Candys Coping Thread

Candy · Post by **Candy** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 2:00 pm

I just want to say hi

and that I am doing ok,I could not relax last night,and I finally after I took my medicatons and still could not sleep,I decided to take a warm bath, it helped me alot. I hate these painc attacks,cause I do not know when they are coming,and when they do,it is to late for me that I can not do anything.I have program this morning and I hope to have some real good information to post here today,if not I will add my own. I will be back on the post this eveing and I am doing the best I can. When I have panic atttacks that is when I feel like doing SI the most. I am just taking it one minute at a time and I will be back on later.

Candy · Post by **Candy** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:02 pm

I had a rough day today, I had another slip with SI,and the anxiety was so bad, I feel real terrible inside and I do not like what I did. My doctor decreased my Clonazepam down to 1/2 a mg,four times from taking it 1 mg for 4 times day,she thinks the increased of medication could make the anxiety worse,I never heard of that before. I wished I could post some coping skills here,but I do not have any,I am sorry,but if anyone has anything to post that would help me,please do so. My systoms are starting to reappear,and I am getting very scared., I hope that I spell that word right. I feel terrible inside and I want the anxiety to go away,but before I can do anything to stop it from going into a real bad panic attack,it is to late? I do not know what to do. I feel like I am going backwards or I am afraid of going backwards,that I am sooo scared. I hate this feeling that I am having. I plan on being on the bus later to write some more,just want to lay down for awhile. I need a hug right now. I feel so terrible inside and I feel worse about what I have done. I am taking in one minute at a time. I need to know that someone cares right now. I hope everyone is doing ok. I will be back later on.

one out of none · Post by **one out of none** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:12 pm

Hi Candy,

I care, and I'm sory that you're struggling right now. Just try regulating your breathing, and focus on that, maybe that will help with the panic. Counting regular breaths and maybe consciously trying to focus on something else. For example, sometimes, I look at a picture and try to think about all the different little details, and list them in my head. Maybe that would work for you, even of you look around the room and try to list all the things in it, or something. Just trying to focus on something beyond you and the feeling of panic. Maybe that would help, alongside the breathing to ease it a little.

Here are some hugs for you.

Candy · Post by **Candy** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:22 pm

Thank you for the hugs and the suggestions and I will try that tonight and I will post later how it has helped me. I need to focus on something else right now and I need to do that. I am going to lay down now,but thanks for the advice,that is going to help me alot. Again thanks. I will be back on later.

Candy · Post by **Candy** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 2:17 am

I just woke up from a nap,and I am feeling calm right now,and that is the way I always want to feel,cause the panic attacks are not so fun. I did not do anything from my coping box today,cause I was so tired out that I just needed to rest. The two things that I like about myself are:
1) I am a helpful person

2) I am a lovable person

Two things that I am good at are:
1) I am good at coloring

:
2) I am good at drawing

The only thing that I did positive today,was go to program,post on the bus and took a nap.
I hate it when I forget things when I get into a state of panic and I can not remember what I did or say,that makes me nervous. If anyone gets any ideals for me to help me cope better and deal with my emotions or thougths,please post on this bus. I feel alone right now and I could use a hug. I am glad that I posted tonight,cause it has helped me alot.I am doing ok and just taking it slowly,till I feel like myself again. I just wanted to let you know how I am doing. I will be on the bus later. I am coping the best I can.

Candy · Post by **Candy** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 4:11 am

I just want to let you know that I am feeling somewhat better,the anxiety is not there at this point and I do not feel anxious like I did yesterday. I have been watching some good movies on Lifetime and they are funny. I also have been writing affirmations not just on the bus,but also in my notebook. I know that I suffer low-esteem,and if anyone that has some information on how to increase it,could you please post it here;plus I am dealing with the systems of my illness,not sure if I spell that word right. I am going to watch more t.v and then I will be back on the post. I am trying to do positive things for myself,even though I slip with SI today,and I am not feeling good about that,the anxiety was so high today,that I was not even acting myself. I am just taking it one minute at a time. I will be back later on the bus. take care!!!

