Things Left Unsaid

Post by **Spidey** » Sun Oct 15, 2006 9:22 pm

i know you're laughing at me. but i really don't give a damn.

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:11 am

so you think my apologies are weird do you? so you dont even remember what you did that hurt me so much its all ive been thinking about for a week now? so. thanks. its nice to know i matter so much to you.

thanks for not caring in the least.

ViolinPlayingGoat · Post by **ViolinPlayingGoat** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 2:46 pm

*fuck you. we showed you that we can do it. even though we were shit scared, we went in there and showed you. i hope you go down for a long time after putting us all through this.
even though i've been crazily stressed these past couple of weeks, and i think its partly cos of this trial, i've done it now, without having a breakdown, and i'm not going to let this screw me up for any longer cos its over now and i hope i never see you ever again. i hope you finally understand that what you did was wrong, and that you stop being so fucking arrogant and admit that, even if its only to yourself.

*if you'd have actually asked decent questions i could understand- thats your job and i was prepared for it. but you didnt- you just told us we were lying. thats fucking out of order. to just tell me it never happened is bullshit, you don't know anything. i wanted to throw things at you. just cos we're easy to intimidate doesnt mean you should.

black_23 · Post by **black_23** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 11:06 pm

Im sorry for being sad and down, I don't know why. I just couldn't shake it this weekend and that feels so weak becuase it shouldn't affect you. That ad just got under my skin so badly I couldnt thnk of anything else, and I didn't want to fall and let you down. Im sorry. Thank-you for trying to help. Im sorry everything so shitty.

red umbrellas · Post by **red umbrellas** » Tue Oct 17, 2006 5:30 am

i'm sorry. i really am. i don't know what you see. i don't know how you haven't seen what i do.
i'm sorry because i' not good enough. and i'm NOT deserving.

MusicalMorphine · Post by **MusicalMorphine** » Tue Oct 17, 2006 6:46 pm

You're the only two people that really help me. I just wish you could know it.

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Tue Oct 17, 2006 8:03 pm

yes. ok. i made a snap decision. we made snap decisions. but it hasnt gone wrong yet. would a little faith be too much to ask? you havent even met her yet. if you had you'd understand. and im a step away from losing her, always. im a step away from losing everything, every second of every day. is it too much to just want you to give me an inch? A fucking inch! I know they're all gone or useless right now. but i dont need anyone else trying to rule my life. there are enough of us in here already without you!

and yes. snap decisions. but its working. kind of.

pms ok, I spose

ViolinPlayingGoat · Post by **ViolinPlayingGoat** » Tue Oct 17, 2006 9:55 pm

i want to write you a letter and leave it for you tomorrow morning.
but there is no way i can pretend that it would actually have a purpose.
so i can't.
i'll just look like even more of a freak than you already think i am.

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 1:15 pm

you're...still ignoring me. I'm starting to hate you.

flipflopfetish · Post by **flipflopfetish** » Fri Oct 20, 2006 1:51 am

if i had to pick someone i admired the most, there's a good chance i'd pick you. so why are you ignoring me!!

myshelle · Post by **myshelle** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 3:54 pm

I don't tell you everything because you can't handle it. You act like you want to understand and care, but you're too weak to know the truth about me. You just stand there hoping I'll magically open up to you. The little things I say to you freak you out, things that have nothing to do with me and you try to make me feel paranoid and unsure. You would never be able to understand why I cut myself or even accept it. You would lable me as mental and look at me the same as you look at your other daughter. I can't even be personal with you. You try too hard to be angry at the world and you shut us all out. You wonder why this life is hell to you. I'm not asking you to become something you're not- I'm just asking you to enjoy the moments the three of us have together because one day we'll all be gone.

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 3:56 pm

I didn't mean it. It meant nothing. I don't want to make excuses. There isn't any excuse for what I did. It was disgusting to treat you that way. Can we talk about it, though?

ViolinPlayingGoat · Post by **ViolinPlayingGoat** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 9:24 pm

wtf is up with you??
you say you forgot to reply, you acknowledge i sent the bloody message and then you don't give me an answer.
you confuse me.
but then i guess its my own stupid fucking fault anyways for taking so long to get around to asking you.
i thought you still liked me but maybe i'm wrong and i screwed up again.
it is my fault as i've probably been a bitch without meaning to, but its not because until recently i couldnt deal with it cos i was still so hung up on her. who i am i kidding, i probably still couldnt deal with it, i'd screw up again. and just make it worse for both of us.
i wish i could have some kind of normal relationship without getting so crazy about it.
i feel so alone right now, i wish you'd say SOMETHING. anything.
i want to scream at you and you've not done anything wrong.
i'm making my own problems, as always.
i did try though.
you can't say i didn't go down fighting at least a little bit.

