your feelings at school

moo-moo · Post by **moo-moo** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 4:59 am

WHEN I AM AT SCHOOL. I FEEL ASHAMED OF MY SCARS AND EMBRASSED AT THE SAME TIME. I AM AN OUTCAST AT MY SCHOOL, SO I GET EVEN MORE DEPRESSED WHEN PEOPLE CALL ME NAMES. I HID MY LEGS AND MY ARMS FROM THE WHOLE WORLD, OR AT LEAST I TRY TO. MY ARMS, I HAVE not alot of SCARS SO I COULD GO OUT IN PUBLIC AND BE CONFIDENT ABOUT MY ARMS. BUT MY LEGS ON THE OTHER HAND IS A DIFFERENT STORY. WHENEVER WE HAD P.E., I WOULD ALLWAYS HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AND CHANGE IN THERE. PEOPLE WOULD ALWAYS ASK ME WHY I WOULD CHANGE IN THERE AND I WOULD JUST SHRUG THEM OFF AND WALK AWAY!!!

I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS TOPIC. I WAS PRETTY BORED SO I JUST MADE IT UP TO DISTRACT MYSELF FROM SM'ING.

P.S. HAVE ANY OF YOU GUYS HEARD OF THE TOWN CALLED PETALUMA?????????????? IT IS LOCATED IN THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA.

have any of you Heard of the school called CASA GRANDE? by any chance, it is located in petaluma ca

leemc77 · Post by **leemc77** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 10:24 pm

How do I feel at school? I'm the teacher! That is way scary to you and ME, I'm sure. I feel embarassed each and every day at work. It's not fun wearing long sleeves in the spring and having curious 9 and 10 year olds asking what happened to you and how come it keeps happening. Also, wondering what the other teachers think - since I have a depressing appearance and had to take a leave of absence this past year to go to the hospital. You take care moo-moo! I think you're great!

Leeanna

little pixie dust · Post by **little pixie dust** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 10:49 pm

School. Argh that awful word.

Thankfully i managed to get out pe alot,cause i speak 2 my support teacher then..i'm just a big unhappy geek.

barnabygirl · Post by **barnabygirl** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 8:37 pm

im in college,,, and when im in school feel two totally oposite things

1 i feel like im different then my friends, more different now then ever before,,,

2 i feel like a super student and ppl come to me wiht questions..

and thos two things really dont go very well together!!!! its confusing

flipflopfetish · Post by **flipflopfetish** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 1:19 am

I had no friends in eighth grade and i'm still finding it hard to believe that people might want to hang out with me now... but since i live in north cali and i'm kind of emo, i can easily justify wearing long sleeves... and i always wear jeans anyways

and yes of course i've heard of petaluma, i live quite near there. why?

Quiet little Angel · Post by **Quiet little Angel** » Sun Jul 30, 2006 12:12 pm

like people really don't care... and like i wouldn't care if they noticed my scars... they couldn't possibly make me talk about it!

Forever · Post by **Forever** » Wed Aug 30, 2006 1:12 pm

School is no doubt the hardest place to try and cope with what we all have to cope with. I stuggle with school everyday, the lonley helpless feeling of having people ask questions.

Hang in there, believe in yourself! You know yourself better than anyone else, school will eventually end and all the grate talents that you have will be able to be seen by the world.

Best of luck.

pinky · Post by **pinky** » Wed Aug 30, 2006 8:33 pm

hi Forever and welcome to BUS...have a cow...its a tradition...

well, i'm not in school anymore but still i hide my arms...i wear long sleeves in the summer when i go into town cause i dont want others to see...

take care moo-moo and i think this is a great topic...

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 9:11 pm

Though I know it's just the depression talking BUT

at school I feel as though learning is worthless. That I don't care anymore. That the teachers ignore me. That I hate all the students to a point of annoyance. At school I wonder if Nicole's coming, when I know she's not. At school I skip class and get high in the bathroom. I don't care if I pass or fail. I don't want to go at all. It's like a jail. I have to find ways to excape, and sometimes I do. My best moments are when I get up the nerve to walk out the door and just keep running. I go home where I belong. In bed. Back to sleep. Where I don't have to deal with teh reality my life has become. Alone.

kendra · Post by **kendra** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 10:19 pm

Interesting topic
Actually I love school, but I think a big part of feeling pretty comfortable is that I'm always cold anyway and nearly everyone wears long sleeves there (it's in San Francisco, it's always freezing, and of course I know where petaluma is

)
I did figure out I do need to be cautious when I'm stressed though since I'm more on edge and some parts of some classes can be triggering. In those instances it's probably safer since I can't run off anywere and harm myself, easily.

one out of none · Post by **one out of none** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 10:56 pm

School... I absolutely hated it. And I hear you with the PE thing too, I used to go change in the bathroom as well, and refuse to take off the heavy jumper, even when it was warm. I was in an all girls school, and I got bullied horribly. I still don't hang out with girls much even now, three years later.

