Candys Coping Thread
Candy's Coping Thread
I just got home from program and it went pretty good. We had to write things that we are proud of about are self,and I wrote that I write my feelings out in my journal,but have a hard time expressing them verbally and what we would like to change,I wrote about my behavior and actions that deal with SI and my illness. The other class we talked about anger and how to deal and cope with anger,so my day went pretty well. I am feeling pretty good,even though I have a hard time forgiving myself for doing SI,that is what I have a hard time doing. Things are going pretty good so far,just hanging in there and going to lay down for awhile and take it easy. I just want to feel like myself again and that is the hard part,cause I do not like the way I feel,but I know that it will take time to feel like my own self again. I hope everyone here is doing ok.I know that I need to work on my self-esteem and dealing with my emotions,and it will happen,not over night,it takes time and I have come all long way,but it is the slips up of SI that I do not like. I just wanted to check in and post how I am doing. I will be back on the bus later,going to lay down for awhile. Be back soon
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
Candy's Coping Thread
I took a nap and when I woke up,my boy-friend came over and he was not feeling well,so we had to go to the ER,he was put on antiobtics,not sure that I spell that right,we just got home. I am soo tired,cause the ER,takes all long time. I am glad that you like my Avatar,yes I like Hello Kitty. I have finished with my coping folder,I put them in a three ring notebook and punched holes,I just have to do other things to it yet. I have tomorrow off and I have my case-manager coming over and my nurse who does my medications. Besides that I am still feeling anxious and I hate feeling like that,it is getting on my nerves. I never experience panic attacks before and they are scary,and it does not help when they get so bad that I feel like doing SI,when I get like that. I hate feeling that way. How do you put pictures like that before where you write,I never had any ideal how you did that? If you could help me out,I will be grateful.
I am doing ok,just feeling anxious and I hate it!!!!!!!!!!!! My case-manager is coming over at 9am and there are alot of things that I need to talk to him about,I hope I do not have a rough night,and I am not trying to go like this,just needed to vent. I will be up for awhile and I will be on the bus later,before I go to bed. Be back soon.
I am doing ok,just feeling anxious and I hate it!!!!!!!!!!!! My case-manager is coming over at 9am and there are alot of things that I need to talk to him about,I hope I do not have a rough night,and I am not trying to go like this,just needed to vent. I will be up for awhile and I will be on the bus later,before I go to bed. Be back soon.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I will be going to bed real soon,cause I am getting tired and I have a busy day tomorrow. I already took my medications and my boy-friend went home. I am going to keep myself busy,buy doing positive things,it is my day off from program,so I have alot of things to keep me busy. I hate when the anxiety starts,cause half the time I do not know when it will hit me and that is scary for me,because how do I stop the anxiety from going into a panic attack,when I do not know when it will hit me. That is sooo scary for me,cause I get so tired it. Even dealing with my illness Borderline Personality Disorder is not easy either,it can be rough to deal with that as well.When I wrote the letter to my illness I was telling it off,like you are not going to win,that I will conquer you,something like that,and when I got done,it made me feel better inside,but I also need to work on my self-esteem and how to cope and deal with the systems of my illness,not sure if I spell that right. I am proud of myself today for not doing any SI,and that was not easy,but I made it. I am going to relax for awhile and then go to bed. I hope everyone has a great night and I will be back on the bus tomorrow,and post some new coping skills that I have learned today,I am to tired to do it tonight. Have a great night
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I did not get a good night sleep,last night cause I could not relax,and this morning I got my cleaning done and my case-manager came over and we had a great talk and he read the letter that I wrote and he told me to keep it,it was the anger that I was feeling about my illness which is Borderline Personality Disorder and I hate the it,it is the way I am feeling about it.My chest is feeling tight,so I am not sure it is the anxiety that I am feeling,or the fact that I did not get enough sleep. So far my day is going pretty good. I have things to do to keep me busy,but I think that I need a nap first. I know so much about my illness there is no medications that can treat it,just the systoms,if I spell that right,that go along with the illness,and of course my program does not have any and even though I have been there for almost 7 years, I have improved alot,but at this point I am having some rough days. I know that there are people on the bus that have this illness,and you are welcome to post as well. I am doing the best I can and that is all I can do. I hope everyone here is doing ok. I just wanted to let everyone know how I am doing. I feel tired,tightness in my chest.My case-manager wants me to keep that letter that I wrote and it made me feel good to write it. I am taking it one minute at a time. I will be back on later
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I am doing pretty good. I did some positive things for myself today:
1) I wrote in my journal
2) I took my medications on time
2) I did not do any SI today.
