who are you right now? *lang trigs*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

Moderators: Spidey, noldo

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half/hearted
orange smartie
orange smartie
Posts: 1728
Joined: Sat Aug 19, 2006 7:49 am
Gender: androgyne
Location: suburbia

Post by half/hearted » Sat Sep 02, 2006 3:12 pm

i am...
lonely. oppressed. afraid.

i am not...
a freak, a deviant, or a threat to society, no matter what they say.

i feel...
fear that they'll hurt me or the people i love.
confusion about why they would hate us so much.
frustration that i can't make them understand.
anger that they would dare threaten us.
despair, knowing that they can be anyone, anywhere.

i want...
the world to understand my kind.
equality in all things.
the security of knowing i won't be hurt because of who i am.

i need...
to keep hoping.
to remember that deep down, most people mean well.
to remember to love humanity.
...to cut to keep myself alive.

i have...
a name. a heart. a soul. a reason to live.
a curse. a blessing. a gift.
a dream.
too many scars to count anymore.

i love...
being with people who understand.
dreaming about the day when two of my friends can finally get married.
pretending the world doesn't have a death wish for me.

i hate...
myself, for being what i am...and letting their hate get to me.
Please be gentle with me.

you will fly and you will crawl
god knows even angels fall
no such thing as you "lost it all"
god knows even angels fall :pinkstar:

User avatar
lotus
orange smartie
orange smartie
Posts: 1673
Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2004 5:00 pm
Location: US-Pennsylvania

Post by lotus » Sat Sep 02, 2006 7:10 pm

i am...
judgmental of myself
vegan
isolative
uncertain
loved
anxious
lost
creative
artistic
brave
tattooed
pierced
scarred
intense
soulful
depressed
self-destructive
affectionate
needy
confused
sometimes ~long-winded~ :o

i am not...
mean
*normal*
close-minded
a hypocrite
free
okay
open about myself
good at asking for help

i feel...
scared
unseen
misunderstood
sad
alone
raw
torn apart
traumatized
calm
caring
desperate

i want...
to be understood
to be held
to be taken care of
peace
to heal
to cry
to hide
to be enlightened
to be hopeful
to be able to envision a future

i need...
love
to cry
to be in nature
to know I am cared about
affection
to scream
to connect

i have...
scars
a cozy house
a good T
disordered eating
a strong, pure, radiant spirit (somewhere in there)

i love...
my sweet kitty
my family
my partner
my security pillow
my bed
the mountains and the ocean
the rain in the desert
chocolate
free self-expression
passionate music

i hate...
ignorance
war
others hurting
the sound of people munching popcorn and rattling the bag
to be patronized
to be judged
dirty bathrooms
needing others
Image
"The world was made for those not cursed with self-awareness."
-Screenplay of Bull Durham, by Ron Shelton

"Pleasure for the beautiful body, but pain for the beautiful soul."
-Oscar Wilde


Image

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whoareyou?doyouevenknow?
knows the ropes
knows the ropes
Posts: 4500
Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2003 1:20 pm
Location: heaven
Contact:

Post by whoareyou?doyouevenknow? » Mon Sep 11, 2006 7:55 pm

i am...
me, whoever that is..
brave
stuborn (in a bad way)
loyal
can be a bitch
selfish, but am there when it counts
short
annoying
loud
quiet
a loner
bookworm
logical
talk before thinking
can be smart

i am not...
evil
bad

i feel...
sad most of the times
angry
hyper
sometimes content

i want...
true love
soulmate
the thing/person i am searching for

i need...
to trust/love/be comfortable with myself
love
support
independance


i have...
a good family
friends
a good future
a good home
the world at my fingertips

i love...
family

i hate...
depression, awful feeling
<center>:blkstar: To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose onself :blkstar:</center>

<img>

*HUGS* TOTAL!
<a href="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/hugs.cgi?& ... know">give whoareyoudoyouevenknow more *HUGS*</a>

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Neviah
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 11662
Joined: Fri Apr 21, 2006 1:46 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Sheffield
Contact:

Post by Neviah » Mon Sep 11, 2006 10:08 pm

i am...
- Upset
- Hurting
- Urgey
- a loner
- Brave

i am not...
- Bad
- Pathetic
- attention seeking
- manipulative
- Nasty
- Selfish
- SI

i feel...
- Alone
- Upset
- Un-needed
- un-loved
- Selfish

i want...
- Ben
- Hugs
- Perfection
- A life
- Meaning

i need...
- Meaning
- Love
- Life

i have...
- Ben
- A roof over my head
- A job

i love...
- Ben
- My pets
- My friends

i hate...
- Being alone
- Abusers
- Being a victim
- Depression
- Judgement

User avatar
Peege
being the change
being the change
Posts: 13108
Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 4:21 am
Location: Desolation Row

Post by Peege » Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:16 pm

i am...
~ lonely
~ sad
~ urgy
~ hurting inside

i am not...
~ coping well
~ happy
~ enjoying life
~ being a good friend

i feel...
~ small
~ incomplete
~ alone
~ empty

i want...
~ to feel nothing
~ a cuddle
~ to not have to remember to breathe

i need...
~ someone i can really talk to
~ acceptance
~ understanding

i have...
~ a hole inside me
~ a loving family - why is that not enough?!

i love...
~ my cat
~ butterflies
~ home
~ earrings

i hate...
~ this feeling that i cant describe
~ feeling so alone
~ being me

And the birds up on the wires and the telegraph poles
They can always fly away from this rain and this cold


Place

Image

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Scatterbrain
bus conductor
bus conductor
Posts: 5074
Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 3:17 am
Location: Washington state, USA

Post by Scatterbrain » Tue Oct 03, 2006 2:05 am

i am...
panicky
anxious
all for no reason

i am not...
stupid
uncapable
a crappy golfer

i feel...
nervous
angry
worried
scared


i want...
to go to bed
peace
to get away from it

i need...
a real hug, not a fake one from my family
to open up
to get help for SI

i have...
a lot to live for
a wonderful cat
a good brain
good chance of getting into Gonzaga

i love...
Roman
Lucy
JM
the way Roman's arms felt around me

i hate...
family
not feeling safe
not having Roman anymore
not being sure about the future
not knowing what I am supposed to do with my life

~Megan
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )

"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead

Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics

User avatar
black_23
quintessential regular
quintessential regular
Posts: 1913
Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2006 4:52 pm
Location: Off the map

Post by black_23 » Sat Oct 14, 2006 11:37 pm

i am...
Real
Sad
Lost

i am not...
Clever
Strong
Loveable

i feel...
Tired
Sad
Tipsy
Worthless

i want...
a hug
to feel happy

i need...
to sleep
to stop thinking

i have...
a wonderful b/f who i dont deserve
too many thoughts to rationalise

i love...
G


i hate...
being me
being quiet
being sad
'Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life' Picasso

'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath


My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459

My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307

User avatar
milleniumsinger
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 489
Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 5:02 pm
Location: Iowa, US
Contact:

Post by milleniumsinger » Sun Oct 15, 2006 5:42 am

i am...a child of God

i am not...worthless

i feel...guilty and shameful

i want...to pursue Christ, and not sin

i need...to know that God is in control

i have...great friends who didn't turn away when I told them my problems, and still don't turn away as more problems arise.

i love...God, and lots of other people that come waaay after that.

i hate...hating myself
~Liz~


<br clear="all">
<img src="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/count_hugs ... dizzyhed87" height="40" width="240" title="HUGS">
<br clear="all">
*HUGS* TOTAL!
<a href="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/hugs.cgi?& ... ed87">give dizzyhed87 more *HUGS*</a>
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Spidey
board admin
board admin
Posts: 21335
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 9:30 pm

Post by Spidey » Sun Oct 15, 2006 6:10 pm

right now i am one angry, bitter ...person.
there is, in the end, the letting go.
-marya hornbacher

spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)

:cowave:

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MusicalMorphine
growing roots
growing roots
Posts: 819
Joined: Wed Jul 19, 2006 5:51 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Hastings, England

Post by MusicalMorphine » Mon Oct 16, 2006 5:36 pm

i am...
screwed

i am not...
comfortable
complacent

i feel...
frustrated
hopeless
useless
scared
alone

i want...
to be complacent with my life
people to care
to belong

i need...
love
confidence

i have...
music

i love...
Music
Chester

i hate...
feeling this way
feeling like I've let people down
feeling in the way
feeling so self-conscience all the time