I'd just like to say to you that I really understand where you're coming from. I went on to college, and it got so much better, in so many ways. So it does get better! It's interesting to hear from Kendra, who loves school, as well as those who don't like it so much.

kittyfever · Post by **kittyfever** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 1:02 am

I feel strange. I'm in college, but it's just as clicky as high school..perhaps more so. I often feel self concious even though most of my scars have faded, or are covered. Actually, they are probably unnoticeable. I'm not sure why I feel self concious though, it's not like anyone at school would even care--that's what happens when you're a "loner."

ProudPatriot07 · Post by **ProudPatriot07** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 5:20 am

I guess I had more of a problem with SI in high school, because I had to hide it. I was in marching band, and it's not a sport, but we girls often had to change in front of each other, and I always tried to make sure no one saw the scars.

Now I'm in college, and all my scars are near my feet, so I just wear socks and jeans or something to hide them. I still get nervous in situations like locker rooms, but for the most part, people aren't really looking at you (even though it seems like they are), and they're not looking at you trying to find the scars. I guess it's more of an issue if you have really bad scars or a whole lot of them, though.

wilson · Post by **wilson** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 3:43 pm

school i hated it. twards the end. in summer. i wore a jumper everyday. but its that time that someone really noticed i had a problem and now they are the reason im living. i dunno school stress and such made me SI more so. but it had its benifits. ie without school i wouldnt of ever met one of my closest friends.

im at uni now. and its really hot here so i wear heaps of braclet tthings and i put makeup on old scars and suck. people noticed and made comments and it got to me. i see uni so much like highschool. people judge and such. but its different to.

im blabbling now. i will shuttup

frankie6 · Post by **frankie6** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 4:16 pm

hey - hang in there. school must end eventually (as all good things do

).. seriously though, I don't think anybody likes school - it's a lousy period in life (and I think the ones that like it ending up marrying lowlives and having crappy jobs and crappy lives) - if you're anything a little bit interesting you'll have trouble at school, because you're different, and school's a place to be regular.
that said, I didn't like school much either. no scars or anything - just couldn't connect with people around me. I hope you got something you like to do or a place you feel good at (if not - find one, makes life a little bit easier, even nice). and to me university was a great improvement. you don't have to care about people so much anymore - you can sit alone and that's ok, you can choose your people to be with - not so many cliques anymore. to me at least, where I am (physically and personally).
By the way, wanted to say good for you for shrugging people off - I don't think I could do that in highschool, I cared too much about what they'd think. so I'm taking you're lead on that.
and if that doesn't work, just give it a couple of years... it'll get better!!

Anactoria · Post by **Anactoria** » Sat Feb 24, 2007 1:56 am

School has actually been pretty okay for me. I was bullied a lot in middle school, but high school is really quite awesome. I'm not "cool", but I have my own group of friends and a wide circle of acquaintances.

Changing for gym class can be a problem. I usually just take off my shirt extra quick, then put on my gym shirt even quicker and then put a hoodie over it. It's still cold here, so long sleeves are okay. Don't know what I'm going to do in the spring though.

Just my experiences.

Hope that school eventually gets better for you.

zombiepeople · Post by **zombiepeople** » Sat Feb 24, 2007 11:37 pm

Oh I hate school! I always wear long pants and a hoodie to cover all of my skin, and I hate it when people ask me questions about it. PE class sucks when I have to change and I get in trouble all the time for refusing to take off my hoodie during the class. I think it's great how you can shrug people off though. I can barely talk about it with my friends and if other people see scars and ask me about it, I tend to get really bitchy and start cussing and flipping people off.
Being an outcast at school is never fun and I'm sorry you feel so bad, but I really hope things can start to get better for you soon.

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