I know there are alot of other things that I still have to do,like working out of my coping box,writing affirmations,I want to do it,I just need to push myself more. I am tired today and I took a long nap,cause I needed it.I just have a hard time movitating myself to do things and the more I say I will do it later,I never get to it. I have been feeling anxious,cause my nurse who does my medications,told me the tightness in my chest is due to anxiety and I never new that before. I have been doing things today that are positive,just wish I did more. I am watching a movie on Lifetime and it is snowing out. I am using my coping skills more now,but I need to use it more often than I have been.I am going to watch t.v tonight and do something out of my coping box tonight,if I have to push myself,which I always have to do. I am taking it one minute at a time. I will be back on the bus later
1) I wrote in my journal
2) I took my medications on time
2) I did not do any SI today.
I know there are alot of other things that I still have to do,like working out of my coping box,writing affirmations,I want to do it,I just need to push myself more. I am tired today and I took a long nap,cause I needed it.I just have a hard time movitating myself to do things and the more I say I will do it later,I never get to it. I have been feeling anxious,cause my nurse who does my medications,told me the tightness in my chest is due to anxiety and I never new that before. I have been doing things today that are positive,just wish I did more. I am watching a movie on Lifetime and it is snowing out. I am using my coping skills more now,but I need to use it more often than I have been.I am going to watch t.v tonight and do something out of my coping box tonight,if I have to push myself,which I always have to do. I am taking it one minute at a time. I will be back on the bus later
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I am doing pretty good night just relax and watching t.v. The anxiety level went down somewhat and the chest pain is not as bas as it was earlier. I have program tomorrow and I am looking forward to going in and hopeful I will pick up some coping skills that I can post here,so about that. I hope that everyone is doing good. I know that I can get though this night,without my anxiety getting to bad,but I know that I can always post on my coping thread and that helps me alot. I wrote in my journal and that helps me to get my feelings out that were bothering me,and that
were uncomfortable for me to deal with. I am starting to feel better and I hope that I can keep that feeling for the rest of the night,but if I can not I will be back on the bus. Just wanted to stop in and say hello
I will be back on the bus later on. Just trying to focus on other things then my anxiety and the thoughts of SI. I am taking in one minute at a time
Be back soon
were uncomfortable for me to deal with. I am starting to feel better and I hope that I can keep that feeling for the rest of the night,but if I can not I will be back on the bus. Just wanted to stop in and say hello
I will be back on the bus later on. Just trying to focus on other things then my anxiety and the thoughts of SI. I am taking in one minute at a timeBe back soon
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I am watching t.v and I did not do anything out of my coping box tonight,I feel bad,but I know there will be tomorrow,I keep saying that,what happen is that my boy-friend and I was watching a good movie and we got on to the internet and played checkers and before I knew it was getting late. I have program tomorrow and I when I get home I will do the stuff that is in it,I hate when I want to do something that is fun,I keep putting it off,I need to change that. I have done positive things today and I am proud of myself for that.I am feeling alot better than I was earlier,but when I get to program I feel more anxious,cause there are so many people there,and even though I know them all,I still feel anxiuos,I took my medication for the night and I will be going to bed real soon, Here is a inspiring Quote for you all and I like it to:
Never,Never,Never give up!!!!