User avatar
HiddenByLies
beyond inspiring
beyond inspiring
Posts: 9109
Joined: Sun Nov 28, 2004 12:30 am
Gender: Female
Location: My Own World Interests: Music, Art & Poetry Age: 22

Post by HiddenByLies » Sat Nov 04, 2006 5:14 am

i am...
-tired
-sad
-warn out
-drained

i am not...
-happy
-okay
-at peace/ ease

i feel...
-alone
-confused
-abandoned
-sad
-angry

i want...
-Matthew back
-to be happy again
-to be normal again
-to be okay
-to not fight with people
-to not hate myself
-to not have weight issues

i need...
-to go to bed
-to stop living in the past
-to not be so selfish

i have...
-a family who loves me
-a life i need to live
-to move on

i love...
-Matthew
-my family/ friends
-to be alive

i hate...
-living (yes i am a contradiction)
-myself
-feeling fat
-not feeling good enough
-living in the shadow[/b]
the worlds her stage the people her crew
she looks so happy to me and you
but inside her body are secrets and lies
they're all her own that she hides behind
Image
her radiant mask her wonderful grace
but inside she's wondering why she's stuck in this place
but into her being she'll fall and remain
until someone frees her it's all just the same
:star: :ylwstar: :grystar: :ylwstar: :star:
Maurice --> :moove: <-- Bylies
|-MY PLACE-|
|-my poetry-|

User avatar
Peege
being the change
being the change
Posts: 13108
Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 4:21 am
Location: Desolation Row

Post by Peege » Sun Nov 05, 2006 2:32 am

i am...
tired
alone
aching
terrified

i am not...
at peace
comfortable
fine

i feel...
small
discarded
pain

i want...
comfort
silence in my head
dreamless sleep

i need...

to work out what i need

i have...

friends and family who love me

i love...

my cat, my family and friends

i hate...
myself
being a cliche

And the birds up on the wires and the telegraph poles
They can always fly away from this rain and this cold


Place

Image

User avatar
red umbrellas
beyond inspiring
beyond inspiring
Posts: 8175
Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 8:50 am
Location: Sydney

Post by red umbrellas » Mon Nov 06, 2006 2:16 am

i am...
afraid
sad
fragile

i am not...
ok like i'm pretending

i feel...
fat
scared
lost

i want...
for these feelings to pass
to be needed
to be worthwhile

i need...
reassurance
to stop being so melo-fucking-dramatic

i have...
to keep fighting...but i'm not sure why


i love...
music
dark chocolate

i hate...
that he treats me like i'm nothing
that i am worthless
that i'm headed back down this road
It's all life and fire and lunacy
And excuses and excuses and excuses

Hold On To Yourself - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

"We paint a picture of a scenario - and then we become afraid of it" - Andrea Fella

User avatar
(*Haven*)
cow control
cow control
Posts: 24497
Joined: Thu May 27, 2004 12:14 am
Location: The traffic jam of life

Post by (*Haven*) » Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:28 am

i am...
~Not feeling safe
~Feeling alone
~Sad

i am not...
~Okay
~Safe


i feel...
~Suicidal
~Unsafe
~Alone

i want...
~To talk to my therapist more.
~To be okay for just one day.
~To fall asleep without taking a sleeping pill.

i need...
~My therapist.
~To take care of myself.

i have...
~To keep going.
~To tell myself that I'm going to therapy on Friday.
~Fun things to look forward to.

i love...
~My cat when she curls up with me at night.
~That my therapist really cares for me and goes out of her way to make sure I'm okay.

i hate...
~That I've been feeling suicidal for over a month.
~That I have to take at least one sleeping pill just about every night but that I still can't sleep through the night.
~That I feel so alone.
:ylwstar: My Place :ylwstar: Visitors are welcome. New First Post 12/16/08
Forever Satan of RW
Married to Reine, nicki, han & klove
WDS, snowangel, kicks, figment & Chey (plus kitties) belong to me!
Stef is my twin
Klove's partner....(in crime! Get your mind outta the gutter already!)

