Before - comments welcome

[Guest]

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:



how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

It will help me to feel ... I can't bear being numb

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

Hurting myself will enable myself to feel pain.
And take away this awful numbness

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

I want to be able to feel.
Hurting myself will help me to feel.

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

I'm not sure how long the pain will last.
After that, I'll probably hurt myself again


what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

There's nothing I could do now that will help me to feel, instead of hurting myself

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

If I hurt myself, tomorrow I will feel more able to hurt myself.


urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer



Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?

I feel the need to hurt myself simply because I want to be able to feel.


Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?

Yes. I went to sleep. I woke up feeling numb - still.


What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?

Nothing.
Nothing.


How do I feel right now?

Numb


How will I feel when I am hurting myself?

Pain


How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?

I'll feel relieved, I hope

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?

I don't think so


Do I need to hurt myself?

I want to.


Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.

[Smeagol]

Why are you feeling numb, do you know? When did you start to feel numb? Was it after a particular event?

Could you look through coping for some suggestions for other things you could do. For exmaple, you could get some pain by holding an ice cube. Temporary pain. Or you could try to feel a positive emotion by putting on some really bouncy music and making yourself jump around to it. Or you could make a list of things you don't like about your life - maybe that would push you into crying and that would be carthartic.

[Guest]

I seem to feel numb all the time

Thankyou. I'll check the list.

[Smeagol]

Could you watch a really sad or really happy movie, or something? I'm just wondering whether, once broken, the numbness might stay away.

Because pain isn't an emotion. Or at least not the way you describe it. You seem to be describing a physical sensation, like heat or cold. And if that's the case, then si isn't making you not numb either.

[Guest]

Nothing seems to make me cry, or laugh ...
Very rarely am I able to do either

Pain stops me feeling numb ... sometimes

[balletomane]

Hi Rach. I'm sorry you're feeling so numb. Don't give up though. Keep trying different alternatives (like the ones Smeagol suggested). Eventually something or some combination of things will help, at least a little.

Take care of yourself. I hope you feel less numb soon.