Here is one more:
Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm
I hope you like them and I wanted to add them here. I hope everyone has a great night and I will be back on the bus tomorrow evening. I am just taking it one minute at a time. I am doing ok. Have a great night.
See everyone tomorrow
Never,Never,Never give up!!!!
Here is one more:
Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm
I hope you like them and I wanted to add them here. I hope everyone has a great night and I will be back on the bus tomorrow evening. I am just taking it one minute at a time. I am doing ok. Have a great night.
See everyone tomorrow
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candy's Coping Thread
I had a good day at program,but when I got home I got more frustrated,it seems like everytime that I need something from the doctor and they want to see me first,that part I can understand,but to tell me to go to the ER,when it is not a Emergency,makes me mad,I have gone to these doctors for a long time,and I need something they do not want to help.My skin doctor had left,which I told them and I need some cream they want me to wait. I am just venting my angry right now. I get so frustrated sometimes and it I just need to vent how I feel. I had a good day other wise and I feel tired out. I am going to lay down afterwards and take a nap,then I will get up and do something to keep me busy and to help me cope with how I am feeling. I am just posting how I felt,when I get frustrated.I am going to have a good evening and not let anything bother me. I hope that everyone here is doing ok. I am going to relax and take it easy. I will be on the bus soon
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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balletomane
- one of us
- Posts: 13705
- Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:54 am
would it help to write a letter? docs can be frustrating. i wonder why not with that md they include "tact" and "bedside manner", considering a few of them really need it 
hope your relaxation time goes well.
hope your relaxation time goes well.
-marya hornbacher
spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)
Candy's Coping Thread
Thanks for the advice, I finally got a hold of my family doctor and he called the cream in for my skin,but I will not be able to get it till tomorrow,cause the drugstore does not have it in,so I have cream here to use till then.I slept to long and I still did not get a chance to work out of my coping box,I am getting frustrated with myself,but I get so tired from being at program so long that I get so tired. I am doing pretty good night and keeping myself busy,my boy-friend and I are watching a movie right now and it is pretty good. I slept to long that I totally forgot my medication and I am not happy with that either,but I make sure that I take them before I go to bed, I feel good just frustrated from what happen and some anxiety,but I am hanging in there. I had a thought of doing SI,but I stop myself,by doing something positive for myself and looking through a magazine helped me till my boy-friend got here,so I am proud of myself for that. I just wanted to let everyone know how I am doing and that I am trying to get myself back on track right now,cause I have SI a few times,and I know that it will take time and not to puinsh myself,but that is hard not to do,when I am trying to feel better fast. I am going to watch t.v and I will be back on the bus later
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
-
angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
sorry i havent been around.
i have been struggling myself,
with anxiety and eating disorder issues.
and i have been feeling depressed
i have been reading your coping place,
have been following what you post here,
i dont know what to say right now, im just out of it right now.
im sorry
but i want you know that im here for you
i have been struggling myself,
with anxiety and eating disorder issues.
and i have been feeling depressed
i have been reading your coping place,
have been following what you post here,
i dont know what to say right now, im just out of it right now.
im sorry
but i want you know that im here for you
Candy's Coping Thread
I am sorry that you are not doing good,either am I. I am always here for you. I am watching t.v and just relaxing. My-boy-friend is helping get through this night,cause I am not feeling so great myself. Here are two qutoes,hope that I spell that right, I hope everyone likes them:
I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do,but to the best you can do.
I just wanted to add them here,cause I know that I am not doing so great and I thought that they would make others feel better. I am hanging in there and doing the best I can do,but it is not always here,but I am trying.
I did some craft work in my day treatment program group,which is one of the groups that I have,it was alot of fun and I enjoy myself. I am going to finish this movie and I will be back on later before I go to bed. take care,and that is what I am doing,taking care of myself.
I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do,but to the best you can do.
