don't stop after two or three uses.
Interact with other people.
Guilty, Feeling Like A Bad Person
List as many good things about yourself as you can. Give yourself a number to reach - like twenty, forty, or fifty. Try to surpass that number. Don't stop after just a few good things.
Read something good that someone has written about you, like a letter, a recommendation, or an evaluation.
Talk with someone who cares about you.
Do something nice for someone.
Remember times when you did something good.
What are you feeling guilty about? Can you change it somehow? Try talking with the person you feel guilty towards. Maybe they don't feel as bad as you think they do.
If you want to hurt yourself to punish yourself, punish yourself by not allowing yourself to self-injure instead.
Addicted
Draw or write on yourself with a red pen or marker.
Paint yourself with red paint.
Squeeze ice.
Snap a rubber band against your wrist.
Cry.
Excercise.
Buy a cheap tattoo, the kind that comes off after a few days, and put it on yourself.
Look at your old scars. This may trigger you more, so be careful. It may also make the urge go away because you are seeing and experiencing scars, even though they are old.
The point here is to create feelings and sensations similar to those you experience while hurting yourself. Some of these things create visual images like those you may want to see, like scars or blood. Others release endorphins, which is what happens when you hurt yourself and what gives you the feeling of euphoria.
Distractions
Read the section about feeling sad or depressed. Most of those things also distract you.
Look through an old photo album.
Read old letters or e-mails.
Clean your inbox.
Play a game like Solitaire.
Do random searches online.
Read about something you know only a little bit about and that you find interesting.
Open the dictionary in random places and learn new words.
Make a list. Make many lists. List as many foods as you can think of. List all the online screen names that you have ever had, or all the ones that you know of people you talk with. List all the articles of clothing that you own. List ... you get the idea.
Think in a language that you don't know very well.
Try to solve a puzzle.
Go to a playground. Swing on the swings. Go down the slide.
Spin around in circles.
Color in a coloring book.
Make snow angels.
Do homework or work on a project for school.
Make a website.
Write your autobiography or short stories about yourself.
Cook.
Waiting
Play the 15-minute game. Tell yourself, "I will not hurt myself for fifteen minutes." Then see if you can go for another fifteen minutes, and another, and another. Sometimes breaking time down into little chunks makes it easier to manage.
Pick a favorite singer or band and tell yourself that you will not hurt yourself while listening to them.
Pick a day of the week and don't hurt yourself on that day. Eventually, add a second day. And then a third. And so on.
Buy a calendar and give yourself a sticker for every day that you don't hurt yourself.
Pick a place to be your safe place, a place where you won't cut ... like the kitchen, your room, etc. Go there when you have an urge.
The idea is to wait before hurting yourself ... the urge may go away or be easier to deal with later.
)
