Feeling alone and angry

[Candy]

How do I deal with my feelings,when my doctor tells me that I have to take responsibility for my SH,it was the hardest thing to hear,cause it makes me feel more angry and alone with my illness,which is Borderline Personality Disorder. I want to do SH,so instead I wrote on the bus.I feel like I am the only person that that has this illness and I wish it would go away,I can not even accept it,cause it is to hard.It makes me feel like I am only one in the world that it is dealing with this and it makes me sad.When I left my doctor's office I was so hurt and just wanted to cry,cause I did not like hearing what she was telling me,even though it might be the truth. I need help not just from my friends,but the bus as well. I am frustrated with this illness,cause how do I cope with it and the slips that I make,through SH. I hope that someone out there understands how I feel,I just feel so alone inside and I do not like feeling this way. I am sorry for going on like this,but I am confused and mixed up right now. If anyone has any information that would be helpful to be,you can write to me or PM me. Where do I fit in? That is the question that I keep asking myself all the time. Just taking it one minute at a time. I do not feel so good inside right now.Thanks

[one out of none]

You are not alone with your SI or your BPD. I know that it can sometimes feel like it though. It's great that you came on bus instead of SI-ing, that's a positive thing that you should feel good about anyway.

Maybe if you talk to your T about coping with the slip ups, you can both come up with some practical measures that you can use to help you deal with things as they arise. Because as well as distractions, I feel that in my case anyway, I needed to figure out why I was SI-ing in the first place. This meant that I could deal with the root cause of it all, and then begin to properly deal with all the issues that were making me SI.

I don't have much experience of BPD myself, but I'm sure there's other bussers that would be able to help you out there.

So anyway, as regards dealing with feelings, I find writing to be good. I can be honest with the paper, because no one will read it, and by writing down all my horrible feelings I feel like I'm getting them out there. They have less of a hold on me, so to speak. Maybe that could help you too.

But keep posting when you need to. Sorry I didn't have many good ideas, but I hope you feel better soon.