:.*.:NO HUGS:.*.:

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lotus
orange smartie
orange smartie
Posts: 1673
Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2004 5:00 pm
Location: US-Pennsylvania

Post by lotus » Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:51 am

i am...
struggling
unstable
trying my best

i am not...
what i seem on the outside

i feel...
sad
alone
invisible
unworthy

i want...
to be understood
to be heard
to get better
to stop hurting

i need...
more support
to be able to validate my own feelings
to figure out what i want

i have...
to stay in treatment
to stop hurting myself
to stop hiding
to be willing

i love...
my family
my partner and kitty
my therapist

i hate...
feeling desperately tired of struggling
being judged and my feelings being hurt by the person i rely on and love most
feeling like i can never get enough of what i need
Image
"The world was made for those not cursed with self-awareness."
-Screenplay of Bull Durham, by Ron Shelton

"Pleasure for the beautiful body, but pain for the beautiful soul."
-Oscar Wilde


Image

User avatar
treasure
forum moderator - workshop & before & after
forum moderator - workshop & before & after
Posts: 11079
Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2004 8:32 pm
Gender: f
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Post by treasure » Wed Nov 08, 2006 11:59 pm

i am... anxious, shy, alone, in control of the decision to si or not

i am not... healthy, ready to help myself

i feel... sad, fragile, pessimistic

i want... my pain to go away or to be held for a little while, to see some hope

i need... energy and hope to put into the next few days/ weeks/ months.

i have... enough money, some confidence, a little support

i love... Bus, 24hr computer access

i hate... myself
treasure
virtual hugs welcome.
shiny place or old place

User avatar
handmade mute
sprouting branches
sprouting branches
Posts: 1001
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 11:36 pm
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Post by handmade mute » Sat Nov 18, 2006 1:07 am

i am... alive, real, coping, strong, going to find a way.

i am not... stupid, selfish, weak, invisible, unfair, to blame for everything, going to fail.

i feel... exhausted, overemotional, drained, unable to cope, sad, useless, worthless and not really here.

i want... to find the silver lining, to find a way to be useful without jumping in to the situation blindly and annoying people.

i need... a way to find a calm place in all the chaos around me, a safe place to go without fear of interruption, to take better care of myself, to get the unit clean for company.

i have... music aplenty, DVDs I can watch, a supportive flatmate taking up the slack because I physically cant, a broken finger.

i love... my gal, my friends and family, the people at BUS, my puppy and the neighbour's dogs. That I've gone months at this point.

i hate... that I'm running out of time to get everything done and I'm falling apart so much that I'm falling behind on my list of things to do.

User avatar
Quiet little Angel
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7754
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:10 pm
Location: somewhere between blue tulips and anxiety...

Post by Quiet little Angel » Sun Nov 19, 2006 3:35 pm

i am...
scared
lonely
confused

i am not...
satisfied
happy
sure

i feel...
sad
tired

i want...
to be loved

i need...
someone to care

i have...
all and nothing...

i love...
those who care...

i hate...
me and my stupidness
/May

:lblstar: Never underestimate the power of silence... :lblstar:
:lblstar: micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand... :lblstar:
:lblstar: ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there? :lblstar:
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome

User avatar
HiddenByLies
beyond inspiring
beyond inspiring
Posts: 9109
Joined: Sun Nov 28, 2004 12:30 am
Gender: Female
Location: My Own World Interests: Music, Art & Poetry Age: 22

Post by HiddenByLies » Wed Nov 22, 2006 6:11 am

i am...
-happy
-excited
-anxious
-tired

i am not...
-sad
-angry
-depressed
-suicidal

i feel...
-amazing

i want...
-him to ask me out!

i need...
-to probably go to bed

i have...
-so many thoughts running through my head

i love...
-him

i hate...
-nothing today, life is finally good for a change
the worlds her stage the people her crew
she looks so happy to me and you
but inside her body are secrets and lies
they're all her own that she hides behind
Image
her radiant mask her wonderful grace
but inside she's wondering why she's stuck in this place
but into her being she'll fall and remain
until someone frees her it's all just the same
:star: :ylwstar: :grystar: :ylwstar: :star:
Maurice --> :moove: <-- Bylies
|-MY PLACE-|
|-my poetry-|

User avatar
balletomane
one of us
one of us
Posts: 13705
Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:54 am

Post by balletomane » Tue Feb 06, 2007 3:10 am

i am...
tired
worn out
sad

i am not...
inspired

i feel...
low

i want...
to feel better

i need...
rest

i have...
food

i love...
my friends

i hate...
my anxiety
my mood disorder

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