Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 1:22 pm

If you'd said you weren't coming, that you couldn't. Then it would have been fine. I'm used to being let down by you lot. I would have been ok. It's that I told her. I told people you were coming. And now they all know the reason I'm fucking miserable. I've just got out of hospital. Do you just pretend to care? What else are you doing? What is more important than seeing your one remaining relative? WHAT?!

Seeshellz · Post by **Seeshellz** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 3:15 pm

I think cause you were SU and were ODing and stuff it triggered me to feel like ODing again, I don't know if that is the reason but it is really weird? I don't want to stop you coming to me for support, I don't know what to do??? Cause I really care for you and love you and want to help you, but I don't know what to do. I'm OK now, the urges have past. But it is weird.

Seeshellz · Post by **Seeshellz** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 3:22 pm

Y I don't understand you, all my life you treated me like crap, put me down, abuse, the odd time you were nice and I didn't understand? Still I doubt your love for me. I really don't think you love me, or do you? I have so much therapy about this and they are convincing me you do love me in your own way. But, I need you to love me in my way.

I need you Y.

And I am afraid soon you will die, and things will never get resolved, they will never get resolved anyway no matter how long you live.

MusicalMorphine · Post by **MusicalMorphine** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 6:24 pm

I'n fucking sick of you. Your an attention seeking little bitch. All you do is go and and get pissed all the time and cry over him, like everything is so bad for you. I've done nothing but be good to you, despite what I may have thought at times. And I'm nothing to you right? I might as well not exist, it's not like anyone will even notice or care.

I still have to be nice to you though, I still have to pretend like everything is fine.

Seeshellz · Post by **Seeshellz** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 1:53 am

After you left I started to freak and I am still freaking hours later. I can't seem to handle what we talked about. I'm still not used to you yet I guess. I thought I was able to tell you that stuff, I guess not. Now what do I do?

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:13 am

im sick of trying to get better

wilson · Post by **wilson** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:34 am

i like you i really do. but im scared to let you get close to me. im scared i might lose you. im scared you will hurt me. i cant go through that all again.

LT · Post by LT » Fri Jan 05, 2007 9:11 pm

God stop attacking me, i'm your little scape goat for you to just attack.

Aly · Post by **Aly** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 10:00 pm

Subtlety is obviously your weak point.

And hey, at least I never descending to attacking you. In a public place. Where people you know could read it.

I am so glad I did what I did. I don't regret it for two seconds.

paintedblack · Post by **paintedblack** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 10:15 pm

I wish you knew just how much I still cared, but I can't bring myself to tell you. It would topple the neatly stacked life you're living now, and the last thing I want is for you to be unhappy. I hope everything works out.

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 10:47 pm

my father is dead.
--
it turns ouy you're just like him. who knew? You cunt. You absolute tosser. You knew that was all I wanted. All I had. You did that for a reason. and now you're hiding.
--
it would appear. that the time when there is nothing left it approaching rapidly.
this time.
i will do it right.
there will be no more fuck ups.
i refuse to fuck up this.
i've inherited the ability to be good at it.
it's all my family do.
i'm sure i can manage it.

---
m
i'm not trying to hurt you. i'm trying to protect myself. but, when it comes right down to it. sod me. i'll help you instead. i've got nothing left to give but you can have it all. if it will help.

Seeshellz · Post by **Seeshellz** » Fri Jan 05, 2007 10:55 pm

I keep calling you like you asked, but you do not return my calls. What does this mean? Does it mean you do not want to talk to me? Or are you hyberating again? Are you avoiding life again as a way of coping with your depression. I don't know if I can handle not knowing how you are doing. You could be dead and no one would know. You have done this so many times and you always promise after you will call me to let me know how you are, but you never do. I hate when you do this...You don't know how many people worry about you...how much you put people through when you do this, and you do it for months....I want to be your friend, but how can I take this year after year....broken promises and worry after worry, you talk to no one, not even family, not even the police...

crs13 · Post by **crs13** » Sat Jan 06, 2007 4:59 am

I never wanted to hurt you, never wanted to see you in pain, but I can't be the person who fixes things for you, no matter what I do for you it's never enough so I might as well not do anything at all. I know you're sad, know you're hurting, wish I could make it better, but I can't, and I need to stay away from you, not because I don't care about you, because I can't handle it, I won't be safe. You're leaning on me for support and you can't do that, as you put more and more weight on me I will collapse, and you don't see that, so when I pull away to keep myself from breaking, you fall and blame me for it, and I'm just so sick of having guilt laid on me no matter what I do.

