Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

Lenny · Post by **Lenny** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 12:46 pm

PMs welcome

Im scared that you will find out about my SI, i dont want you to know, i dont want to hurt you.

Im scared that you will find out im gay, you'll disenherit me

fuyumi · Post by **fuyumi** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 5:09 pm

comments welcome in PM
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- I wish someone WOULD see my wounds and ask me about them and not invalidate my feelings.

- Hardly anyone knows that I was actually diagnosed with BPD but then they deleted it out of my journals. I am still afraid of what will happen when people find out.

- Five years ago I was the closest to dying as I have ever been, and I keep wishing I had succeeded.

marshmallowfluff · Post by **marshmallowfluff** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 7:18 pm

I dont want to be your girlfriend.
I'm not attracted to you.
I dont like you.
I wish you could say the same to me.
I dont want to hurt you.
But more selfishly, i dont want to be hurt by you.

PMs welcome

tattered_shattered_lady · Post by **tattered_shattered_lady** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 10:58 pm

*PMs wanted*
i keep having girl crushes.
i'm 21 years old and all my crushes right now - be they on tv or irl - seem to be on women.
i'm lost and confused.
This has been happening for a few years but still nothing makes sense. Is this/am i normal?
It feels so odd saying this...replies would be much appreciated please?
tatt

ViolinPlayingGoat · Post by **ViolinPlayingGoat** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 2:47 pm

i'm scared that i'm over it. i'm scared that i'm not over it.

i'm scared that the reason i got an A last year was because of her, and now i'm going to be exposed.
i can't give up chem even if it is too much work because i'll feel like a diappointment to her and dad. and it will look like i only took it because of her. which is only *partly* true...

fuyumi · Post by **fuyumi** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 9:45 pm

PM welcome
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- i wish i had never told you that i hurt myself; ever since you found out you've only been making it worse, but i'm afraid to tell you that because i don't want you to leave me

black_23 · Post by **black_23** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 10:38 pm

I wish i didnt feel like i was im limbo, torn between trying and almost wanting to give up. I'm scared that everything is falling apart and that my depression has come back again really bad. I want to curl up in a corner

marshmallowfluff · Post by **marshmallowfluff** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 11:01 pm

you asked why i sleep so much.....

its so i dont have to think about you.

pm's okay

MusicalMorphine · Post by **MusicalMorphine** » Fri Sep 08, 2006 4:24 pm

I don't want to go to you're stupid party. I don't want to get drunk and play spin the bottle like a fucking twelve year old. Half the people there probably won't even talk to me, and I don't even know half the boys. I know I have a rep for getting out of things, and you probably think I'm no fun. But getting pissed out of my head and doing stupid stuff is not my idea of fun. Sorry. Should my rep not be a clue to you that you shouldn't try to push me into it? I know what I like to do and that is not one of the things. Don't think you know better than me.

bluefruitbowl · Post by **bluefruitbowl** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 1:53 am

I miss feeling like I belonged looking at posts in the life after selfharm.
I don't know what I think about you, I wish it didn't bother me so. I want to tell you the truth.
I want someone to hold me and mean it.

jordan · Post by **jordan** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 6:27 am

pm's are fine

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im scared im not enough to keep her alive, or even enough for her to stay with me

im happy about the weight i have lost and how i am looking, but its not enough

my si is never good enough. im a woose for not going deeper

theboldeditalics · Post by **theboldeditalics** » Sun Sep 10, 2006 3:24 am

sometimes i get sick of it all.

but at the end of the day, i'd do it all over again.

powdahchica · Post by **powdahchica** » Tue Sep 12, 2006 2:12 am

PM's appreciated.

-I miss her like crazy. I can't seem to let the thought of how happy I was with her go.
-I don't have any desire to be with T (who sexually assaulted me), but the fact that he's dating my roomate almost makes me physically ill.

April · Post by **April** » Tue Sep 12, 2006 2:37 am

I wish you understood. I wish someone understood.

Catylyx · Post by **Catylyx** » Tue Sep 12, 2006 10:58 pm

((pms okay))

* the day after we broke up i ripped to shreds that picture of us. when we first fell in love. you had a poem on the back telling me that everything would be okay, that if i doubted to look at the picture and know you loved me.
i love you beyond anything else. but i hurt so bad that ripping that picture was better than ripping my arms.

* I still don't fully trust you. I love you beyond death...but its going to take you a long time to earn my trust back again.

* I forgive you. and You. and You.
but most importantly...I FORGIVE ME.

* Forever is a long time. But i don't mind thinking about it with you. One step at a time though. i'm yours forever, but lets see how it goes in a year.

mandie_girl · Post by **mandie_girl** » Wed Sep 13, 2006 4:18 am

comments/pm's are okay

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sometimes i wish i still si-ed. i'm getting along, but it doesn't always feel real. i wish i hadn't stopped fasting. stupid ed crap. i feel disgusting. i am supposed to get my senior portraits taken in two weeks. i don't have anything to wear. can they photoshop out my scars? i can't stand having my picture taken, i'd rather be invisible. who would i give them to anyway?
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why did i let him f*** me up like that? why do i allow myself to be so fragile? was the whole damn thing a mistake?
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i thought i might have been pregnant. i was so scared. he told me later he was looking up what some czech baby names would be in english.
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i don't tell anyone anything real anymore. i don't trust anyone to see the ugly little thing i really am. so i come here and spill my guts, rather than talking to real people that i might care about, that might care about me, that might touch me. don't touch me.
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< i haven't seen my T in a month and i should see my doc about my meds, but i am terrified of being locked in the psych ward again, and i hate to admit that i'm not really ok anymore. i was, but i'm not. i am crumbling. i'm so tired of trying.

MusicalMorphine · Post by **MusicalMorphine** » Wed Sep 13, 2006 4:40 pm

*SU*
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I want to think that it's in the past, but you planned ahead so I'm not so sure. I'm so fucking scared, I can't lose you.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Wed Sep 13, 2006 8:36 pm

i'm a hopeless romantic

red umbrellas · Post by **red umbrellas** » Thu Sep 14, 2006 4:41 am

i wish i didn't have to hide everything because you see everything.
i don't want to stop hurting myself but i can't let you see.

i'm scared you don't love me the same as you did. actually, i'm scared you never did. it frightens me every time you don't tell me you love me at the end of a conversation. maybe i'm not worth it. maybe you just don't need me.
and i need to be needed. not just wanted. it's pathetic i know.
because without you...i don't know where i am.
but at the same time...i'm afraid that maybe i don't love you enough

i'm so tired. i just want to stop.
and leave.

poet with probs · Post by **poet with probs** » Thu Sep 14, 2006 5:02 am

ok wow , coments r ok-PM
- ok i am afriad that my grandparents will die and leave me all alone
- i am afraid to be all alone
- i hate my parents , and i still lilke them because they get me what i want ( percing, car , tatto) and i hate that i do that
- i am BI
- i amafraid to tell my T anything
- i am afraid of geting to close to people
- i am afraid that i wound be able to say no to sex
- i miss my last bf and think about him evry day
- i cry for movies, and songs but i cant cry for my sister or my boyfriend
- i am afraid that i aleante the ones that i nead the most
- i am afried that my temper will get the best of me one day and i will hurt someone
- i am afraid to drive because i will find a fast esey way out of life

bus

Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

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