Candy · Post by **Candy** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 5:59 am

I have been watching Grace and Wil,not sure if I spell that right,it is on lifetime,and it is a funny comedy.Since the doctor decreased my medication,my anxiety is not high at all,but I still feel guilty for doing SI,and I feel the need to say I am sorry to everyone,but the truth is I need to say I am sorry to myself,my self-esteem is so low,that I am having trouble bringing it up,but writing affirmations do help me. I have the day off tomorrow,so I am going to work on my coping skills more than I did,with the panic attacks that I had,I could not do anything. My therapist wants me to write a letter to my illness if it was another person, I do not understand what he is trying to tell me,since he did not have enough time to explain it to me,and he wants to read it. It does sound weird,but there most be a point to it.There are times that I feel parniod about things,like I am going to lose my boy-friend and I know that I lost people that were close to me,and I fear abandonment, I hate it when I have feelings that I do not like,but I have to keep telling myself that they are just that feelings. I am going to watch t.v for awhile,before I go to bed. I can not go for a walk where I live,cause we have snow here. Writing here instead of doing SI,is much better,but I had two bad days and I have to remember that tomorrow is going to be better,cause I have to make it for myself. I am just hanging in there. I will be back on later.

Candy · Post by **Candy** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 6:40 am

I am getting tired and I will be going to bed soon,I am going to do positive things for myself,cause I deserve it,we all here do.Besides sleeping and watching t.v, I know that I slip with SI,and tomorrow I am going to get back on track and make it better for myself.I going to put all my coping skills paper that I got from here in a folder and put stickers where my affirmations are.These are the positive things that I am going to do tomorrow.
1) write in my journal

2) go out for lunch with a friend

3) spend time with my boy-friend

4) work on my coping box

I will write them out,so I will remember what I have to do for myself,cause I deserve to love myself,and that is another issue that I need to work on,besides the anxiety and alot of things.I just want to wish everyone a good night and I will be back on tomorrow. Having this coping thread has helped me alot,and I need to keep it up,but also do other positive things for myself. For the past two days were the worst for me,and I was not even myself. I am just taking care of myself. I will be back on tomorrow. Have a good night everyone. I will be ok

plantt · Post by **plantt** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 6:50 am

night

Candy · Post by **Candy** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 6:52 am

I was in bed and I can not get to sleep,so I just decided to come back on line,hello to you too.I will get to sleep soon

Candy · Post by **Candy** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 7:03 am

I am going to take a nice warm bath and get some sleep,cause I can not keep my eyes open.I hope that everyone is doing well and I care about all of you and I will take care of myself also.I am going to take care of myself tomorrow and do good things for myself,I need it. I hope everyone has a great night,and I will be back on tomorrow. I feel very comfortable writing on the bus and I am glad to be here. Good night to everyone

angelic212 · Post by **angelic212** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 7:12 am

hi Candy!

im sorry that you are having trouble sleeping.

i cant sleep either,

im going to do some art work, and watch a movie
the reason i cant sleep at the moment is cause i took a really long nap this afternoon cause i was really emotionally tired.

if you need someone to talk to you can pm me.

i will go do some art work now.
also feel free to post in my coping space. and you can use the information on there too.

i hope that you manage to get some sleep tonight.

remember to use your coping skills if you feel like SI.

im here for you.

Candy · Post by **Candy** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 7:23 am

Hi thanks for the nice picture and I did send you a pm earlier and I do not know if you got it. Yes, I am going to use my coping thread and check out yours;plus use my coping skills instead of doing SI.I am glad that you are doing better, I wish I felt better after want I did to myself. I will use my coping skills and I will take care of myself,and you do the same thing. Here are some pictures for you:

Please take care of yourself tonight and I will do the same here. I will be ok. thanks

plantt · Post by **plantt** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 9:36 am

hopefully both of you having coping threads will work out well

both of you can use them as a coping method & maybe it'll be easier to remember to check the other persons...

or maybe it'll at least be something to reply to & all

Candy · Post by **Candy** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 3:42 pm

hi everyone

I am doing ok,I think that is a good ideal. I think it is going to take time for my anxiety level to get really back till the way it was,cause of the increased of my medications. I thought they were going to put me in the hospital cause I did,SI there and they did not,there are times I do not understand why they choose not to,and yes there are times I want to go in,but I am trying very hard to fight to stay out,cause it has been 7 years. I plan on keeping myself busy today and doing positive things and relax which I need the most right now. I agree with what you said on your post,and I am going to hang in there,cause I am going to fight it. I am going to write in my journal and I will be back on later. I am hanging in there.

take care everyone

angelic212 · Post by **angelic212** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 5:00 pm

hi candy:

how are you doing today?

im also going to try to keep myself busy today.

i managed to go to sleep at 4:50 am , but i didnt do anything negative.

i hope that you have a good weekend.

i will come by and check on you to see how you are doing..

take care of yourself and stay safe.

feel free to pm me if you need to.

