my coping space

[irishpecas14]

ohh it sounds like you've been doing really well! congrats!

what bands did you put on the alternative rock cd? if you don't mind sharing...

[angelic212]

just wanted to say that im on a trip with my mom visiting my grandma, and that i havent kept this updated but iw ill tryt o keep this updated as much as ic an,

[plantt]

Hi Maria,
Didn't get to catch you online today so thought I'd say hi here =)

[angelic212]

wantin g to let you all know that im back at home now, so i will be able to keep this more updated now that i have my computer ,

hope that everyone is doing well.

[angelic212]

tonight i was feeling anxious and i was able to cope by watching a movie in my parents room, i felt safe there, my parents went out tonight and i felt pretty lonely so i went to their room and watched a dvd, i watched the movie aquamarine, i love this movie and now im going to color, my parents just came back so that s good

[angelic212]

1. Listen to my favourite music

2. Enjoy a long, warm, bubble bath

3. Go for a walk

4. Share a hug with a loved one

5. Relax outside

6. Exercise (of my choice)

7. Spiritual prayer

8. Attend a caring support group

9. Practice diaphragmatic breathing

10. Do "stretching" exercises

11. Reflect on my positive qualities: "I am…"

12. Watch the sunrise/sunset

13. Laugh

14. Concentrate on a relaxing scene

15. Create a collage representing "The Real Me"

16. Receive a message

17. Reflect on: "I appreciate…"

18. Write my thoughts and feelings in a personal journal

19. Attend a favourite athletic event

20. Do something adventurous, eg. skydiving

21. Read a special book or magazine

22. Sing/hum/whistle a happy tune

23. Swing/slide/teeter/totter

24. Play a musical instrument

25. Spiritual meditation

26. Work with plants, eg. gardening

27. Learn a new skill

28. See a special play, movie or concert

29. Workout with weights/equipment

30. Ride a bike or motorcycle

31. Make myself a nutritious meal

32. Draw/paint a picture

33. Swim/float/wade/relax in a pool/on the beach

34. Do aerobics/dance

35. Visit a special place I enjoy

36. Smile/say: "I love myself"

37. Take time to smell the roses (and other flowers I enjoy)

38. Imagine myself achieving my goals and dreams

39. Go horseback riding

40. Reflect on: "my most enjoyable memories"

41. Enjoy a relaxing nap

42. Visit a museum/art gallery

43. Practice Yoga

44. Relax in a whirlpool/sauna

45. Enjoy a cool, refreshing glass of water or fruit juice.

46. Enjoy the beauty of nature

47. Count my blessings: "I am thankful…"

48. Play as I did as a child

49. Star gaze

50. "Window shop"

51. Daydream

52. Tell myself the loving words I want to hear from others

53. Attend a special workshop

54. Go sailing/paddle boating

55. Reward myself with a special gift I can afford

56. Take myself on a vacation

57. Create with clay/potter

58. Practice positive affirmations

59. Pat an animal

60. Watch my favourite TV show

61. Reflect on my successes: "I can…"

62. Write a poem expressing my feelings

63. Make a bouquet of flowers

64. RELAX: watch the clouds

65. Make myself something nice

66. Visit a part/woods/forest

67. Read positive, motivational literature

68. Reflect on: "What I value most in life!"

69. Phone a special friend

70. Go on a picnic in a beautiful setting

71. Enjoy a gourmet cup of herbal tea/decaf coffee

72. Participate in a favourite sport/game/ recreation

73. Practice a relaxation exercise (or listen to a relaxation tape)

74. Practice the art of forgiveness

75. Treat myself to a nutritious meal at a favourite restaurant/café

76. Participate in a hobby

77. Create my own unique list of "self nuturing" activitie

[angelic212]

TAKING CARE OF YOUR BODY
• Get sleep if you need it.
• Use aromatherapy.
• Get a facial or a massage.
• Get reflexology.
• Eat something good for you.
• Go for a walk.
• Do a meditation or relaxation exercises.
• Listen to what your body needs.
• Ask yourself if you need to eat.