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 9:45 pm

my entire sodding body aches. it was fantastic. i think you broke my hip. i dont even remember your name. you might have ruined my life. i dont remember making the decision. but if i had to make it again...i think i'd do the same thing.

im sorry for the fallout of it, that wasnt intended, that wasnt intended at all. it didnt even occur to me that all this would happen. im sorry for the consequences, but im not sorry for the action. we were going to have to deal with it eventually. i dont understand monogomy.

pm's ok

Aly · Post by **Aly** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 10:12 pm

You do my head in. You are so rude and arrogant. How dare you call me cheap, and how dare you try to make claims on how I feel. You don't have any bloody 'powers'. Get Real! You cannot 'feel' me. You live a bazillion miles away...you are not pyschic, you are not special, you are not a fucking angel, you do not save people, you don't have fucking wings. Seriously, get back into reality. Stop living this fantasy life. Do you not realise people think you are ridiculous?

Never again try to tell me what I feel. Dont be so bloody patronising. You could not even begin to know me or how I feel...
And NEVER call me cheap. I am not cheap. I am far from cheap. Saying 'Ace-o' and 'good-o' does not make me cheap.

Try not to insult me again.

I do not like you right now

-PMs Welcome-

black_23 · Post by **black_23** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 11:31 pm

I'm sorry I'm not there for you all the time. They say its ok I have my own life, but I feel so guilty cos I should be there for you, the thought of you upset makes me feel evil as I'm meant to be the one you can turn too. I'm so so sorry.

I'm sorry I came home and cried it seems so weak after you being on your own all day, but I feel so sad and tired. I do love you.

red umbrellas · Post by **red umbrellas** » Mon Oct 23, 2006 2:50 am

i want to fix you. all three of you.
i need a fucking magic wand though. and i can't do that. but i want everything to be ok. i don't want any of you to have to deal with this shit. if i could make things alright, i would. because i hate seeing things like this. and i'm sorry if that makes me selfish.

-

please don't push it. i love you so much. but please....let me be me. whatever that is. i have to figure this out for myself. i'm sorry if i hurt you - i don't want to. but realise that sometimes what you say hurts me too. again, i need that fucking wand.
cos i'm not really ok, and i'm trying to work things out. somehow. just, bear with me ok. i'm trying. really.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Mon Oct 23, 2006 11:09 am

you're a great guy and a great friend, but you're a fucking bastard for what you did to her and for the fact that you'd do it all over again without a moment's thought. stop making excuses for the fact that you're just too fucking scared to commit to someone because it means being vulnerable.

_MessedUp_ · Post by **_MessedUp_** » Mon Oct 23, 2006 11:12 am

D- I'm sick of this. All my life you've never been there yet you constantly remind me that you're my "real dad", well guess what, you've never acted like a dad. You have screwed me up in so many ways, i'm angry at you yet to be honest i've had enough. The whole shares things is what has pushed me too far. How can you promise me all my life that you'd sign over what was rightfully mine at 18, only to back track and claim them as your own? No doubt S has had something to do with that. And before you think it is, its not about the money, its the pronicple, you evidently haven't got a bone of moral fibre if you can lie to me for 18+ years. You have never been there for me when i've needed you, you've only ever made my life 10x harder. You want to know what triggered my self harm again for the first time in 2 years? YOU. It was you, and the fuss you kicked up over my 18th that led to that. You will never change and quite frankly i can't cope with you anymore. I know this is harsh but you've pushed me to far, as far as i am concerned you don't have a daughter anymore.

fortune · Post by **fortune** » Mon Oct 23, 2006 11:23 am

B- i am in love with you, as much in love as you can be without being in a proper relationship. you're the best friend i've ever had, you know everything about me. you're the only member of the male species that i actually trust. i would follow you anywhere... even to death. i mean it, i would die for you. i am worried about you. if i could crawl inside you and take away your pain, i would be happy. if only to see you live, if only to love you from afar - i would be happy. i truly believe you are my soulmate. i will never tell anyone the things you have trusted me with.

bus

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