I just wanted to add them here,cause I know that I am not doing so great and I thought that they would make others feel better. I am hanging in there and doing the best I can do,but it is not always here,but I am trying.
I did some craft work in my day treatment program group,which is one of the groups that I have,it was alot of fun and I enjoy myself. I am going to finish this movie and I will be back on later before I go to bed. take care,and that is what I am doing,taking care of myself.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
hi candy thanks for posting in my coping space,
sorry that you are strugglign too,
we just have to hang in there and keep trying.
i posted some stuff in my coping space , i think it will help you ,
im going to watch a movie now,
and im going to drink some coffee,
at least right now i dont have any anxiety which is good, its really rare the moments that i dont have anxiety.
im always anxious.
sorry that you are strugglign too,
we just have to hang in there and keep trying.
i posted some stuff in my coping space , i think it will help you ,
im going to watch a movie now,
and im going to drink some coffee,
at least right now i dont have any anxiety which is good, its really rare the moments that i dont have anxiety.
im always anxious.
Candy's Coping Thread
I am glad that you got my letter from your post,and I have been reading some of the stuff. My boy-friend just left and I hate it when he leaves,cause I start to think to myself will I be all right alone,cause when I am alone and I feel like doing SI,I get scared and when he is here I feel safe and that I will know I will be ok. That is why I need to start using my coping box when he is not here,so I can get into practice in using it. I am so mad that I forgot my medications,I did not mean to I just fell alseep and when I got up,it was to late to take the early ones,but I did take the pills that I am suppose to before I go to bed. I went to program,took a nap,watch a good movie and play checkers on the computer and they were all positive things that I did today. I have my coping skills,but my problem is that I have a hard using them when I need to,or I get busy doing something else. I need to make the time to use them,before the urge of SI starts,and I have to start making punishing with that one,easy said some days. I am going to watch t.v for awhile and get ready to go to bed,cause I have to get up early to go to program,but I promise that I will be back on the bus tomorrow evening and I will have more to post on the bus. Everyone have a great night. I am taking it one minute at a time and I will take care of myself.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
-
angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
hi candy:
i have an idea for you to use your coping skills;
what you can do is take small pieces of paper and write on each piece of paper a coping skill,
you can put the pieces in a small envelope and when you feel like SI you take 3 pieces of paper with a coping skill written on them, and you do those 3 coping skills, but one at a time ,
for example if the paper says to write in a journal, take like 15 minutes writing in your journal, if you still have the urge to Si, keep going with the other coping skill that you took out of the envelope, if its drawing, you take the time you need to, and so on, if by the time the third coping skill hasnt work , you take out 3 more coping cards, and keep doing the same until the urge to SI goes away,
i hope that this helps you to use your coping skills
have a good night !
bye for now
i have an idea for you to use your coping skills;
what you can do is take small pieces of paper and write on each piece of paper a coping skill,
you can put the pieces in a small envelope and when you feel like SI you take 3 pieces of paper with a coping skill written on them, and you do those 3 coping skills, but one at a time ,
for example if the paper says to write in a journal, take like 15 minutes writing in your journal, if you still have the urge to Si, keep going with the other coping skill that you took out of the envelope, if its drawing, you take the time you need to, and so on, if by the time the third coping skill hasnt work , you take out 3 more coping cards, and keep doing the same until the urge to SI goes away,
i hope that this helps you to use your coping skills
have a good night !
bye for now
-
angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
This is a list of alternatives to Self Harm that you might like to try instead.
Elastic Band
If you want to experience the pain you get when you Self Harm, try wearing an elastic band around your wrist. Whenever you get the urge to hurt yourself snap it against you wrist.
Ice Cubes
This one is also good if you want to experience the pain of Self Harm. Hold an ice cube in your hand (or several cubes if they are small) until your hand starts hurting. If you need more pain than this provides, you could try squeezing the ice cubes in your hand.