ART AND PLAYFUL ACTIVITY
• Blow bubbles.
• Play cards.
• Make a collage.
• Make art work.
• Sing to your favourite music.
• Watch a comedy.
• Make a scrapbook with inspirational and empowering images.


KEEPING BUSY/HEALTHY DISTRACTIONS
• Mend clothes.
• Rearrange your furniture.
• Decorate a room.
• Time out: Put thoughts and feelings to the back of your mind.
• Create containment and set it aside for now.
• Distract yourself and keep busy.
• Count to 10.
• Use breath work.
• Make and put up a joy list.
• Play with a small child.
• Watch a sunset.
• Go someplace you enjoy.
•

SOOTHING DEEDS
• Get into cozy clothes.
• Get dressed up.
• Treat your body as you would a child who has been hurt.
• Cook something nice.
• Bake bread.
• Rest in a hot bath.
• Take an oil or bubble bath.
• Light a candle or your fireplace.
• Soothe body memories: use lotion, essential oils, soft fabric on places that hurt.
• Brush your hair.
• Rub your feet or hands.
• Buy yourself flowers or a houseplant.
• Buy yourself garden plants and plant them.
• Buy your inner child a colouring book.
• Have a cup of tea or hot chocolate.
• Have iced tea or lemonade.
• Have a chocolate or other comfort food.
• Buy something nice for yourself or your house.
• Brush or pet your cat or dog.
• Talk to your pets
• Turn on the radio or play music.
• Buy a book or magazine.
• Read a children's book.
• Read your favourite author or book.

SOOTHING WORDS
• Affirmations:
• - Make a tape of affirmations. Have supportive people add messages for you.
• - Have a “Daily Bread Basket” of affirmations to read, hold, carry with you.
• - Get a book of affirmations and carry it with you.
• Healing Notebook: Put in affirmations, pictures, messages from friends that remind you that you are safe and not alone. Carry the notebook with you.
• Lucid Dreaming and Journalling: Use meditative and free writing techniques.
• Self Talk: Tell yourself something that will remind you that you are okay.
• Do a positive or nurturing HandPrints spontaneous writing.
• Write affirmations cards or post-it notes.
• Journal about hopes and aspirations.
• Write a letter to yourself from someone who thinks highly of you.
• With your non-dominant hand, write from your child self.

[angelic212]

Guide to Developing aWRAP- Wellness Recovery Action Plan
The following handout will serve as a guide to developing Wellness Recovery Action Plans. It can be used by people who are experiencing psychiatric symptoms to develop their own guide, or by health care professionals who are helping others to develop Wellness Recovery Action Plans.

This handout, or any part of this handout, may be copied for use in working with individuals or groups.

Getting Started

The following supplies will be needed to develop a Wellness Recovery Action Plan:
a three ring binder, one inch thick
a set of five dividers or tabs
a package of three ring filler paper, most people preferred lined
a writing instrument of some kind
(optional) a friend or other supporter to give you assistance and feedback

Section 1-Daily Maintenance List

On the first tab write Daily Maintenance List. Insert it in the binder followed by several sheets of filler paper.

On the first page, describe, in list form, yourself when you are feeling all right.

On the next page make a list of things you need to do for yourself every day to keep yourself feeling alright.

On the next page, make a reminder list for things you might need to do. Reading through this list daily helps keep us on track.

Section 2-Triggers

External events or circumstances that, if they happen, may produce serious symptoms that make you feel like you are getting ill. These are normal reactions to events in our lives, but if we don't respond to them and deal with them in some way, they may actually cause a worsening in our symptoms.

On the next tab write "Triggers" and put in several sheets of binder paper.

On the first page, write down those things that, if they happened, might cause an increase in your symptoms. They may have triggered or increased symptoms in the past.

