cause I like them as well as I like cats and dolphins. I need to also put the Bus on my emergency card,cause this helps me so much,just to post my feelings and emotions down. It is not easy for me,to go this long without SI and I am proud of myself Just hanging in there and taking it one minute at a time.6 days without SI
6 days without SI
I have not done any SI for 6 days now,and it is not been easy for me,even more so at night. The weekends are hard for me,mainly the night time,and sometimes the week nights are hard for me. I want to say I am sorry,cause I wrote that wrong,somtimes it is cause I have nothing to do,or that is when the painful emotions really bother me and I do not know how to cope when it is late at night,cause my friends are usually sleeping and I do not have anyone to talk to. I am sorry for that mistake.I was wondering if someone could e-mail me token for a week for self-harm,cause when I print it off it comes to small or to big on my paper. I hope you know what I am talking about. I try to keep myself busy during the day,but late at night that is when the SI happens,cause everything starts to bother me then. I made myself a emergency shoebox and decorate it and I am starting to put things in it,someone posted about making a emergency book,I do not know who that was,but that sounded also like a good ideal,but not sure how to do that one. I am proud of myself for not doing any SI for 6 days now,and I am giving myself a butterfly, cause I like them as well as I like cats and dolphins. I need to also put the Bus on my emergency card,cause this helps me so much,just to post my feelings and emotions down. It is not easy for me,to go this long without SI and I am proud of myself Just hanging in there and taking it one minute at a time.
cause I like them as well as I like cats and dolphins. I need to also put the Bus on my emergency card,cause this helps me so much,just to post my feelings and emotions down. It is not easy for me,to go this long without SI and I am proud of myself Just hanging in there and taking it one minute at a time.I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
congrats on the 6 days 
have you tried emailing it to yourself? I'm not sure where those are anymore other than on the emoticon page & my computer won't open that.
angelical_dreamer has a coping book & generally has good ideas of what to put in it. you might try pm'ing her (double check the name I always forget if there's a _ in there or if it's a space)
have you tried emailing it to yourself? I'm not sure where those are anymore other than on the emoticon page & my computer won't open that.
angelical_dreamer has a coping book & generally has good ideas of what to put in it. you might try pm'ing her (double check the name I always forget if there's a _ in there or if it's a space
)-
angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
first of all congratulations on the six days si free
i pmed you this but i will post this for others to see as well,
i just wanted to let you know that you are not alone,
i read your two posts in the coping board, im the same way, we have alot of things in common, i struggle at night and the weekendss too, weekends are hard for me, and night are hard for me also,
i m do okay during the dday cause i keep myself distracted and all, but nights are pretty bad,
i have stopped self harming, for about 4 years now, but i still struggle with my eating disorder and depression andd anxiety, it gets so bad, im in the same position as you are, so i can totally relate to what you are going through
i cant remember which post it was but i posted about emergency books and also a busser name limestone too posted about emergency books, i have a coping book, well used to have i didnt finish it ,
but now it reminds i have to work on it,
one thing that has helped me is an emergency box filled with distractions,
coloring books, crayons, soap bubbles, play doh, helpful posts from the coping board, maybe some pms from people here that have pmed you. let see what else, i have some fuzzy posters that i need to color but ihavent colored,
i have coping cards too, i have a coping bank actually, its a small container that has small cards written in each one a coping alternative
you take one out and do the alternative then if you still feel urgy take another one out and do that other alternative until the urges go away.
i have more stuff that can help you , and that has helped me , check out my coping space, it has stuff that i have posted there that has helped me to cope.
the link is in my signature.