LT · Post by LT » Sat Jan 06, 2007 1:09 pm

I'm sorry, i was angry

rainbow_rally · Post by **rainbow_rally** » Sat Jan 06, 2007 3:44 pm

i hate you, those things you said about wrapping me up in cotton wool and protecting me and liking me, they were all a fucking lie.

i wish you'd never added me.

bastard.

you dont realise how much you've hurt me

you were the one who added ME! not the other way round so why did you say delete you?

bastard

and the studpid thing is, i barely even knew you, but wanted to get to know you more

you made me tell the one person i vowed never to tell i liked him

Seeshellz · Post by **Seeshellz** » Sat Jan 06, 2007 8:05 pm

I appreciate your help so much, I really do, I don't know what I would do without your help...But I can't stand it!!!! At the same time I can't stand it!!!!! I don't know what to do!!! I'm in a no win situation. Because of my mental health I need your help, at the same time I hate it....I hate being so helpless.

Quiet little Angel · Post by **Quiet little Angel** » Sat Jan 06, 2007 11:58 pm

why don't i dare to call you... or even text you... ?... you're my friend... i shouldn't be so scared of you...
i'm scared you'll make fun of me... i'm scared you don't want my friendship anymore... but i miss you so much... i wish i dared...

Seeshellz · Post by **Seeshellz** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 6:13 pm

I heard your voice today and I get all panicky and scared. We used to be close, so close, I looked up to you. Now I am afraid of you and don't want to be near you. You were so mean to me, so mean at my Grandmother's funeral, for goodness sake!!! You didn't even say sorry about her, you only could insult me, when no one was around. Then pressure me to do things I cannot do. You do not understand me. I try to explain but you never listen. How come other people can understand? Your wife understands!!! But you don't!! Why are you so pushy and hurtful? You are not my friend anymore. I don't know how I can be your friend anymore. The hurt is just too deep.

acdcrocker1909 · Post by **acdcrocker1909** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 11:35 pm

** there may be a little SI in this I don't know yet. ....*

I love you.. you are the person I have always needed, and I'm going to miss you so much.. I want you to know that you're always going to hold a special place in my heart. You can read me better than anyone I have ever known... and I thank you.. There's just so much I wish I could tell you.. and I have told you some.. and in letter form.. because I didnt think I could say them out loud.. and as much as I have told you.. there is still so much more I could say.. i thank you and I love you for the person you are.

i dont know what to say to you.. i dont know if i am falling for you or not.. i dont know if you're falling for me even.. we talk all the time.. but there is so much i haven't been honest with you about.. and i feel bad about it..

*okay this one does speak of SI.. just a warning..*

You.. I hate you now. You were there for me for so much.. but I can't take you anymore.. you're a bitch.. simple as that.. you are a bitch and I now cannot stand you. Why the HELL would you tell me that I was and I quote "going the wrong way" after you noticed one of my scars.. who the hell tells someone who actively SIs that.. who ?! Apparently you.. and fuck you for that. Seriously.. Fuck. You.

red umbrellas · Post by **red umbrellas** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 10:34 am

-i'm sorry i hurt you.
i guess i should have known it would eventually end up this way. i guess i could never have made it work.
i was never strong enough.
maybe we were never strong enough.
and i don't think i could have loved enough for long enough
i'm really really sorry.-

-i hope you're ok. please contact me. i am worried about you. -

-please stop trying to protect me. i'm more capable of that than you realise. please leave me alone. don't patronise me, don't constrict me. i need space. i don't need your clinging, desperate attempts to 'look after me'.-

bus

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