On the next page, write an action plan to use if triggers come up, using the Wellness Toolbox at the end of this handout as a guide.

Section 3-Early Warning Signs

Early warning signs are internal and may be unrelated to reactions to stressful situations. In spite of our best efforts at reducing symptoms, we may begin to experience early warning signs, subtle signs of change that indicate we may need to take some further action.

On the next tab write "Early Warning Signs". On the first page of this section, make a list of early warning signs you have noticed.

On the next page, write an action plan to use if early warning signs come up, using the Wellness Toolbox at the end of this handout as a guide.

Section 4-Things are Breaking Down or Getting Worse

In spite of our best efforts, our symptoms may progress to the point where they are very uncomfortable, serious and even dangerous, but we are still able to take some action on our own behalf. This is a very important time. It is necessary to take immediate action to prevent a crisis.

On the next tab write, "When Things are Breaking Down". Then make a list of the symptoms which, for you, mean that things have worsened and are close to the crisis stage.

On the next page, write an action plan to use "When Things are Breaking Down" using the Wellness Toolbox at the end of this handout as a guide.

Section 5-Crisis Planning

In spite of our best planning and assertive action, we may find ourselves in a crisis situation where others will need to take over responsibility for our care. We may feel like we are totally out of control.

Writing a crisis plan when you are well to instruct others about how to care for you when you are not well, keeps you in control even when it seems like things are out of control. Others will know what to do, saving everyone time and frustration, while insuring that your needs will be met. Develop this plan slowly when you are feeling well. The crisis planning form includes space to write:

those symptoms that would indicate to others they need to take action in your behalf
who you would want to take this action
medications you are currently taking, those that might help in a crisis, and those that should be avoided
treatments that you prefer and those that should be avoided
a workable plan for at home care
acceptable and unacceptable treatment facilities
actions that others can take that would be helpful
actions that should be avoided
instructions on when the plan no longer needs to be used

[angelic212]

1. breath - take slow deep breaths.
- count your breaths.

2. am i in ammediate danger?

3. is there anything i can do about it?

4. whats the worst case senario?
-did the worst case senario happen last time?

5. what would i do in the worst case senario?.......MAKE A PLAN....how would i deal with it, where is the exit etc.

6. am i being realistic about this situation?

7. am i helping the situation by worrying about it?

8. is there anything i can do about it?

9. is it actually MY problem?

calm down, chill out. its never as bad as it seems!

you can make cards with these questions and keep them in your wallet/ purse or bag

[angelic212]

putting in quotes that help, my artwork, my collages, my poems, other poems that help, activities/phrases that help, pictures of normal people in ads, people and role model that help, songs that help, websites and friends, etc.....

lists of affirmations and challenges to myself. I sometimes type things on neon paper, cut it out and paste it in there.

what do you do for YOU?

I count to ten and remember that things and thoughs pass - i will not feel this way for ever
I write in my diary and try and work out what is really bugging me
:boing I keep a little book of really good quotes to pick me up when i am down
I keep a little box with all the compliments i have been give in it... that really helps boost confidence
I get on the phone and call my friend!!


Work on my recovery scrapbook (it has journal entries, collages, lists, letters, dialogue b/w healthy self and ED etc)
Follow my mealplan (not always perfectly, but the best I can)
Challenge myself to trust others
Challenge negative thinking--sometimes you can find me talking outloud to myself and/or to ED
Encouraging self-talk
Reminding myself that recovery is the courageous choice
Learning to feel my feelings
Learning to take care of myself in relation to my feelings and difficult events
Taking risks and opening up to others a little more (this does not always go well, but I keep trying)
Inspirational reading--SARK, certain poems, etc.
Working on accepting and embracing my whole self--my strengths and my weaknesses
Learning to be real

=============================

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.
==============================
Type something here which make you feel good good good
------------------------------------------------------
Accept yourself -- Accept your body.
Celebrate yourself -- Celebrate your body.