5/4/3/2/1
If it's control that you want to experience with Self harm, this might help you. Try and name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can smell, 2 things you can touch and 1 thing you like about yourself.
Playdough
This is good for expressing anger as well as an alternative to Self Harm. For this you need to make some playdough (red if you are using it for Self Harm). Put the playdough where you want to cut and use a *blunt* knife to cut through it. If you want to use it for anger, the process of making it (kneading the dough etc) will help to express the anger and also by squeezing and punching it, you will be able to express the anger you are feeling. If you want a recipe for playdough, just let me know
)
Marker Pens and Food Colouring
This is good to use if you like the blood of Self Harm. Use a red marker pen or felt tip pen and draw a mark where you would usually cut. Do it the same as you would if you were cutting, so if you do small, angry cuts, do the same with the pen. If you need something more you can add food colouring to the mark you have just made to represent the blood.
Music
Depending on how you are feeling when you get the urge to Self Harm, listening to music can sometimes help... get up and dance along to it or sit and cry... listen to whichever sort of music feels good for you at the time.
Have a Bath or Shower
If you are feeling tense then this is a good one to do. The water and the temperature should ease the feelings of tension and help you to relax.
Talk to a Mate
This is good for however you feel too. If you have an understanding friend that you can trust, then phone them or meet them online or whatever and just let rip. If you are angry then shout and yell at them, if you are sad then cry your eyes out. Just use your friend as a venting ground until you feel better.
Keep a Diary (Journal)
If you don't feel comfortable or able to express how you feel out loud, you might find it helpful to keep a diary and write down how you feel in there... again, let rip. If you are worried about people seeing what you have written then it might help to buy a lockable diary and keep it with you.
Stay in a Public Place
If, like me, you don't feel comfortable harming yourself unless you are on your own, this might help. It will be hard, but staying out in public where there is a crowd of people might stop you from hurting yourself. It won't take away the urges but it might stop you from Self Harming while you are out.
Watch a Film (movie)
If you do this one, be careful which type of film you choose to see. Try and make sure that it won't have anything in it that will trigger you and try and make sure that it will *stop* you from wanting to Self Harm, rather than increase your urges.
Go for a Drive or Ride your Bike
Some friends have told me that this really helps. I haven't tried this method myself, but apparently it does work.
Relaxation/Deep Breathing
If you are feeling panicky or tense then this might help you to relax and get through your urges. There are lots of methods you can use, but a good basic one is to sit comfortably, back straight, close your eyes and breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try and fill your lungs as full as possible when you breathe in and empty your lungs as much as you can when you breathe out. Count slowly from 1 to 5 as you breathe in and count back from 5 to 1 when you breathe out... concentrating on your breathing the whole time.
Read a Book
Depending on how you are feeling at the time this might help. If you can find a good book that you can really get into and really enjoy then it might take away the intensity of your urges.
Exercise/Go for a Walk
This is good if you are feeling angry. Try and spend some time at a gym burning off all your feelings while you are there or you could do some sit-ups or press-ups at home. Maybe you could go for a walk. If you go for the walking option, it is usually a good idea to try and walk briskly if you can.
Do Some Housework
Yes, I am serious!!) Get the vacuum cleaner out and go through the house going over all the floors or do some washing up. Maybe you could scrub the bathroom clean or clean out all the kitchen cupboards.
Go Shopping
My favourite!!!) Different people like different sorts of shopping. Some enjoy supermarket shopping, some like clothes shopping, some people like going around market stalls... whatever is your favourite way to shop, do it!! It might help to leave your money and credit cards at home though... if you find something you like you can go back for it later. )
Treat yourself
For every hour that you don't harm yourself, treat yourself to something. I treat myself to chocolate - it's no good for dieters but it works for me!) Maybe treat yourself to an hour online researching your ideal holiday or something like that?