Candy · Post by **Candy** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 9:50 pm

I had a good day so far, I wrote in my journal and I went out for lunch with a friend,we had a great time. They are taking me off my Clonazepam,if I spell that right,cause of decreasing my anxiety it is making me more anxious and I have chest pain. My mother is being verbally abusive to me and that is not helping me at all. I went to see my family doctor a couple weeks ago and he said I was fine,they are taking me off the medication slowly,cause they can not take me off it,right away,cause of the withdrawal,and she is going to put me on something else and I do not see her till March 7, I can not see here earlier cause she is booked up. I hate feeling like this,cause it scares me,and I am trying very hard to relax,my self-esteem is so low,cause of my mother's verbal abuse,and I am having trouble with that,it is hard to raise my self-esteem,with that kind of abuse. I hope you are doing ok. Is there any way that you can post something on self-esteem that is on your board to mine,if you do not mind,I do not know how to do that.I will leave that up to you. I am going to take it easy and relax,my boy-friend is coming over later,but I will be back on the bus later for sure,you are weclome to pm me as well.I know that I pm you yesterday,not sure if you got it.I hope you are doing good and I am that you are feeling well.My chest is so tight, I can not believe a medication can do this to,instead of taking away the anxiety it is making it so bad. I hate it. I will take care of myself and keep my mind busy and relax. I will be back on the bus later,that is a promise.I am just taking it one minute at a time.

Be back soon.

Candy · Post by **Candy** » Sat Feb 24, 2007 1:54 am

I woke up a little while ago,and I am watching t.v,I am doing best I can to help me relax,by trying to get my mind off things,I am doing good at one thing that has been real hard for me,is that I have not done any SI today and it was not easy,but I got through the day. I wish I felt better,but I am using my coping skills and trying to relax. There are two good things that I like about myself is:
1) I am a kind person

2) I am a smart person.

I did some positive things today:
1) I wrote in my journal

2) I went out for lunch with a friend

3) I took a nap

I am going to relax tonight and watch t.v. and take my medications. It is not easy to function when you do not feel well,but all I can do is hang in there and do the best I can. I am proud of myself for what I did,even though my self-esteem is very low.By writing these in the bus and in my notebook,it has helped me alot. I just need to read them on a daily basis. I hope everyone is doing good.I am hanging in there and taking it one minute at a time. I will be back on the bus later to check in.I will be ok.
Be back on real soon.

Candy · Post by **Candy** » Sat Feb 24, 2007 6:07 am

I just wanted to say that I am having a rough night,the anxiety attacks are pretty high,but I took my medications and trying to relax,but at least I did not do any SI,which is not easy for me,but I made it through it.I am having a hard time relaxing,but I will try and hopefull get some sleep, I am hanging in there and taking it one minute at a time. I just hope I will feel better soon. I will be back on later to check,then hopefully I will get some sleep.

Candy · Post by **Candy** » Sat Feb 24, 2007 3:27 pm

I had a real bad night last night,and I was so anxious,I could not relax,and I could not sit still. I hate when I feel like this,cause it is so scary. I just want to feel better. It took me awhile to get to sleep,and my chest was so tight. I did not hurt myself last night,even though the thought was there.I going to use my coping skills today,even though I used them yesterday,I am going to use more today.When I felt so restless and I could not sit still,I finally took a bath,it helped somewhat,but I had trouble sleeping,cause of my heart going so fast. The only thing that I can say to anyone,if you feel like the way I did,try taking a warm bath,or have someone there with you. I did,my boy-friend,but he fell alseep and it got me mad,cause I really needed him to stay up with me,but things are ok between us now. I want to feel calm and relax,and today that is what I am going to do.I try deep breathing,but it did not work for me,the bath helped,but it was getting so draning the way that I felt.If anyone has any suggestions that might help me,please post it here, I am doing everything that I can do,and it seems like it is not working. I will be back on the bus later. I am hanging in there.

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