write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? it won't. the situation will still be what it is. i'll still be sad and feel like i've been punched in the stomach...except that for a tiny bit i'll be numb.
- what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? it will bring numbness but nothing else. it won't take away from the situation but it won't help.
- how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way? i want to not care. but i *do* care. that's the problem. too many feelings. if i si, then i can add guilt to the list of feelings running thru me.
- if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then? the relief will be short-lived. then i'll be depressed. then i'll realize there really is nothing to do and then i'll cry.
- what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then? wait for my friend to get back on im. clean the dishes. bake christams goodies, do laundry. actually interact with my kid.
- how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with? sore, glad i'm sore, mad i'm sore. if i don't si, i'll be glad tomorrow.
- what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now? i want to tell someone off. i want to be hugged. i want to ask the someone how do we fix this? i want to ask the someone if she hates me. but i guess what it boils down to is i don't want to admit that i'm hurt and sad, and i don't want to cry.
. i know it's virtual, but you said you needed a hug so...