If you aren't sure how you are feeling, then I've added a list below of feelings and things that you can try to relieve the feelings. If you can think of anything I can add to the list please let me know)
Sad, melancholic, depressed or unhappy
Relax in a warm bath
Curl up under a big warm duvet with a hot drink and a good book
Put on some calming, relaxing music and rub baby oil or moisturiser into the parts of you that you want to cut
Phone a mate and have a chat about whatever takes your fancy
Take yourself off to bed with a trayful of treats
Visit a good friend
Angry, restless or frustrated
Rip up an old piece of clothing
Try and tear up a thick cardboard box
Smash an empty soft drinks bottle against a wall
Crunch up soft drinks cans
Go to the gym and hit out at one of those punchbag thingybobs
Use a pillow or cushion and bash it against a wall
Rip up as many pages of an old newspaper as you can in one go
Use playdough to take out all your feelings
Go for a walk and break up any sticks you find along the way
Do some housework
Do some exercise/go for a walk
Needing to feel something, feeling depersonalised, feeling unreal or dissociating
Take some ice into your hands and squeeze it *hard*
Put a frozen pack of peas (or whatever) on the area you want to hurt
Bite into or chew something (food-wise) that tastes hot or nasty
Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it hard
Have a cold bath or shower
Needing to focus on something
Play a game on the computer that requires concentration
Find something in the room and examine it closely. Write a detailed description of it including as much information as you can and then try and list all it's possible uses. Try and get the list to 25 - if you can find that many uses try and find 40
Open up a search engine and do a search for the first word that comes into your head. Go to each page in turn
Start off at one web page and follow links from that site to other sites and see how far away from the original topic you can get
Elastic Band
If you want to experience the pain you get when you Self Harm, try wearing an elastic band around your wrist. Whenever you get the urge to hurt yourself snap it against you wrist.
Ice Cubes
This one is also good if you want to experience the pain of Self Harm. Hold an ice cube in your hand (or several cubes if they are small) until your hand starts hurting. If you need more pain than this provides, you could try squeezing the ice cubes in your hand.
5/4/3/2/1
If it's control that you want to experience with Self harm, this might help you. Try and name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can smell, 2 things you can touch and 1 thing you like about yourself.
Playdough
This is good for expressing anger as well as an alternative to Self Harm. For this you need to make some playdough (red if you are using it for Self Harm). Put the playdough where you want to cut and use a *blunt* knife to cut through it. If you want to use it for anger, the process of making it (kneading the dough etc) will help to express the anger and also by squeezing and punching it, you will be able to express the anger you are feeling. If you want a recipe for playdough, just let me know
)Marker Pens and Food Colouring
This is good to use if you like the blood of Self Harm. Use a red marker pen or felt tip pen and draw a mark where you would usually cut. Do it the same as you would if you were cutting, so if you do small, angry cuts, do the same with the pen. If you need something more you can add food colouring to the mark you have just made to represent the blood.
Music
Depending on how you are feeling when you get the urge to Self Harm, listening to music can sometimes help... get up and dance along to it or sit and cry... listen to whichever sort of music feels good for you at the time.
Have a Bath or Shower
If you are feeling tense then this is a good one to do. The water and the temperature should ease the feelings of tension and help you to relax.
Talk to a Mate
This is good for however you feel too. If you have an understanding friend that you can trust, then phone them or meet them online or whatever and just let rip. If you are angry then shout and yell at them, if you are sad then cry your eyes out. Just use your friend as a venting ground until you feel better.
Keep a Diary (Journal)
If you don't feel comfortable or able to express how you feel out loud, you might find it helpful to keep a diary and write down how you feel in there... again, let rip. If you are worried about people seeing what you have written then it might help to buy a lockable diary and keep it with you.
Stay in a Public Place
If, like me, you don't feel comfortable harming yourself unless you are on your own, this might help. It will be hard, but staying out in public where there is a crowd of people might stop you from hurting yourself. It won't take away the urges but it might stop you from Self Harming while you are out.