i have to go to church now but i will come back later and post some more
take care and stay safe
i pmed you this but i will post this for others to see as well,
i just wanted to let you know that you are not alone,
i read your two posts in the coping board, im the same way, we have alot of things in common, i struggle at night and the weekendss too, weekends are hard for me, and night are hard for me also,
i m do okay during the dday cause i keep myself distracted and all, but nights are pretty bad,
i have stopped self harming, for about 4 years now, but i still struggle with my eating disorder and depression andd anxiety, it gets so bad, im in the same position as you are, so i can totally relate to what you are going through
i cant remember which post it was but i posted about emergency books and also a busser name limestone too posted about emergency books, i have a coping book, well used to have i didnt finish it ,
but now it reminds i have to work on it,
one thing that has helped me is an emergency box filled with distractions,
coloring books, crayons, soap bubbles, play doh, helpful posts from the coping board, maybe some pms from people here that have pmed you. let see what else, i have some fuzzy posters that i need to color but ihavent colored,
i have coping cards too, i have a coping bank actually, its a small container that has small cards written in each one a coping alternative
you take one out and do the alternative then if you still feel urgy take another one out and do that other alternative until the urges go away.
i have more stuff that can help you , and that has helped me , check out my coping space, it has stuff that i have posted there that has helped me to cope.
the link is in my signature.
i have to go to church now but i will come back later and post some more
take care and stay safe
-
angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
reply
Thank-you very much for your information that you sent,it was a big help. I am just feeling anxious tonight,cause I am sitting here all by myself and my thoughts are on SI that I had to get on the bus instead. I was wondering if you could help me start a coping book and the cards that you were talking about. I really do not like the way that I am feeling and it has been 7 days now and I do not want to do SI,that is why I am here. I hate night when I am alone,cause my thoughts start to go to SI. If you could send me the information,by Pm,I would be very grateful.Thanks again,and if you do not mind I will be writing to you,byPM. I am trying very hard to get through the night,but it is not easy,nothing is bothering me,besides feeling anxious and scared;plus lonely. Thanks again and I hope to hear from you soon Just hanging in there and taking it one minute at a time. 
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
-
angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
ok here is a link that can help you out with the cards i mentioned in my earlier reply , its from this site actually and it has helped me out alot. you can choose any of the coping alternatives from this list, i would print out the list of the alternatives and check off the ones that might be helpful to you to use
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=34500
i would start off with that first , going through the list of coping alternatives, and of course you can pm, i know exactly how you feel
and after you are done, you can look for pictures on the internet that make you feel safe and secure, what do y ou like? do you like teddy bears, flowers? i want you to make a comfort book filled with pictures and inspirational quotes , you can do a search for inspirational quotes, you can also decorate this notebook the way you wan t it, but it has to be special to you.
i hope that this helps, i just got back from the movies, so im replying now hope that this helps tonight, you sound just like me
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=34500
i would start off with that first , going through the list of coping alternatives, and of course you can pm, i know exactly how you feel
and after you are done, you can look for pictures on the internet that make you feel safe and secure, what do y ou like? do you like teddy bears, flowers? i want you to make a comfort book filled with pictures and inspirational quotes , you can do a search for inspirational quotes, you can also decorate this notebook the way you wan t it, but it has to be special to you.
i hope that this helps, i just got back from the movies, so im replying now hope that this helps tonight, you sound just like me
reply
Hi
It is 1:39 in the morning and I should be in bed,and the thoughts of SI are getting stronger. I copied off all the coping skills and I like butterflies,cats,dolphins,flowers and teddy bear and can I use regular notebook? It is soo hard for me right now,cause I do not know if I will make it through the morning without doing SI,please do not be mad at me,I am scared and nervous and I am trying soo hard. I PM you and I hope you write back to me. Thank-you for being there. Stay in touch with me and I hope and pray that you are doing alright. Just hanging in there.
It is 1:39 in the morning and I should be in bed,and the thoughts of SI are getting stronger. I copied off all the coping skills and I like butterflies,cats,dolphins,flowers and teddy bear and can I use regular notebook? It is soo hard for me right now,cause I do not know if I will make it through the morning without doing SI,please do not be mad at me,I am scared and nervous and I am trying soo hard. I PM you and I hope you write back to me. Thank-you for being there. Stay in touch with me and I hope and pray that you are doing alright. Just hanging in there.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
-
angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
for the comfort book, you can use a regular notebook, but decorate it and make it special , just working on that its a distraction it self, you and i like the same things, right now its 1:05am and im about to go to bed in a few minutes but just wanted to come by here and check to see if you had posted,
im sorry that you are having a tough time tonight , try your best to not si , i know its easier said than done,
work on your shoe box, fill it with special things, do anything to distract yourself.
