before.

[Fieryphoenix]

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
i can go to sleep and care about myself

what will it take away from the situation?
nothing

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
closer, i feel better about myself when i am hurting

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
until it heals.

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
?? i could play games or eat something. it won't change anything.

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
the same

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
i want company. someone here with me. i can't

Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
i'm lonely and drunk.

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
i burned the shit out of my arm. i felt better

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
i've tryed watching tv. i went to play darts. i don't know.

How do I feel right now?
sad, alone

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
better, happy, more in the moment

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
ok, i'll be fine 2m

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
i can't, i hate being alone, it normally sets me off. thats why i like peole being around

Do I need to hurt myself?
yes

[Smeagol]

Why do you feel better abut yourself when you're hurting?

If being lonely is a trigger, is there anything you can do to avoid that? For example, I often feel miserable when my bf is off doing stuff and I'm not. This term I'm really trying to make sure I have plans for myself every evening, so that I don't feel so lonely and empty.

[balletomane]

Hello Fieryphoenix.

I am sorry you are having a rough time of things right now. You mentioned that if you hurt yourself you will be able to go to sleep and care about yourself. What is stopping you from going to sleep and caring about yourself anyway, without harming yourself?

You also mentioned that you are drunk. Please be extremely careful. Do whatever you need to keep yourself safe.

It is okay to take some time for yourself without self injuring. You deserve to get rest when you need it.

Take care.

[pinky]

Fieryphoenix...i know that whenever i feel alone...i seem to journal more...i have a few journals that i keep...one is for when i feel lonely, i try to write down the things that help me not feel so lonely...i try to make a list of all the postives in my life...that journal i share with no one, not even my t nor pdoc, as i feel that just would nt be to understand why the loneliness i feel...

so i guess try to rite down all the good things that happen or will happen in your life...i like to make some plane for my future and then looking back i realize that alot of people feel the same as i do, so i am really not alone...

i hope that make sense and helps a little...

[Fieryphoenix]

thanks for responding you guys.
Smeagol: i'm normally ok, but right now two of of roomates are gone, so unless i wanna go out to the bars, i got no company, but they are coming back soon. so i think that i'll be ok once they get back. i don't really feel better about myself, but i'm able to focus on one thing, then go to bed, so it feels better? i think.
balletomane: the only thing that was stopping me from just sleeping, and feeling better in the morning, was the thought that i wouldn't. plus i really miss my friends, which unless i wanna go out really far from home, it won't happen. i just got a DWI, (drinking while intoxicated) so i don't wanna go to far from home. i'm ok though, thanks for caring.
pinky i've really tried hard to write in journals, but maybe i just gotta try harder. a couple of people have told me to do that, but i just can't for some dumbass reason. i think it's cause if it's wrote down, i can't take it back, which is stupid, i know... but i think that it could be good for me, if i could get past that.

thanks everyone who replied.

[Smeagol]

Could you chat online to friends, or ring someone up?

Is there anything else you could do to focus? For example, have you tried meditation? Or could you do embroidery or colouring or killing, or anything that requires focus and would distract you fromyour feelings?