=========================

Eat what you want, When you are truly hungry. Stop when you`re full. And eat exactly what appeals to you. Do this instead of any diet, and you are unlikely to ever have a weight problem, let alone an eating disorder.
LISTEN TO YOUR BODY
=============================================

I will exercise for the joy of feeling my body move and grow stronger. I will not exercise simply to lose weight, purge fat from my body, or to "make-up for" calories I have eaten.

I will participate in activities that I enjoy, even if they call attention to my weight and shape. I will constantly remind myself that I deserve to do things I enjoy, like dancing, swimming, etc., no matter what my shape or size!
. will surround myself with people and things that make me feel good about myself and my abilities. When I am around people and things that support me and make me feel good, I will be less likely to base my self-esteem on the way my body looks.
I will treat my body with respect and kindness. I will feed it, keep it active, and listen to its needs. I will remember that my body is the vehicle that will carry me to my dreams!

7. I will choose to take care of myself and my body!
Keep a top-10 list of things you like about yourself -- things that aren’t related to how much you weigh or what you look like. Read your list often. Add to it as you become aware of more things to like about you.

. Surround yourself with positive people. It is easier to feel good about yourself and your body when you are around others who are supportive and who recognize the importance of liking yourself just as you naturally are.?
Shut down those voices in your head that tell you your body is not “right” or that you are a “bad” person. You can overpower those negative thoughts with positive ones. The next time you start to tear yourself down, build yourself back up with a few quick affirmations that work for you

[angelic212]

reasons for living
by paradoxis


Hold on for the day when you won't feel like this, because it's inevitable,
even if you do nothing.

Hold on for the beauty of a sunrise, the day when you notice colour again,
and feel it reflected and magnified inside you.

Hold on for the day when the terrible Emptiness and inexhaustable Need are
gone and you are free. It does happen. It happened to me, so have hope.

Hold on if for no other reason than to see what happens next, cause you can
pretty much guarrantee that sooner or later something you didn't expect will
happen, and it might be good.

Hold on for the time when the voices in your head are saying "good job"
instead of "you're a failure", when the words in your head are supportive
and nurturing.

Hold on for the day when you realise you haven't even thought of hurting
yourself or killing yourself in ages and ages. It's such a surprise!

Hold on for the morning when you wake up feeling so totally relaxed and
rested that your body is luxuriously heavy and that first stretch is
wonderfully decadant.

Hold on for the day when you *really* don't give a flying f*ck how you look,
or what people think of you, because you are comfortable, not defiant.

Hold on for the day when you are no longer defined by other people's opinion
of you.

Hold on for the day when the only tears you have are from laughing so much,
when the laughter just bubbles up naturally and smiles come so easily that
your cheeks hurt.

Hold on for the day when you laugh at yourself for all your little ways, even the ones that
you used to find intolerable, because that's the day when you've accepted
who you are and come to see it all as precious and endearing.

Hold on for the moment when you suddenly recognise that you've grown and
changed, and are pleasantly suprised.

Hold on for the day when you look in the mirror and don't run screaming from
the room, when you are happy with who and what you see. That is a fantastic
moment.

Hold on for the moment of transformation that occurs when there has been a
deep shift inside you and a whole new world opens up in all its beauty and
wonder.

Hold on for the day when you can really taste food again, when you notice
the blue of the sky, the quality of light reflecting off leaves, the
softness of a child's skin, the pleasure of someone's smile, the feeling of
a gentle breeze on your face and ruffling your hair, the play of light
through the trees, and you hear the beauty of a bird's song as if for the
first time and in that moment, nothing else matters.

Hold on for the day when you suddenly notice that things have depth, that
everything is no longer two dimensional.

Hold on for the time when you feel all this creative energy inside you,
waiting to be expressed - whether it be through song, music, dance, art,
writing, or just simply by loving.