why dont you try drinking some chamomile tea? thats helps with anxiety and its soothing, and it helps to relax you and maybe you can sleep,
maybe listen to soothing music? how about making a tape of your favorite songs to listen to at night time you can pick out songs that cheer you up, and at night when the urges are worse you can listen to the tape, and that would be your emergency tape.
i think i will actually make myself an emergency tape just for times when i cant sleep . or if you prefer you can make an emergency cd with your favorite songs? but making a tape takes longer time, and its distracting,
something else that relaxes me is to do some yoga poses, and some stretching, before going to bed, it helps me feel better and i sleep alot better, you can find yoga poses on google, in google images.
i would stay up till later just making sure you stay safe, but i really need to get some sleep, i have to the french alliance tomorrow around 10 am and i want to get my sleeping back to normal and follow a meal plan, im going to take french lessons i dont know when they start , so thats why i have to go tomorrow,
well i hope that im helping you with all of this, the first thing i will do in the morning when i wake up is come to check this post and see how you are doing.
you can keep posting here, or you can pm ,either way. i dont mind.
hope that you sstay safe tonight and that you manage to get some sleep.
oh one thing that has helped me also,is my portable dvd player , and dvds, i can watch my portable dvd in my room if i cant sleep without disturbing any one with the noise from the tv,
well take care , and be safe! i believe in you .
you can do it!!!
im sorry that you are having a tough time tonight , try your best to not si , i know its easier said than done,
work on your shoe box, fill it with special things, do anything to distract yourself.
why dont you try drinking some chamomile tea? thats helps with anxiety and its soothing, and it helps to relax you and maybe you can sleep,
maybe listen to soothing music? how about making a tape of your favorite songs to listen to at night time you can pick out songs that cheer you up, and at night when the urges are worse you can listen to the tape, and that would be your emergency tape.
i think i will actually make myself an emergency tape just for times when i cant sleep . or if you prefer you can make an emergency cd with your favorite songs? but making a tape takes longer time, and its distracting,
something else that relaxes me is to do some yoga poses, and some stretching, before going to bed, it helps me feel better and i sleep alot better, you can find yoga poses on google, in google images.
i would stay up till later just making sure you stay safe, but i really need to get some sleep, i have to the french alliance tomorrow around 10 am and i want to get my sleeping back to normal and follow a meal plan, im going to take french lessons i dont know when they start , so thats why i have to go tomorrow,
well i hope that im helping you with all of this, the first thing i will do in the morning when i wake up is come to check this post and see how you are doing.
you can keep posting here, or you can pm ,either way. i dont mind.
hope that you sstay safe tonight and that you manage to get some sleep.
oh one thing that has helped me also,is my portable dvd player , and dvds, i can watch my portable dvd in my room if i cant sleep without disturbing any one with the noise from the tv,
well take care , and be safe! i believe in you .
you can do it!!!
reply
I got some sleep,but not enough that I wanted.You are helping me alot and I did slip by cutting,I am ok though,no need to worry about anything bad happening to me. I did not get to bed to 2:30pm, I am sorry that i did slip,I feel so guilty inside and alone;plus feeling abandonment by my friends,cause they are sleeping,when I need them the most, please do not be mad at me,I feel terrible inside for slipping and once I start SI,it is so hard for me to stop,that is what my therapist told me. I am ok,just tired and I feel so bad inside for what happen,you are helping me, so remember that.Just wanted to let you know and I will work on the coping work today. I feel bad inside for what i did. Just starting a new day.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
-
angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
dont feel bad, a slip is a slip, you can start all over again, today is a new day with a new begining and a fresh new start.
im glad that im helping you somehow. i will be off and online through out the day. i need to work on some therapy assignments right now, i have therapy today at 1pm till 2pm
try to stay busy today , and try to distract yourself.
and remember im not mad at you for slipping , i really understand how hard is to fight the urge to SI im not mad at you.
well ihope that today you can stay safe, and if you need to , take a nap during the day, if you feel tired .
