Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
It will take away the strong emotional hateful feelings I have towards myself I am hoping,
- what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
I need to feel read pain to take the emotional pain away, it will bring relief,
- how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I just need relief, I am feeling SU and can't sleep with all of my thoughts and bad emotions running around in my head, in the long run I don't like it, but it's better than an OD, or a stay in the phosp or SU
- if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then? I know the relief will not last long, but the cut, I can at least look at it and that brings me some relief too
- what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then? distracting, I've been trying not to cut all night, it doesn't change the situation I'm in, nothing will, I can't forget the abuse
- how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?if it works, good
- what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? I'm a bad,bad person, who deserves it, I need relief from this emotional pain, the abuse from my ex was talked about at length yesterday with someone new, trust issues, PTSD, fear of being rejected,
- Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? I felt like cutting before, but not quite in this context.
- What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?I tried self-talk, distraction, self-soothing,
- How do I feel right now?
I want to cut
- How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
External pain will feel good, but relief from the emotional pain
- How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning? Relief, I hope, not sure how I will feel tomorrow morning, I used to feel guilty, but not anymore
- Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I can't avoid this stressor it happened it the past, was being brought up in the open again, talking about it for help and PSTD, I'm working on how to deal with it better in the future in therapy, but it's very hard atm
- Do I need to hurt myself?
Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.
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