Hold on for the day when you really feel and Know that you have something to
offer, and that this something is not Pain, which is all you thought you had
to offer before.

Hold on for the day when you can let other people's love get inside you,
where you can feel it, when it doesn't just bounce off you without meaning.

Hold on for the day when your words make a difference in someone else's
life - whether you see it or not, whether you understand it or not, whether
you see all the ripples or not.

Hold on for the miracle of the moment when you see yourself truly, as you
are, and are awestruck, because it WILL happen if you let it. So hold on for
the day when you grasp the wonder of who you are, behind and beneath all the
pain and all your thoughts.

[angelic212]

Relapse prevention: bulimia nervosa

Never ever let yourself get so hungry that the urge to binge is overwhelming. People who recover from bulimia say that they eat regularly. Because they are never ravenous, they have no physical reason to binge eat. Hunger is the most powerful binge trigger there is. It is a recognized fact that the longer one has dieted, and the more severely calories have been restricted, the higher the risk of binge eating.
Never ever deprive yourself of good-tasting food, even if it has more fat and calories than "safe" diet foods. If you refuse to eat appealing foods that you really want, you will feel deprived and crave them. Then you are vulnerable to bingeing. Remember Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden? The one food they were not supposed to eat was the one they could not stay away from.

Until you have achieved some balance and perspective, stay away from temptation. Don't go to all-you-can-eat salad bars. If ice cream is a binge trigger, don't keep it in your freezer. When you want potato salad, for example, or rocky road ice cream, go to a sit-down restaurant and order a single portion, ideally as part of a balanced meal. By doing so, you accomplish three things. You avoid depriving yourself. You avoid the urges to binge created by deprivation, and you also learn how to integrate normal food into a reasonable and healthy meal plan.

When you do feel powerful urges to binge, postpone the act for thirty minutes. Surely you can wait half an hour. During that time think about what is going on in your life. What stresses are you facing? What is missing right now from your life that you need in order to be happy and avoid the looming binge? Make a list of things you could you do instead of binge eating to deal with your situation. If you are truly committed to recovery, at least some of the time you will choose one of these healthier behaviors instead of binge food.

Take charge of your life. Stop using words like, "I wish," "I want," "I hope," and "I can't." They are weak victim words. Say instead things like, "I choose," even if you are choosing to binge. Say, "I will," even if the thing you will do is vomit. These are words that express responsibility, power, and control. If you can choose to binge, then by implication at some future time you can choose NOT to binge. If you will vomit, then next week or next month or next year you can choose to say, "I WON'T vomit."

If you feel yourself slipping back into unhealthy habits, call your therapist and schedule an appointment. Returning to counseling in no way means you have failed. It means only that it's time to reevaluate and fine tune your recovery plan.
========================================================

Relapse prevention: anorexia nervosa

It sounds simplistic, but it is true: if no one ever dieted there would be no anorexia nervosa. Instead of dieting, design a meal plan that gives your body all the nutrition it needs for normal growth and health. If you want to work towards a healthy weight, then limit (but don't eliminate) your intake of fatty and sugary foods and refined carbohydrates. Eat lots of whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and enough dairy and protein foods to maintain strong bones and healthy muscles and organs. Also get 30 to 60 minutes of exercise or physical activity three to five days a week. Unless you are working under the supervision of a coach or trainer, anything more rigorous is excessive.

When you start to get overwhelmed by "feeling fat," instead of dwelling on your appearance, ask yourself how your life would be better if you were thinner. What would you have then that you don't have now? Friends? Self-confidence? Love? Control? The admiration of others? Their acceptance? Success and status?

Then realize that being unhealthfully thin will bring you none of these things, only a fragile illusion of success that has to be constantly reinforced with even more weight loss. All of the items listed in the preceding paragraph are legitimate goals of healthy people, but working to achieve them directly is much more effective than trying to be successful by losing weight. If weight loss brought happiness, then starving Third World children would be ecstatic with joy. They are not. They are miserable and depressed, just like people who have anorexia nervosa.

