before

[pinky]

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
it wont change the situation but at least i will be hurting


what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it wont bring anything...it wont take anything away either cause i did it to myself...

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
i just wish i could take back what i did...neither cause i cant take back what i did but at least i will have a reminder of how much i hate me and how stupid i am...


if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
the relief will last as long a i keep hurting myself non-stop...nothing


what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
there is nothing else...i cant change the situation and i will just keep hurting myself until there is nothing left to hurt anymore...


how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
i hate myself as it is so the self-hate will just be stronger and i will have once again proved to myself how stupid i am...

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
i wish i could take back what i did...i wish i could prove to some that i am not what they think i mite be...


urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer


Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
ccause i hate me and i did something stupid like i always do...i am a stupid dummy like my parents always told me...


Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
never...nothing...nothing

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
nothing...nothing


How do I feel right now?
i feel like a piece of crap...i feel like the dummy that i am...i feel the need to hurt myself so very badly...i feel stupid like i have always beent old that i am...


How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
i will feel nothing...cause i know that i deserve to be hurt...


How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning? i will feel the same, like the stupid dummy that i am but at least i wont be able to hurt anyone else...tomorrow i will feel the same way..


Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
no...no


Do I need to hurt myself?
yes, i need to hurt myself...just like when i was growing up and my parents needed to hurt me...i need to hurt cause i havent a brain...i have ruined something that means a great deal to me... i have ruined everything...

please no replies...i dont want to hurt anyone but me...the me that doesnt matter to anyone...the stupid me...the dummy me...the me that i hate so very much...