Before

[sockr28]

* how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

* what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

* how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

* if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

* what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

* how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

* what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?



urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer


* Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?

* Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?

yes, many times. only thing that seems to work is to go to bed so that i cant do it. i know that i need better coping skills.

* What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?

well, it is the middle of the night so i cant really call anyone, but i have tried distractions, but it doesnt seem to help. at my parents house though, so i dont have my normal tools and kind of freaking out about being able to do it right.

* How do I feel right now?

like a failure. not good enough for anyone.

* How will I feel when I am hurting myself?

like i deserve it. like i will be giving myself the pain and hurt that i deserve instead of the hurt that i have inside.

* How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?

i think that i will feel better. but i do normally feel a little bit guilty. especially if i see the one person that knows about it tomorrow. because i dont want to dissappoint her.

* Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?

not realy sure what brought it on. just extreme self hate and feeling like i am a failure. (probably should stop drinking).

* Do I need to hurt myself?

probably not, but i feel that it would make me feel better. wish that i knew something else to help me.

[herebedragons]

I think sleep would be an excellent idea. You mentioned that it usually helps and certainly it is healthier than si. You also said that stopping drinking would be a good idea at this point and sleeping would take care of that as well.) Do you think it might help to go to sleep and deal with these urges tomorow? Do you think the urges might disappate by then or that the fact that other people will be awake would help?

[sockr28]

herebedragons, thanks for your reply. i agree that i should get some sleep because it would keep me from drinking and would remove me from the urges once i fell asleep. i agree with this.


however, as only one of my friends knows about my SI and i am very bad about talking to people, i dont know if that would help in the morning, but i could probably distract myself better with others around, and i wouldnt want to have scars or do it around them.


thanks again for the response!!

[herebedragons]

Yeah in my experience just being around other people can help because they are a distraction, plus logistically it's just more difficult to SI if everyone is awake. Also sleep deprivation tends to push me right into feeling like s.i.ing making sleep a good idea all around. I hope you get some sleep soon and I hope tomorow finds you feeling better.