Accept that your body shape is determined in part by genetics. Accept that you may never have a totally flat stomach. Even if you are very thin, your internal organs will give your belly a certain roundedness, especially after you eat. That's normal, especially if people in your family tend to store fat in the midsection.

If you feel yourself slipping back into unhealthy habits, call your therapist and schedule an appointment. Returning to counseling in no way means you have failed. It means only that it's time to reevaluate and fine tune your recovery plan.

Relapse prevention: binge eating disorder

Same as for bulimia, above
If you feel yourself slipping back into unhealthy habits, call your therapist and schedule an appointment. Returning to counseling in no way means you have failed. It means only that it's time to reevaluate and fine tune your recovery plan.
Relapse prevention: everyone

Nourish yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually. Accept that everyone has needs, legitimate needs, and you don't need to be ashamed of yours. Learn how to meet your needs in healthy, responsible ways. If you make yourself feel needy, you will be tempted to look for comfort in diet books or the refrigerator. Especially make sure that every day you spend time with friends. In person is best, but phone calls and e-mail are better than nothing.

Also every day spend time doing things you are good at, things you can take pride in, things that demonstrate your competency and abilities. Allow yourself to enjoy your accomplishments and refuse to listen to the nagging inner voice that insists you could do better if only you tried harder.

Schedule something to look forward to every day, something that's fun and pleasurable. Watch comedy videos and laugh out loud at outrageous jokes. Play something -- a board game, a computer game, a musical instrument, tapes or CDs. Go outside and enjoy the birds, trees, flowers, and fresh air. If you live in the middle of a big city, go to a park. Make something with your own hands. Figure out how to give yourself a fun break from the daily routine, and then do it.

Keep tabs on your feelings. Several times during the day, especially in the first stages of recovery, take time out and ask yourself how you feel. If you notice rising stress, anger, anxiety, fear, sadness -- and even strong joy -- be alert to the possibility that you may try to dull these strong emotions by turning to, or away from, food. Find a better way of dealing with your feelings such as talking them over with a trusted friend.

Do someting meaningful every day, something that gives you a sense of having made the world a better place, if only in some small way. If you do this consistently, you will build a sense of your dignity, value and ability to make a difference in your world.
The 12-step folks have a useful formula. When they feel on the verge of falling into old behaviors, they say HALT! Then they ask, "Am I too Hungry, too Angry, too Lonely, or too Tired?" All of those states are strong binge triggers. Additional triggers for people with eating disorders seem to be Boredom and Unstructured time. If you find yourself stressed by any of these feelings, figure out a healthier and more effective way of dealing with them than binge eating or starving.'

If you feel yourself slipping back into unhealthy habits, call your therapist and schedule an appointment. Returning to counseling in no way means you have failed. It means only that it's time to reevaluate and fine tune your recovery plan.

[angelic212]

My Coping box:

<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h314/ ... 000350.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a>

[angelic212]

<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h314/ ... 2q2zbt.gif" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h314/mevf21/pb2.gif" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h314/mevf21/mm3.gif" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h314/ ... ages-8.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a><a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h314/ ... d-bear.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting"></a>
some safe pictures for me , to keep my coping space safe

[angelic212]

yesterday i didnt do anything negative at all.

and i cleaned and organized my room last night stayed up till 3am but it was worth it.

i feel safe in my room again.

when i stay up late i usually do negative things. but last night i decided that it was time for a change. so i organized my room.
and i even found my day planner that i bought on my trip that i went with my sister, so now its time to get organized.

on each day that i dont do anything negative i will put a sticker or smiley face in my calendar. and i will save up some money to buy me something special at the end of the month.

im really happy , im being able to cope.

i even changed the wallpaper in my computer,
its a colorful butterfly now i love it!

