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Raiku · Post by **Raiku** » Fri Nov 10, 2006 2:17 am

i feel like crap. my GF is mad at me for being antisocial, she hates the fact that i dislike being around alot of others and others hate me. i didnt have friends growing up because others hated me.

how should i deal with this?

b3autifu2l37 · Post by **b3autifu2l37** » Fri Nov 10, 2006 2:28 am

perhaps the first step is changing the mindset that everyone hates you. if as soon as you meet someone, you think "they're going to hate me" or "they hate me," you won't let yourself establish a friendship.

i'm sure being made fun of as a kid was rough. kids are mean. i'm sixteen, trust me, i know. they're brutal. but they're also self centered and ignorant. they don't realize that what they say will stick with people for a long, long time.

my best advice would be to perhaps join a small group or club that you're interested in? for example, a book club, a bowling league, an art club. you might find people with the same interests and who are willing to make a friendship with you, if you let them.

this is my first post in this forum so i apologize if it wasn't helpful whatsoever. good luck

Raiku · Post by **Raiku** » Fri Nov 10, 2006 2:52 am

people do hate me, i once said hi to a guy amnd he told me to go away

b3autifu2l37 · Post by **b3autifu2l37** » Fri Nov 10, 2006 2:53 am

i dont hate you. i like you

and i'm from new jersey too- just noticed your "new jersey" under your username.. people from jersey are assholes

Raiku · Post by **Raiku** » Fri Nov 10, 2006 2:59 am

yeah

but still, it gets depressing about how people can be

b3autifu2l37 · Post by **b3autifu2l37** » Fri Nov 10, 2006 3:08 am

i agree- but their opinions don't matter. people will always be cruel, you have to learn to look past that and ignore them.

Raiku · Post by **Raiku** » Fri Nov 10, 2006 3:11 am

so how do i get my GF to be silent about my antisocial problems?

b3autifu2l37 · Post by **b3autifu2l37** » Fri Nov 10, 2006 3:15 am

i'm sure she's just saying things because she cares. it might be hard for her too, especially if she's a really social person. sometimes it's hard for really social people (like myself) to try and understand how someone doesn't enjoy the company of others. if she's really upsetting you, could you sit her down and talk to her? explain to her that it hurts you when she says those things.

i don't mean to be pushy, but would you consider joining a club or group? you can't break the feeling of everyone hating you unless you allow yourself to get to know people and allow people to appreciate you the way all us bussers do

Raiku · Post by **Raiku** » Fri Nov 10, 2006 5:16 am

well, i did a church group

didnt go so well

Raiku · Post by **Raiku** » Fri Nov 10, 2006 9:30 pm

my parents are telling me the same thing

i just dont want to be used

Post by **Spidey** » Fri Nov 10, 2006 9:35 pm

to be honest though being used is the chance you take. with everything. including friendships.

Raiku · Post by **Raiku** » Sat Nov 11, 2006 1:20 am

so i dont need it then?

Raiku · Post by **Raiku** » Mon Nov 13, 2006 3:34 am

now i think my GF is going to leave me because i dont want to be around others. also because my parents made me call her even though she didnt want me to

the edge of the world · Post by **the edge of the world** » Mon Nov 13, 2006 8:29 am

a group of my friends have a standing joke/non-joke: "it's good to be used because it means you're useful." and then I realised that i'm not useful... forgot my point.... but you can be used, but use other people... evens out? *realises edge isn't making sense... shuts up* i think there is a point hidden deep in the words above...

Raiku · Post by **Raiku** » Tue Nov 14, 2006 2:07 am

the edge of the world wrote:a group of my friends have a standing joke/non-joke: "it's good to be used because it means you're useful." and then I realised that i'm not useful... forgot my point.... but you can be used, but use other people... evens out? *realises edge isn't making sense... shuts up* i think there is a point hidden deep in the words above...

so... the ends justifies the means?

i had a dream where i went to college and there was this creepy club there where their goal was making others happy and knowing me, i kept on chasing them away. i made the girl in the club cry as during the oliday season, i insulted her like crazy as she wouldnt stop trying to befriend me.

Post by **treasure** » Tue Nov 14, 2006 4:48 am

i have social anxiety and spend most of the time by myself. i prefer being alone but i know there is a point where being alone "hurts" me. i think its ok if you don't join any groups or go out much, but only if that is balanced by being around people some of the time. do you think antisocial=bad and social=good, or vice versa? is your gf being reasonable? is "not wanting to be around ppl" a problem for her? why?

sorry if thats too many questions, feel free to ignore them. if you avoid social contact even when you might enjoy yourself, it ends up being very limiting to having any enjoyment.

Raiku · Post by **Raiku** » Tue Nov 14, 2006 10:02 pm

well, she feels that its bad for her to socialize and i dont

Raiku · Post by **Raiku** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 6:18 am

well, should i just move to where she lives to go to her college?

Raiku · Post by **Raiku** » Wed Nov 29, 2006 3:07 am

treasure wrote:do you think antisocial=bad and social=good, or vice versa? is your gf being reasonable?

its vice versa

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