well gotta go now, need to work on thearpy assignments. take care of yourself
im glad that im helping you somehow. i will be off and online through out the day. i need to work on some therapy assignments right now, i have therapy today at 1pm till 2pm
try to stay busy today , and try to distract yourself.
and remember im not mad at you for slipping , i really understand how hard is to fight the urge to SI im not mad at you.
well ihope that today you can stay safe, and if you need to , take a nap during the day, if you feel tired .
well gotta go now, need to work on thearpy assignments. take care of yourself
reply
Hi,
I was wondering if I should make the comfort book first or the coping book first,I bought myself a notebook it is a three subject one,I am not sure which one I should start first. I am doing pretty good today and I am keeping myself busy tonight. I just wanted to thank-you for all of your help. I was wondering do you want to be pen pal on the board,it is up to you. I hope you are doing ok and everything is going good for you. I wrote in my journal today and it helped me alot. Let me know how you are doing,you are weclome to pm me if you want to. Just wanted to say you have been a big help.Just hanging in there and doing the best I can do.
I was wondering if I should make the comfort book first or the coping book first,I bought myself a notebook it is a three subject one,I am not sure which one I should start first. I am doing pretty good today and I am keeping myself busy tonight. I just wanted to thank-you for all of your help. I was wondering do you want to be pen pal on the board,it is up to you. I hope you are doing ok and everything is going good for you. I wrote in my journal today and it helped me alot. Let me know how you are doing,you are weclome to pm me if you want to. Just wanted to say you have been a big help.Just hanging in there and doing the best I can do.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
-
angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
hi just wanted to check how you are doing tonight, and how youve been the whole day sorry for not posting earlier, i had some stuff to do and had to go grocery shopping ,
i hope that you are doing okay. by the way i didnt get your pm, but i did get a notice in my email about getting a pm from you but i clicked my inbox and didnt get your pm, i dont know if there is trouble with the pm system right now.
well i hope that you are doing okay, i will be up for a little while more, for about 2 more hours, i think, if i dont fall asleep, i will come back and check if you have replied. hope that you are doing okay!
take care and stay safe
i hope that you are doing okay. by the way i didnt get your pm, but i did get a notice in my email about getting a pm from you but i clicked my inbox and didnt get your pm, i dont know if there is trouble with the pm system right now.
well i hope that you are doing okay, i will be up for a little while more, for about 2 more hours, i think, if i dont fall asleep, i will come back and check if you have replied. hope that you are doing okay!
take care and stay safe
reply
Hi,
I am doing pretty good. I have not done any SI,so I am proud of myself for that. I started my comfort book,and adding favorite quotes,like you mention and I put one coping skills if you are having a rough day,I think i got that from your coping skill page,sorry about that. I put on some of the pages that I did. I got two notebooks, I have not started the coping skill book yet,not sleeping good it is 6am here where I live. I am doing good so far.Copied off the coping skills from the coping site of the board. I was wondering if you want to pen pals by being on the bus? I was wondering.I am still having problems sleeping,but it is getting better. I am glad that you are doing ok. If you have any more ideals that will be helpful,let me know about being a pen pal on the bus or you want to do it a different way. I am sorry that you could not open the PM, you try writing to me this time on it,if you want to. I am doing pretty good today,expect sleeping was not good. Just hanging in there each minute.
I am doing pretty good. I have not done any SI,so I am proud of myself for that. I started my comfort book,and adding favorite quotes,like you mention and I put one coping skills if you are having a rough day,I think i got that from your coping skill page,sorry about that. I put on some of the pages that I did. I got two notebooks, I have not started the coping skill book yet,not sleeping good it is 6am here where I live. I am doing good so far.Copied off the coping skills from the coping site of the board. I was wondering if you want to pen pals by being on the bus? I was wondering.I am still having problems sleeping,but it is getting better. I am glad that you are doing ok. If you have any more ideals that will be helpful,let me know about being a pen pal on the bus or you want to do it a different way. I am sorry that you could not open the PM, you try writing to me this time on it,if you want to. I am doing pretty good today,expect sleeping was not good. Just hanging in there each minute.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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