[angelic212]

oh and i also added some stuff to my coping box. stuff that i found yesterday in my room, when i organized and cleaned it.

[angelic212]

CREATE AND USE PERSONALIZED COPING LISTS

Survivors need a list of normal life activities and self care. During development, the numbing response to the abuse often meant that, though you were physically there, you missed out on the learning skills that other children were experiencing. In addition, neglect is often associated with environments where abuse occurs. A child who is neglected misses out on learning roles and modeling around normal activities.

In shutting down against the trauma and pain, the victim of abuse learns to ignore their body and other needs. It becomes easy to neglect self care, needs and wants. Lists can be quite valuable for reference, particularly when you are under stress or when you anticipate stressful circumstances arising. If you reach a point of crisis, they are a must.

The more difficult a time you are having, the harder it is to remember the things that help you to manage the stress. In effect, the greater your need is, the less you are able to provide for and look after yourself.

Turning to a list that you made when feeling good is a way of using your grounded mind to help you when you are having a difficult time.


Write Down Even the Obvious

Some things on your coping lists may seem obvious when all is going well, but the obvious is not always easily available when you are facing despair or flashbacks. The mind numbs and fogs out as a means of getting through overwhelming feelings.

When you are in a triggered state, it may not occur to you to go for a brisk walk or to ask yourself if you have eaten. If you turn to a list, something is likely to stand out and you can benefit from doing that activity.

Make your list over a period of time rather than all at once. Work on the list at different times of the day, when you are in different moods. Your perceptions, creativity and problem solving abilities change dramatically while feeling good, bad, angry, tired or empowered. The various insights from each of these moods have their own unique strengths.

As stated before, write down the obvious along with your other less obvious strategies for coping.


Vary Between the Novel and the Familiar

When using a stress reduction and coping technique, occasionally vary what you do. The technique you use every time to relax will eventually grow stale and may lose much of the original effect. Conversely, use some of your tried and true responses because as they become habitual, they click on easily due to familiarity.


Four activity lists that are helpful for survivors are:

1. Daily/weekly activities to TAKE CARE of YOURSELF and STAY HEALTHY.
2. What to do to CREATE BOUNDARIES.
3. What to do to RELIEVE STRESS.
4. What to do COPE WITH CRISIS.

taking care of yourself regurlarly

Referring to a "Daily/Weekly Activities to Take Care of Yourself & Stay Healthy List" is a good way to make sure that you are staying on top of things.

Looking at your regular activity list is also a means of having an emotional thermometer. Skipping activities such as eating regular meals, doing exercise or taking time for leisure can be a sign that you are being triggered or that some stressful issue is surfacing that you may be unaware of.

You may even start to notice associations between the types of activities you do not do and the kinds of issues that are coming up.

Through an early warning system, decisions can be made about going to therapy, getting extra therapy, and also doing what you need to relieve tension or work through adversity.

LIST #1 Make Yourself a List of "Daily/Weekly Activities to Take Care of Yourself"

Shower every day.
Take a long walk three times a week.
Listen to music to start your day.
Have some form of leisure every day.
Make time for therapy.
Do twenty minutes of journalling twice during the week and on each weekend day.
Eat regularly.
Get sufficient sleep and sleep in on Saturday.
Vacuum and straighten.
Etc. Make your own personalized list!!!



LIST #3 Managing Stress

Make Yourself a List of "What to do to Relieve Stress"

Brisk exercise
Take a walk
Shout into a pillow
Write a note and tear it up
Throw Mr. Gigglie against the door
Tear up paper
Pound clay
Paint or draw
Write angry letters
Tear up angry letters
Fold the laundry
Throw the socks at the wall
Listen to music
Chew gum
Talk to someone
Ride a bike
Enjoy nature
Throw rock in the water
Use your humour
Build something
Clean
Garden
Take a sauna, whirlpool or bath
Etc...
Make your own personalized list!