Watch a Film (movie)
If you do this one, be careful which type of film you choose to see. Try and make sure that it won't have anything in it that will trigger you and try and make sure that it will *stop* you from wanting to Self Harm, rather than increase your urges.
Go for a Drive or Ride your Bike
Some friends have told me that this really helps. I haven't tried this method myself, but apparently it does work.
Relaxation/Deep Breathing
If you are feeling panicky or tense then this might help you to relax and get through your urges. There are lots of methods you can use, but a good basic one is to sit comfortably, back straight, close your eyes and breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try and fill your lungs as full as possible when you breathe in and empty your lungs as much as you can when you breathe out. Count slowly from 1 to 5 as you breathe in and count back from 5 to 1 when you breathe out... concentrating on your breathing the whole time.
Read a Book
Depending on how you are feeling at the time this might help. If you can find a good book that you can really get into and really enjoy then it might take away the intensity of your urges.
Exercise/Go for a Walk
This is good if you are feeling angry. Try and spend some time at a gym burning off all your feelings while you are there or you could do some sit-ups or press-ups at home. Maybe you could go for a walk. If you go for the walking option, it is usually a good idea to try and walk briskly if you can.
Do Some Housework
Yes, I am serious!!
) Get the vacuum cleaner out and go through the house going over all the floors or do some washing up. Maybe you could scrub the bathroom clean or clean out all the kitchen cupboards.Go Shopping
My favourite!!!
) Different people like different sorts of shopping. Some enjoy supermarket shopping, some like clothes shopping, some people like going around market stalls... whatever is your favourite way to shop, do it!! It might help to leave your money and credit cards at home though... if you find something you like you can go back for it later. )Treat yourself
For every hour that you don't harm yourself, treat yourself to something. I treat myself to chocolate - it's no good for dieters but it works for me!
) Maybe treat yourself to an hour online researching your ideal holiday or something like that?If you aren't sure how you are feeling, then I've added a list below of feelings and things that you can try to relieve the feelings. If you can think of anything I can add to the list please let me know
)Sad, melancholic, depressed or unhappy
Relax in a warm bath
Curl up under a big warm duvet with a hot drink and a good book
Put on some calming, relaxing music and rub baby oil or moisturiser into the parts of you that you want to cut
Phone a mate and have a chat about whatever takes your fancy
Take yourself off to bed with a trayful of treats
Visit a good friend
Angry, restless or frustrated
Rip up an old piece of clothing
Try and tear up a thick cardboard box
Smash an empty soft drinks bottle against a wall
Crunch up soft drinks cans
Go to the gym and hit out at one of those punchbag thingybobs
Use a pillow or cushion and bash it against a wall
Rip up as many pages of an old newspaper as you can in one go
Use playdough to take out all your feelings
Go for a walk and break up any sticks you find along the way
Do some housework
Do some exercise/go for a walk
Needing to feel something, feeling depersonalised, feeling unreal or dissociating
Take some ice into your hands and squeeze it *hard*
Put a frozen pack of peas (or whatever) on the area you want to hurt
Bite into or chew something (food-wise) that tastes hot or nasty
Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it hard
Have a cold bath or shower
Needing to focus on something
Play a game on the computer that requires concentration
Find something in the room and examine it closely. Write a detailed description of it including as much information as you can and then try and list all it's possible uses. Try and get the list to 25 - if you can find that many uses try and find 40
Open up a search engine and do a search for the first word that comes into your head. Go to each page in turn
Start off at one web page and follow links from that site to other sites and see how far away from the original topic you can get
-
angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
If you've tried the stuff I've already mentioned and it hasn't helped, you might like to try some or all of the distractions I've listed below:
Pump up the volume of your favourite music and doodle on a piece of paper in time to it
Spin yourself round on the spot until you get dizzy
Buy a colouring book and some colouring pencils and colour in some of the pictures
Curl up in bed with a soft toy
Do some finger painting with food - ice cream, chocolate pudding, jam, custard... try all sorts of different things
Get creative - try writing poetry or a story or drawing or painting how you feel
Go for a walk and smile at everyone you see. If you are feeling braver, say hello to everyone too.