Managing A Crisis

What To Do In a Crisis is probably the most important list you can have. When you are feeling overwhelmed is the most difficult time to know what you should do to stabilize.

Managing a crisis is about lowering the degree of suffering you are in and reconnecting with some form of empowerment and hope. You do not have to continue to suffer.

The worst thing you faced was the original abuse and you made it through that. Now you can find a way to manage the memories and flashbacks that occur.

Using your personal ways of grounding and turing to other people art important at times of crisis. You do not have to be alone with your despair. You can call a friend, support group member or therapist.

If you cannot contact someone in your personal support system, call a crisis line, distress centre or help phone.

Have help and crisis line phone numbers on your crisis list.

One of the most important items on a crisis list is the directive to “GO BACK TO THE TOP OF THIS LIST.” This instruction is telling you there is hope and that you just need to review your crisis list another time to find something that will help you right now.

You manage a crisis by working towards grounding and getting back into the here and now. To ground and return to the present when you are upset you often requires doing something about overwhelming feelings from the past.

Feelings are managed by processing them and letting them go, by burning up enough stress associated with the feelings, by getting nurture and understanding that assists with healing and repatterning.or by finding some form of distraction.

These are each different responses and they are each good responses in their own time. Often a crisis is managed by employing a combination of coping and healing strategies.

LIST #4 Make Yourself a List of "What to do in a crisis"

Phone my therapist.
Phone a friend.
See my support person or sponsor.
Breathe deeply.
Count to 100.
Remind yourself of your location, the time, the date.
Put a clock or calendar near you to help with being oriented.
Look around the room.
Find a comfortable or safe location.
Go for a fast walk.
Punch a pillow.
Remind myself of my accomplishments.
Look a photo albums of good times.
Make a therapy appointment.
Take a day off.
Go to work.
Find comfort, healing or understanding on the Survivor Monument web site.
Read a self help book.
Read a good novel.
Read trash fiction.
Watch TV.
Rent a Movie.
Organize or clean the house.
Eat comfort food.
Exercise real hard.
Meditate.
Listen to Meditation Music
Do yoga.
Paint.
Sculpt.
Pound clay.
Bake.
Write in my journal.
Cry for awhile.
Swear or mumble giberish to let go
Call a crisis line.
Go back to the top of this list

[angelic212]

yesterdayy i added some stuff to my coping box.

but i decided to change my coping box, since i added more stuff to it. i will post a picture of it later, i need to take a picture of my coping box today so i can post it here.

[angelic212]

Relapse Prevention Daily Worksheet

1.) Lapse:

In this section, describe in detail the exact nature of the lapse, urge which you experienced. What was the fantasy or behavior which was exhibited?



2.) Situation:

In this section, describe the situation in which the lapse occurred. Details are important. Describe who you were with, what was the activity or subject of discussion. What had occurred just prior to the lapse? Remember, this section is to be descriptive. Avoid interpretations. You may want to ask for help from your peers, therapist or whoever may have been present to obtain reality checks and to assist in memory.



3.) Interpersonal Trigger:

Describe the context and the content of the interpersonal situation described in the previous section. What was the interaction about? (Family? Power? Sex?) What was the nature of the interaction? (Supportive? Conflictual? Intimate?)


4.) Emotional Triggers:

What feelings were brought up by the interaction?



5.) Non-Addictive Coping Strategy:

What did you do to avoid acting out in a full blown relapse? What could you have done to prevent the lapse from occurring?

[angelic212]

When I need to call someone I'll call: _______________________ at_____________________
or I can contact___________________________ at

________________________.

I can also page or email _____________________________

at__________________________.

I am stronger than my problems because

_________________________________________.

I don't need to commit suicide because__________________________________________

________________________________________________.

I am a valuable person because__________________________________________

and______________ cares about me and because I care about ________________________________________________. I can beat this.

________________________________________
Signature __________________