Pop bubblewrap
Follow all the links on my Links Page, then follow all the links from the pages I'm linked to, then all the links to the pages they are linked to... keep going for as long as you can.
Start at one page on the internet and follow all the links from that page and see how far away from the original subject you can get - try following links so that you go from depression sites to sites about positive things
Plan your ideal holiday in your mind and then try and research it all online - destinations, prices, tickets, what there is to do when you get there... as much as you can find.
Look into learning yoga or meditation
Go through magasines and catalogues and cut out all the words and pictures that make you feel good
Hug a soft toy
Take your imagination on a journey to a favourite place
Create a safe place for yourself - somewhere you can go when you are feeling bad
Make a list of all the things that are good about yourself
Make a list of affirmations for yourself and read them aloud to yourself
Buy yourself a special plant and take extra special care of it
Do something for someone - go shopping for them, take their dog for a walk etc
Do something for yourself - spend some time doing what *you* want to do
Plan your next holiday and do as much of it as you can online. You don't have to book anything but plan as much as you can right down to the smallest detail
Join a Self Harm mailing list or the Self Harm newsgroup and post to it
Phone a friend and have a chat (thanks for this suggestion, Mazzie!)
Arrange to see or go out with a friend (thanks for this one too, Mazzie!!)
Go to an online gaming site and try out all the games. When you've done them all go back to the first one and try and improve on the first attempt
Create a neopet - it really does work - I spent 7 hours on the site when I first signed up! Click on my neopet to join.
Pump up the volume of your favourite music and doodle on a piece of paper in time to it
Spin yourself round on the spot until you get dizzy
Buy a colouring book and some colouring pencils and colour in some of the pictures
Curl up in bed with a soft toy
Do some finger painting with food - ice cream, chocolate pudding, jam, custard... try all sorts of different things
Get creative - try writing poetry or a story or drawing or painting how you feel
Go for a walk and smile at everyone you see. If you are feeling braver, say hello to everyone too.
Pop bubblewrap
Follow all the links on my Links Page, then follow all the links from the pages I'm linked to, then all the links to the pages they are linked to... keep going for as long as you can.
Start at one page on the internet and follow all the links from that page and see how far away from the original subject you can get - try following links so that you go from depression sites to sites about positive things
Plan your ideal holiday in your mind and then try and research it all online - destinations, prices, tickets, what there is to do when you get there... as much as you can find.
Look into learning yoga or meditation
Go through magasines and catalogues and cut out all the words and pictures that make you feel good
Hug a soft toy
Take your imagination on a journey to a favourite place
Create a safe place for yourself - somewhere you can go when you are feeling bad
Make a list of all the things that are good about yourself
Make a list of affirmations for yourself and read them aloud to yourself
Buy yourself a special plant and take extra special care of it
Do something for someone - go shopping for them, take their dog for a walk etc
Do something for yourself - spend some time doing what *you* want to do
Plan your next holiday and do as much of it as you can online. You don't have to book anything but plan as much as you can right down to the smallest detail
Join a Self Harm mailing list or the Self Harm newsgroup and post to it
Phone a friend and have a chat (thanks for this suggestion, Mazzie!)
Arrange to see or go out with a friend (thanks for this one too, Mazzie!!)
Go to an online gaming site and try out all the games. When you've done them all go back to the first one and try and improve on the first attempt
Create a neopet - it really does work - I spent 7 hours on the site when I first signed up! Click on my neopet to join.
Candy's Coping Thread
I got your list of coping skills that you sent me,thanks so much. I am just woke up and I am getting ready to go to program,I am going to have a nice day. I will be back on the bus later on when I get home. I am doing ok and I had a rough night sleeping,so I will probably take a nap later on. I will be back on later.
Candy
Candy
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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